Sounds petty but need perspective - Really pissed off our neighbours and feel really bad... :-(

[Academ]

I feel really terrible right now and would like some perspective. We share a drive with our neighbours, each house has parking at the front. We had block brick paving on ours and the actual drive was concrete. Neighbours decided they wanted to block pave theirs and then wanted to pay to block pave the whole share drive. we raised a number of concerns including that there was no way we could afford to contribute and worried this would cause future conflict, and how it would blend into ours etc and were reassured that the builders would take up the side of ours then use the pattern and take this across the whole drive and onto their side hence making it look like one big shared drive. We reluctantly agreed as the drive was uneven and they both struggle with mobility. This isn't what has been done. The builders have put a big border down the side of our parking and then extended their block paving from the parking across and up the shared drive. Effectively when you stand in front of the houses it looks they own a massive drive and the drive between the houses and we simply own the now smaller parking in front of ours.

Normally these things really don't bother me, I am not petty or narrow minded, nor do I want to fall out with my neighbours who we adore, but we do want to put our house on the market in the next year or so and I know shared drives put people off and worried this will put people off further. I raised it with neighbours and asked if the builders could return and blend the patterns together to make it not look like we had a very small drive and they own the rest. I raised it really nicely and really gently and they are still really pissed off, saying they paid for it all and not understanding our problem. Our problem is it is not what we agreed and I raised concerns from the start about this - they needed our permission to do it and that was on the basis it would all blend. I am now sitting here feeling terrible but also feeling that I needed to raise it? AIBU?

Are you sure they actually paid £7k? Or is it more likely they're saying that just to make you feel bad asking/telling them that they've ignored your comments & that it needs to be put right?

They might have paid that much. OP says they're older with mobility problems and have always been nice,

It's quite possible they have been scammed by people who've given them flim-flam about securing the value of their property and how the neighbours don't care for appearances or spending money.

I don't think that's OP's concern. I just think that may be what's happened.

It's a really difficult situation. Especially as we haven't seen the pic yet to be able to fully visualise it.

However, when you sell the house, you can still state which part/s of the driveway are your own property and explain it to potential buyers when they look round. They still remain yours as per the deeds, regardless of how much the shared part matches your neighbours and not your own.

Having experienced problems with neighbours myself, and know first hand how quickly they can escalate and get very unpleasant, I would advise you to do all you can to keep things pleasant. Otherwise, if you fall out with them and have to fill in the forms that mention neighbour disputes, you will be legally bound to mention it. That is more likely to put buyers off and devalue it than most other things.

I wouldn't buy your house because of what they have done. It devalues your house and you need to make them sort it out.

If your dispute with your neighbour has been resolved, then AFAIK there is no need to mention it.

So OP has to resolve this in some way either just by rolling over (not good, IMO) or tackling her neighbour and coming to a settlement.

My neighbour used the dispute argument as a threat to try to prevent me arguing with her and to get her own way. Er no.

Unfortunately the neighbour has done something that will affect OP's opportunity to sell and the price she can achieve.

She will have to explain why the front looks as it does while saying it doesn't affect rights of access. It doesn't but it would instantly make me think the neighbours were trouble, declared dispute or not.

Would it be worth getting an estate agent around and asking how much they think this work will take off the property and then ask him / her to explain to the neighbours. They can't really fail to see your point then!

Off the value that is!

I feel your pain OP. I live on a large shared driveway and the idea for block paving the entire lot was raised years ago. Although, partly due to the fact that has been subsidence in one section it all had to be re-landscaped. Half the neighbours could go ahead, half couldn't so it was agreed to wait until we all had funds were in place.

Then one household went ahead but because of the subsidence was in their section is higher than the rest of the driveway. Did they lower their section in readyness for the rest of the driveway being blockpaved? No, of course they didn't.

Then they sold their house. Five years later, it is now to cost-prohibitive to raise the remaining sections of original driveway, and the new owners of the house do not want to take up the block paving either. We can't tarmac or pea shingle the rest as it would look even worse than it does now.

First try the builders, explain you are seeing a solicitor, about the damage to your property.
Then tell the neighbours you will get valuations for your property based on before/after and after.
Them send them a letter explaining what you want, either both borders, no borders or a middle border.
I surprised a builder did this, they had no right to be on your property without your knowledge .., do you know who they are?

If you share ownership of the driveway area in question (which I seem to recall somewhere on this thread being said that that was the case) then surely your neighbours should have got it in writing that you gave permission for the works before even starting them? Otherwise what was stopping them doing whatever they wanted and just saying that you agreed to it?! Obviously this isn't the case and a formal agreement hasn't happened so on the flip-side you could say that you didn't give any permission what so ever (verbally or otherwise) for any works.

This is what I think it looks like

And Academ - you really shouldn't be feeling bad at all. Your neighbour has behaved awfully. Your only mistake is to have been too British and polite about the whole thing

That's what I was imagining, Lynda

Oh lynda, you need no photos, that is absolutely spot on!!!

Yay! It's probably nothing like it TCM :o

:o x-post! You described it very well :)

Ps just come back to this and didn't expect so much support! Thank you. We will sort and has made us reflect on our resolution to move as well. I'll talk again to neighbours, I want to remain friends but for my family I need to protect the value and sellability of our house.

Wow. If that's how it looks, it doesn't just reduce your land to the observer, it actually makes it look like you have to cross over someone else's to access your own parking. Less than ideal.

Your neighbours sound very selfish. To be more polite than I would feel in your shoes. I hope it all works out, OP.

Excellent, "Lynda"! Move over L.S. Lowry!

You need to make it clear to your neighbours that you did not give permission for this to be done to your land and that they make it good without cost to you or you will take legal action.

The difference in a place to park or not could knock £1,000s off a property and could also reduce the number of viewings/offers as it is not going to appeal to as many people.

You need to make it clear to your neighbours that you did not give permission for this to be done to your land and that they make it good without cost to you or you will take legal action.

It is not OPs land - it is shared and the neighbours haven't done anything wrong or illegal.

OP - could you paint your half of the area with a masonry pain which would clearly denote the parking space in front of your house and half of the shared area between the houses.

Lynda - please produce a picture showing what I'm thinking of!!

You're very worried about upsetting them, but they're obviously not concerned about upsetting you!

Lynda - You have been appointed MN resident artist!

I'll talk again to neighbours

No. Talk to your conveyancer/solicitor first.

Paint. Good idea. At least you could tell the neighbours that's what you plan to do!