Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the head that actually HER hair looks shit

155 replies

Denmancanttouchthis · 12/10/2015 09:16

DD year 6 has just started doing her own hair in preparation for residential trip. School rules state it has to be tied back. She can do a perfectly serviceable plait with no hair loose/around her face. She has naturally frizzy/wavy hair anyway

The head teacher told her twice last week her hair was messy and 'looked a mess'. Head told her she couldn't get her photo taken for the newsletter on Friday as her hair was too messy, overheard by DS as well.

AIBU that if the hair meets school rules then head can bugger off with her opinion of if its ascetically pleasing to her or not? And possibly tell her that since she has lego hair we don't want her hair advice

OP posts:
abbieanders · 12/10/2015 09:17

You'd be extremely stupid and childish if you were to do that.

BrendaandEddie · 12/10/2015 09:20

think the Head's hair is nothing to do with it, as you know.

IamSantaClaus · 12/10/2015 09:20

What an incredibly silly thing to say to a child . A teacher of mine said a similar thing to me when I was around that age and I can still remember the embarrassment it caused me . I'm not sure having a go at her hair would do any good but I feel for you and your dd.

Nabootique · 12/10/2015 09:21

I'd leave out the last bit, tempting as it may be. YANBU to be annoyed though.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/10/2015 09:22

Childish. You admit your daughter's hair is not 'aesthetically pleasing', so why not just teach her how to sort her hair? You will be heading for trouble when she is older if you don't.

flanjabelle · 12/10/2015 09:22

I acualLy think that the heads attitude towards your dd is pretty poor. She has been very critical of her appearance which will be crushing for a child's self confidence. If she has naturally frizzy hair it will be difficult to get it perfect anyway. There is a big message here that her appearance is not good enough and that is cruel imo.

I wouldn't approach it in the way you suggested, but I would definitely raise this as a concern.

slicedfinger · 12/10/2015 09:23

Tempting, but I think you need to stop just short of that. But you know that don't you. Wink

Original poster
Denmancanttouchthis · 12/10/2015 09:23

Thats a no then Wink

Clearly i'm not going to mention the lego hair, although someone should.

So I should just keep letting her tell DD that her perfectly normal hair looks a mess?

OP posts:
BrendaandEddie · 12/10/2015 09:23

lets see it

Seeyounearertime · 12/10/2015 09:24

I'd complain to a higher power about the heads attitude tbh. Especially if her words upset you LO.

The head sounds mean to me, banning her from having a photo? Why not just ask LO teacher to use a bit of water or something to neaten it and have her picture took?

Sighing · 12/10/2015 09:25

Wavy / frizzy hair on a child will escape from plaits etc. They are too young to be obsessively primping and preening hourly or using a load of crap products on their hair or damaging thrir hair daily with straighteners. The head needs to be realistic, not everyone's hair is like tele!

Original poster
Denmancanttouchthis · 12/10/2015 09:25

She has naturally wavy hair. I didn't say it wasn't ascetically pleasing, I'm saying this is what the head is implying by saying its a mess. In other words it has bumps/lumps and isn't a swooshy shiny flat on her head plait.

OP posts:
BrendaandEddie · 12/10/2015 09:26

post a pic fgs

ouryve · 12/10/2015 09:27

Tempting, but not wise.

As an owner of thick, wavy hair that looks messier, the more it's faffed with, I can sympathise with your DD.

Original poster
Denmancanttouchthis · 12/10/2015 09:27

But shitter

To tell the head that actually HER hair looks shit
OP posts:
BrendaandEddie · 12/10/2015 09:28

your daughter? otherwise impossible to opine

timeforabrewnow · 12/10/2015 09:28

I think telling her she has lego hair is reasonably restrained. I'd tell her to f* off with her comments immediately.

YANBU and no - we don't need to see a picture.You are perfectly capable of deciding if your DD's hair is tidy enough or not.

MrsUltracrepidarian · 12/10/2015 09:28

Why faff with a plait? Just put in a simple pony tail.

Original poster
Denmancanttouchthis · 12/10/2015 09:28

You know the heroin addict off OITNB? Like that. But without the bad eyeliner.

OP posts:
BrendaandEddie · 12/10/2015 09:28

but the OP might be the Wild Woman of Borneo

timeforabrewnow · 12/10/2015 09:30

Ha ha - great pic of the headmistress - love that plastic shine!!

PeopleLieActionsDont · 12/10/2015 09:31

If your child's hair is meeting the school rules then that's good enough. The rest of it really isn't the head's business.

I don't know why some teachers think it is acceptable to be rude and nasty to children. As reaponsible adults and educators, they should be modelling the behaviour they would like children to emulate.

Personally, I think some heads are too preoccupued with trivia and would do better to concern themselves with the more important issues and not get involved in fussing about hair, which does not impact on a child's ability to learn, at all.

Original poster
Denmancanttouchthis · 12/10/2015 09:32

Oh no my hair is fab.

OP posts:
bearleftmonkeyright · 12/10/2015 09:33

My DD has hair that is crazy and frizzy and a bit wild. She is 13. We have straightened it in the past but 10 minutes later it is back to its natural state. There is also loads of it and quite hard to plait. I have no answers but I do get it. My hair is nothing like hers and I am not that good at doing my own hair. Mine is straight flat and thin.

Egosumquisum · 12/10/2015 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.