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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mixing up your food on a plate is bad manners?

292 replies

Moonatic · 14/10/2015 21:15

This is dh I'm talking about. Made a pastry-topped chicken and leek pie at the weekend. Served with sweetcorn and carrots. Before eating it, he cut his whole serving into small pieces (size of a penny), then mixed it up. I got really annoyed, as dis the kids and asked him not to eat that way, because it was really bad manners. He said it wasn't. Who is right?

To add: this was just one example. If it's mixable, it gets mixed up. Cottage pie, fish pie, lasagne, pasta, curry and rice - it all turns into a big plate of mush.

There is also a sub-question: is it rude to cut your food into small pieces before eating it? By which I mean, cutting everything into small bite size pieces before starting to eat. Again, I say it is, dh says it isn't. (This is what he does with food that is less easily mushed up - e.g. something like chops, new potatoes and vegetables.

OP posts:
SarfEast1cated · 14/10/2015 21:28

has he always done it OP?

WorraLiberty · 14/10/2015 21:28

You got really annoyed, as did your kids?

Blimey. Chill out.

He's not spooning down your throats, is he?

Passmethecrisps · 14/10/2015 21:29

I do understand what you mean - I would be a bit Shock at that. However, at the end of the day manners go both ways and if your DH wants to enjoy the meal you made him like this then all the better. He could scrape it in the bin and make toast - then you would have a point

MummyMonkeySnot · 14/10/2015 21:29

I'm the type of person who cuts all mine up into smaller, bite sized chunks before eating it then put my knife down and use just my fork. I've always done this, no idea why. It's become a bit of a running joke between me and DP. No one has ever told me I'm rude or bad mannered. It's the way he eats, why should it matter so much as long as he eats it all Confused

CocktailQueen · 14/10/2015 21:30

Mm! I wouldn't like that either. Not an attractive way to eat - not very manly. I can see why you're cross. Not sure if it's rude or just bizarre. Would be mortified if dh ate that way!

Original poster
Moonatic · 14/10/2015 21:31

Have to say, I'm surprised so many people think I'm unreasonable.

I thought most people grew out of mixing their food up at around the age of 6 - if not before. Oh well.

OP posts:
Whoknewitcouldbeso · 14/10/2015 21:31

Yep, just the behaviour I was describing and yep it sounds totally gross.

I would probably choose to eat separately so I didn't have to watch him eat. Or else I would passive aggressively serve his food up on the plate, slam it into the food processor each time and then serve it as a huge splat on his plate and suggest he gets on with it Smile

thenightsky · 14/10/2015 21:33

People who cut their entire plate of food up before swapping the fork to the right hand and shovelling.... do you not find your food goes cold very quickly if it's all in sat in little pieces for a while?

winchester1 · 14/10/2015 21:34

I'm basically training my oh while he is slowly training me to mix my food a little maybe you should try the same!

Passmethecrisps · 14/10/2015 21:34

I have a habit (apparently) of pointing my knife at my food in a zealous manner when I am particularly enjoying what I am eating. DH thinks it is cute but doesn't mention is as it embarrasses me and puts me off what I am eating.

There are worse things he could do. I am Not surprised you don't like it but I genuinely think that in your own home you should be able to eat how you like

MsRinky · 14/10/2015 21:35

I would find it absolutely repellent. Can't imagine I would ever have got past the first date with him, let alone married him and had his children. But you did, so I don't think there is anything you can do about it now.

Rainbunny · 14/10/2015 21:36

Well, as others have said of course he can do what he likes with his food. I personally agree with you though OP. It does look childish when an adult does it though and very unsophisticated. I also think that food can be enjoyed visually as well as through taste and by mixing it all up makes it look less appetizing. You also miss different taste combinations when it's all mixed up. Perhaps you can start throwing his dinner in a blender, he might like it!

StealthPolarBear · 14/10/2015 21:36

I agree it's a bit odd though ime children like food not to touch rather than mashing it up. Mine have grown out of that phase now.
But curry has to be mixed!

Oysterbabe · 14/10/2015 21:37

Yanbu. I think it's rude and he should eat like a grown up.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 14/10/2015 21:37

Er, no. Perfectly fine. If he then proceeded to stick his face in the plate and hoover it up, I'd have a problem. If he uses a knife and fork and eats like a human, it's fine. Good grief!

Original poster
Moonatic · 14/10/2015 21:39

Dh only tends to eat with us once a week. Usually he eats separately due to various reasons of practicality. I try to make a "nice" meal for the family to enjoy together on a Sunday.
If he is eating alone, he can - and does - do what he wants.

Anyway. It's interesting to hear other points of view.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2015 21:40

My DF does this and it's repulsive. All mixed up with half a bottle of HP on it. He also shovels it in and eats with his mouth open. My DM eats so slowly that it is like watching a snail and she expects everyone to sit quietly at the table until she is finished. My DB's jaw clicks.

I live 5000 miles away from them. They are lovely really. Grin

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 14/10/2015 21:42

DH mixes some foods but I really don't care so long as he likes it, it's not like peas get digested separately from carrots etc. Personally I prefer to eat in a certain order but that's me.
DH has just commented 'it all goes to make a shit at the end of the day' or morning, afternoon or evening Grin

miaowroar · 14/10/2015 21:43

I personally wouldn't like it, but having told him that it is off-putting and rather babyish, if he won't accept this, I don't see what you can do - especially at home.

I think it would be telling though if he only does it at home and not when at restaurants or other people's houses. That would imply that he really knows there is something weird about it.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/10/2015 21:43

Nice. Insult us all who think yabu by insinuating we are immature Hmm. Sick to shit of this attitude that foods appearance is more important than it tastes. You making it look nice is more important than him enjoying it? It's food! How on earth do you people eat mince and tatties?!

ouryve · 14/10/2015 21:44

I think you're being too precious.

DeepBlueLake · 14/10/2015 21:45

I would be pissed off too OP. YANBU.

reallybadidea · 14/10/2015 21:45

I'm with MsRinky, I wouldn't marry someone who ate like that.

apinchofsugar · 14/10/2015 21:45

I have always been told it is very rude, so not to do it full stop. You cut a piece then eat it, and you don't make a mush in your plate. I am amazed that this seems such an alien concept for so many?

It's hard enough to teach basic manners to kids, I wouldn't be too amused by an adult setting up an horrible example.

I suppose in most places you have to be grateful when adult don't speak before they empty their mouth... sigh

Hereslookingatchoo · 14/10/2015 21:49

I always mix my rice in with my chilli con carne or my curry....DH hates it but it's how I like it. I hate the fact he empties half a bottle of soy sauce on his rice....

Each to their own.

If that's the extent of his irritating habits count yourself lucky Grin