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AIBU?

I feel sick about sending Ds to nursery that referred me to SS.

257 replies

FlameProofBoots · 12/10/2015 19:08

I'm a bit worried about posting in AIBU so I've got my flame proof boots and pants on.

AIBU to feel like this?

A couple of weeks ago I hurt myself and had to spend a night in the hospital. I have MH issues and social services have already assessed us and moved on.

My parents took my youngest to nursery on the morning of my hospital stay and told the nursery owner I'd taken an overdose.

The nursery owner made a referral to social services and they've now put us on the 'child in need' bracket and we now have a social worker. The sw went through the referral with me and it was awful.

She's stated that I took an OD and slashed my wrists in front of the children (not true) and then went on to list her other concerns. She mentioned that Ds has been in pjs when I've brought him in (true, he's a clothes refuser and twice I've had to bring him in pjs or not go at all) and that as he is often distressed at drop off time he is emotionally disturbed by my illness. She also said that she has tried to talk to me and dh about this but we've blanked her. This is categorically not true.

Basically she's added 2+2 and come up with about 500. It's all conjecture (she must have heard 'overdose' and gone into overdrive) and linking things that have nothing to do with it.

The sw is going to talk to all three kids at school and then go from there. He went through the referral and amended and made notes as we spoke so I'm hopeful the whole thing will blow over.

Tomorrow is ds's first day back there since I read the referral and I'm feeling sick about seeing her when she obviously thinks I'm a suicidal abusive horror. There's every chance I'll be taking him in pjs again as he refused clothes at home today and she'll be judging me, even though they've previously said bringing him in pjs is fine.

This has rocked me a lot and I feel like hiding away and never facing her again, but Ds loves nursery and they are good in lots of ways.

How can I deal with this?

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kawliga · 19/10/2015 04:15

To those who disapprove of the idea of sending the child to nursery in comfortable, loose clothing, worn to bed the night before ... I'm curious how this is in any way worse than sending him in his pyjamas.

In the majority of countries around the world there is no such thing as 'pyjamas'. Clothes are clothes. People sleep in what's comfortable to sleep in. As long as the child is clean and well fed and sleeps in comfortable clothing it doesn't matter whether they are 'day' clothes or 'night' clothes.

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FlameProofBoots · 31/10/2015 15:42

Just wanted to update you all. The social

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FlameProofBoots · 31/10/2015 15:45

Argh my phone.

The sw has been to see us twice and has closed the case. He said we should be very proud of how we've handled it as our children are very happy and lovely kids.

I've been diagnosed with bpd and they've adjusted my meds, and I start a new therapy course in the new year. So all very positive.

Thanks for all your posts, it all helped me see the situation more clearly.

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