To think that going out with the "girls" isn't the B all and end all and that maybe these people need to grow up and stop dumping their kids on people so that they can go out and get drunk!

[Suzi78]

Just that really. I have shall we say aquaintences on Facebook who I've known from various places, work, college, school etc and their posts are full of nights out, holidays, lunches etc and this is all they seem to care about. There are four women in particular, three of whom are single parents (if you can call it that) and the other is married. There Facebook feeds are all about how they can't wait to dump the kids on their fathers at the weekend as they can't wait to go clubbing, to parties, concerts etc etc, but are dreading their hangovers the next day!

Now I know that everyone is entitled to a bit of me time and shouldn't be begrudged a night out but with these women it's every single week! Three of them don't even work so I don't know how they afford to go out every week as well as buying a new outfit, getting their hair done weekly, manicures etc.
As far a I'm concerned (before anyone suggests it, and I know that they will) I'm not jealous, I'm relitively happy with my life and could chose to go out every weekend if I wanted to as I have enough friends who socialise in different circles and I'm always invited to go out, but I work all week, my children go to after school club so weekends are for family time. Now I know that people do things differently and whilst that's all good I don't know how these women can just dump their kids every week not spend any time with them and spend their money on goog out when their kids need things first. I know I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I dot care, I think it's disgrace, a parent is supposed to put her kids before everything (within reason) and clearly these women don't give a damn and would rather spend their time getting drunk on nights out than with their child and spend money on flashy clothes and haircuts rather than on their children, AIBU to think this is kind of sad?

Having read your last update I have to ask...

Who are you actually trying to convince and more importantly, why?

Do you have really low self esteem?

Does judging women on Facebook and running to Mumsnet with your tittle tattle, make you feel like a better parent?

If so, you need to look towards whatever it is that's clearly going on with your life.

Thanks Timeou I think you get what I'm talking about. But I can honestly say 100% that I'm not jealous. Like I've already said me and dh have a huge family so if we wanted we could call on them even on a regular basis to babysit and if they weren't available and we were desperate for a night out then we'd book a babysitter. We aren't really well off or anything but we could afford to pay someone to come and mind our kids for a couple of hours but we don't really feel comfortable with that.

Are you the woman who is vexed by your SIL's life choices?

Scared or scarred?

Do these women sometimes have sex with total strangers too???

You've repeatedly mentioned that 2 of them don't work yet but can get their hair and nails done regularly and buy new clothes as well as going out. I'm going to assume that you are in fact quite envious of their lifestyle.

You should stop worrying about what other people are doing and concentrate on your own life because it's really not normal to get so worked up about something that has absolutely no impact on your life whatsoever.

I'm glad that you're happy with your life OP. .

I suggest you stop looking at FB and then you don't have to read about the fun these acquaintances are having on their nights out.

You'll be a happier person for it.

Add me to their friends list. And take yourself off. I haven't had my nails done for ages. I could do with going out drinking more. They sound like a right laff.
Unlike you.

What do you think to the points bluebluebells made OP?

So if you're not jealous, why do you care so much? That's just weird.

Go on, tell us about your SIL again.

It raises interesting sociological points the popcorn quotient

it'd probably be best for your own happiness and peace of mind to not worry about what your acquaintances are up to.

I agree with you, OP. In fact, I've sold all my shoes ready for the arrival of my first child - just incase I get any ideas about doing anything outside the home. I'm about to become a mother, the single most important thing a woman could possibly do with her life, I'm going to have to learn to be content with that. Nothing else matters once you have little ones. I mean, obviously they will eventually grow up, but my special brand of (s)mothering with stay with them for life. They will know I was always there for them. Always. A good mother knows her place, and that's not down the pub like a dirty skank .

You don't feel comfortable with someone minding your children?
Do you and your dh not go out? To dinner? Do you never get invited to an adult only evening party?

You feel quite strongly about people being responsible, I think.

Oh for goodnes sake I'm not envious, jealous or whatever else you want to call it, really I'm not. Why is that in the AIBU section you always get accused of being jealous and bitter if you do not agree with how other people live their lives? Yes I agree that the way these women behave has no impact on my own life but I'll admit that I don't understand why they feel the need to escape their kids so much, that doesn't make me jealous.

Dh and I have a 'date night' boak every week. That is 2 shitty parents by your reckoning. We do it mid week often go for a run or walk so not always a drink but sometimes and the kids are in bed. You are being rediculous and dripping like a drippy tap.

So it's ok to 'dump' your kids with a booked babysitter, but not with their other parent?

You're making less sense with every post.

I have no DC, 8 nieces/nephews and lots of extra kids around. I'm one of these imposed upon people who ends up with kids for Saturday night sleepovers so their parents can drink/club/shag/eat in kid unfriendly restaurants. Sometimes it will be the highlight of my week as I love those kids so much and we'll have loads of fun. So don't assume anyone's being exploited so that these mums can go out for a dance

One of my FB friends, an ex colleague I worked with for a few years would go out socialising at work at least 3 or 4 times a week. She would tag on as many lunches, afternoon sessions or evenings with clients as possible because she loved a good drink. Now don't get me wrong I used to too, but after I had my kids I couldn't face the thought of hangovers every single day. Her weekends were the same.

She posted a status the other day that her daughter said she felt like Saffy from Ab Fab and that her mum was Eddy.

I do judge any parent make or female who regularly goes home drunk to their kids. And sometimes this person could barely stand up let alone speak a sentence. But I know my judginess comes from having watch my mother die from alcoholism.

I don't have a problem with the socialising but if it means being drunk regularly around children I judge. But that said you can go out and have a good time on J20s and likewise get pissed at home in front of the TV and pass out on the living room floor in your own puke and expect your child to deal with it.

I went out once last week. Worked late once . And attended a parents evening. I have another parents evening next week. And also am planning a night out next week too. I do, however live with my dh so does that count as dumping them on their father if they don't actually have to leave the house?

Would you prefer a sp to be crying into a cup of tea whilst the dc go to their dad's?

It's lonely when my dc are at the exes, I go out to enjoy myself. I'd much rather have a decent husband and family time but life doesn't always work out like that.

The likelihood is that they've been the only parent all week. Believe it or not it's hard raising a child single handed. Why shouldn't they let their hair down once a week if that's what it takes to refresh the soul ready for Sunday evening.

I'm a single parent, I'd love a girls night out once a week. Sadly DS's Dad doesn't bother having him with any regularity so it doesn't happen.

Good luck to those who CAN do it though.

Oh and YABU.

Their life, their choice.

Well it's AIBU as you've quite rightly pointed out. And most people think YABU. You are clearly struggling with the concept that most of us disagree with you.

Call on your family to help then now and again, your children won't be scarred by it I promise you, you'll enjoy the change of scenery. A night out now and again with your husband really is good for the soul. You don't have to get drunk if you don't want to but honestly, throw caution to the wind and let your hair down now and again. Life is too short to sit at home watching how other people run their lives, go live yours!

"Dirty skanks"? Ha ha.
They sound like a right bunch of brazen hussy's. Ha ha. Sign me up. Show me the way. I'm in!!