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Original poster

A driver just screamed at me... My fault or his?

119 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 13/10/2015 14:35

I took my DD to visit my nan, she lives on quite a thin windy road that's absolutely packed with cars. To get from one end to the other you have to pull in (in front of occasional driveways) probably 10-15 times.

I parked, visited, and came back to the car to put my DD in on the road side. I waited about 3-4 minutes for a clear road and ran round there to put her in her seat. She was messing around and struggling and it took me longer than usual... I looked to the right and a car came speeding around the corner, not even giving me enough time to shut the door and get behind my car. I put my hand up in a 'wait' gesture... And he screeched up beside me, opened his window and said 'what the fuck?' Or something like that. I said that he was going really fast and I didn't think he'd stop' the road really is thin and he couldn't have got past me, I'm sure.

He said 'you look after your fucking self and I'll watch my own fucking driving...' And continued to shout at me while cars behaviour to queue behind him, and cars arrived and waited the other way.

I couldn't just leave my DD sitting unstrapped in the carseat and I have a really bad back and can't climb across to do it, so as he wouldn't move, I just opened the door as much as I could and strapped her in while he screamed at me. Everyone was bibbing like it was my fault but I was parked... He was the one blocking the road.

It's really shaken my confidence, I'm not the best driver and I really have to force myself to go out and actually use my car.

Was I in the wrong? Should I have found a place on the other side further down where she would've been kerbside? Should I not have signalled to him to wait?

OP posts:
Pooka · 13/10/2015 14:38

He shouldn't have been aggressive. But I always wonder why people take children in and out of car roadside.

I would have parked further away rather than try and get DC in and out of a roadside door in a narrow street.

Not excusing him though...

SlaggyIsland · 13/10/2015 14:39

God, how horrible! What a nasty, aggressive idiot.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/10/2015 14:40

Firstly he was wrong to yell and scream at you this is a criminal offence.
He was a prick.
That said, you knew it was a dangerous road, and maybe think of Dd being in the passenger side rather than behind you? Or parking the other way?

diddl · 13/10/2015 14:41

I think that you were both wrong.

He should be being careful on a windy narrow road, but as pp put, why people faff about roadside is beyond me.

If he could have got by, surely you were blocking the road?

gandalf456 · 13/10/2015 14:42

Whoever's fault it is, he did not have to react like that. It immediately puts him in the wrong, I think. What was he thinking using that kind of language in front of a young mum and her baby, anyway? Very intimidating.

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 13/10/2015 14:43

I take my child out on the road side because I have two children.

Yanbu. He should have waited. But maybe next time park on pavement side to save yourself stress. Although as I say, this only works until you have another dc!

Shutthatdoor · 13/10/2015 14:43

Was I in the wrong? Should I have found a place on the other side further down where she would've been kerbside?

Yes you should. It is dangerous for you and her. You were also blocking the road.

He was being aggressive.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/10/2015 14:43

Why is the car seat on the driver's side? Not your fault but if it was an issue...

Nottodaythankyouorever · 13/10/2015 14:44

Both in the wrong I think.

You were blocking the road if he and those behind him couldn't get past.

He was very rude

Gruntfuttock · 13/10/2015 14:45

The thing is, you said "a car came speeding around the corner", so you were obviously fairly near a corner and you could have been killed or severely injured which is a heck of a lot worse than being shouted at. Maybe find a safer place to park in future, and, as a PP said, put the child seat on the other side, not behind you so that you'll be able to fasten the seat without standing in the road.

MerryMarigold · 13/10/2015 14:46

This is why I bought a car with sliding back doors. Once you have 2 kids there always has to be someone roadside.

Whathaveilost · 13/10/2015 14:46

I take my child out on the road side because I have two children

I'm not sure what you mean? Why can't you get them out on the pavement side? I only got my two it roadside where absolutely necessary.

pudcat · 13/10/2015 14:46

Must be the day for prattish drivers today. I had a white VW on my tail on a twisty 50 mph road today. Several deaths have occurred over the past couple of years. At one set of bends the advisory signs say 40 mph. He kept trying to overtake with no clear view, even though I was not under the limit. Came to my left hand turn, I indicated well in advance as he was practically on my bumper and slowed down to turn. He kept beeping his hooter and shook his fist as he overtook. Wonder if he managed to complete his journey without mishap.

Moodyblue1 · 13/10/2015 14:48

He shouldn't have been aggressive with you but personally if the road was that thin and narrow I would have parked so I was taking my child out kerbside rather than onto the road especially when faffing around with car seats.

gandalf456 · 13/10/2015 14:48

Mine are older but I just make them climb all over one another to get out kerbside

dottypotter · 13/10/2015 14:48

how rude and ignorant to speak like that to you?

MerryMarigold · 13/10/2015 14:49

I only got my two it roadside where absolutely necessary.

So...ummmm. How do you manage that? Climb over strapped in toddler to remove baby and then reverse out via strapped in toddler. Then remove toddler?

SirChenjin · 13/10/2015 14:49

He was completely in the wrong for screaming abuse at you. Bet he wouldn't have done that if you'd been a massive 6.5 foot bloke.

That being said, it's always a good idea to load passengers and bags from the kerbside. Hope you're OK - don't give the wanker a second thought.

diddl · 13/10/2015 14:49

It's possible to get two kids out kerbside, unless you can't lean across to unstrap the roadside one.

Forestdreams · 13/10/2015 14:49

He obviously did not behave appropriately.

However as a pedestrian I wouldn't signal to a driver to wait. You wait until they give way to you, then thank them with a wave. It sounds like you were ordering him to wait, whereas he thought (correctly IMO) it was up to him to judge whether there was space for him to go round you, or not. Some drivers get v irate at being told what to do - that's why backseat drivers are so hated. Either way, of course he shouldn't have shouted at you.

nameinlights · 13/10/2015 14:50

No one should behave the way he did.

I'm don't have a car so maybe I'm being dense. Why didn't you move the car seat to the side by the pavement? Or turn somewhere and re park so the seat was by the pavement?

MerryMarigold · 13/10/2015 14:50

Gandalf, I do now, but with babies and toddlers it is very difficult. I can't praise sliding doors enough. (I had twins and a toddler just to add to the confusion and lived in London where parking anywhere is difficult let alone on the 'correct' side of the road).

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 13/10/2015 14:51

For your own safety, it's not the best idea to load dd in on the road side, if you can avoid it - but I have had to do so on occasion, sometimes it's unavoidable. There was no excuse for his aggression. He probably wouldn't have acted that way if you were a man.

He was being a twat.

MerryMarigold · 13/10/2015 14:52

diddl, it's not just unstrapping, you have to carry a baby too. And in our car (3 seats across the back), it is not possible to reach roadside from kerbside.

PastaLaFeasta · 13/10/2015 14:58

It depends on the age of the child whether it us possible.

As the road was clear when the door was opened it is the fault of the driver, if he had hit you, for not driving with due care and attention. This is a typical hazard on the road so he should drive expecting such events.

I also agree with pp that some men can be very aggressive with a lone women in a way I cannot believe they'd behave towards another man. Disgraceful behaviour.

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