Sounds petty but need perspective - Really pissed off our neighbours and feel really bad... :-(

[Academ]

I feel really terrible right now and would like some perspective. We share a drive with our neighbours, each house has parking at the front. We had block brick paving on ours and the actual drive was concrete. Neighbours decided they wanted to block pave theirs and then wanted to pay to block pave the whole share drive. we raised a number of concerns including that there was no way we could afford to contribute and worried this would cause future conflict, and how it would blend into ours etc and were reassured that the builders would take up the side of ours then use the pattern and take this across the whole drive and onto their side hence making it look like one big shared drive. We reluctantly agreed as the drive was uneven and they both struggle with mobility. This isn't what has been done. The builders have put a big border down the side of our parking and then extended their block paving from the parking across and up the shared drive. Effectively when you stand in front of the houses it looks they own a massive drive and the drive between the houses and we simply own the now smaller parking in front of ours.

Normally these things really don't bother me, I am not petty or narrow minded, nor do I want to fall out with my neighbours who we adore, but we do want to put our house on the market in the next year or so and I know shared drives put people off and worried this will put people off further. I raised it with neighbours and asked if the builders could return and blend the patterns together to make it not look like we had a very small drive and they own the rest. I raised it really nicely and really gently and they are still really pissed off, saying they paid for it all and not understanding our problem. Our problem is it is not what we agreed and I raised concerns from the start about this - they needed our permission to do it and that was on the basis it would all blend. I am now sitting here feeling terrible but also feeling that I needed to raise it? AIBU?

There are some things in life worth falling out over.

This is one of them.

They must think you were born yesterday

No way was that done by accident. It's your land that they have paved over, so either they put it right or you begin to get legal with them.

Can't you paint some squares on your front parking so that it matches the block paving? Or just paint your side some more matching colours?

Honestly, it sounds like the whole thing looks massively better than it used to, you can come up with a visual trick to make the shared driveway look as much yours as theirs.

Tell them to sort it out. Your moving anyway so what does it matter if you fall out with them anyway?

Agree with everyone else, i would be livid!

If it looks how I imagine from your description then they have done a very bad thing and they should know better.

Can you put some evergreen shrubs in pots down the real border?

Could you do a direct swap of some bricks up the middle with the border blocks? If they could go from the pavement upwards, even if there's not enough to completely split it right the way up. They're probably not concreted in, just resting on sand. I'd just get on and do it next time they're out - see how they like that. Then jet wash yours so yours blend in.

You must get it sorted as any prospective buyer will not want to take it on - either the way it looks or the hassle with the neighbours if they're not happy with it.

Ok, so could it be sorted by removing the two rows of bricks that are the border ?

she's out of order. Remove the boarder. And Paint the driveway a neutral colour so that it's not matching their garden. ??

Does it look like the entire driveway is theirs with yours being an offshoot from "their" driveway?

Seriously don't roll over and take this, from the sounds of it as a prospective buyer it would put me off for sure.

I would also follow up everything you say/ discuss with a letter confirming it from now on.

I think that is an inspired idea from annielouise - to swap over bricks from the border to the middle of the main part, basically redrawing the division between the properties. It's both reasonably easy and economical. Even if the result is not absolutely perfect, it is a great deal more satisfactory to you. You do not benefit from a new patio which is unquestionably neater and more even but which reduces the value of your property!

I would act, OP, and take up the border yourself - preferably as soon as you see your neighbours go out, so it is already started or even finished by the time they get back. This, after all, is exactly what they did to you! But act quickly - do not allow this new arrangement to be set in stone. (Sorry - couldn't resist!) The longer you leave it, the more it will rankle with you and destroy what's left of your relationship with your neighbours.

Depending on the orientation of the block paving, it might just be a case of lifting up the border bricks, and trying to blend the two driveways, however, if that is not possible (if their blocks go in a different orientation, or they simply don't tessellate neatly enough) then the solution would be for the builder to insert a border on their parking space too (will involve taking out some blocks and cutting others), so you each have a defined parking space and a shared drive.

You'll be able to tell which of these options is possible by looking at the orientation of the blocks.

It makes no difference to the actual legal boundaries for the property, but it may devalue your house, as it 'looks' as though you don't own your driveway. Though you need to offset that against the devalue of having to declare a dispute when you sell your house (but that would only come into affect if you get legal/solicitors involved - if I saw on the property form "On one occasion we had to speak to our neighbour to rectify a mistake their builder had made in paving the driveway. It was solved amicably to our satisfaction" it wouldn't put me off).

Does your neighbour actually understand what your issue is (i.e. it now looks like the whole driveway belongs to their house, as borders of bricks are often used to denote boundaries, especially in modern developments)? Neighbours might not be aware.

Oh wow I'd go nuts (helpful)
Not acceptable

Could the builders take up a row of blocks down the middle of the 2 drives and replace with a different colour to de-mark that it's 2 drives. Most block pavers come in different colours but the same size (usually a red, grey and a buff)
This would be a relatively cheap and hassle free solution.

Unless DIY is your thing I think it could end up looking a bit odd if you start pulling up bricks. If it's just a case of moving a few bricks around it shouldn't cost your neighbour much to make the changes.

So she has offered to get the builders back for you to talk to them? Do that.

Strike while the iron is hot. Talk to the builders direct if necessary. They will be able to sort something out.

Talk to the builders and get a border put in on their side or get rid of the border on yours. I really wouldn't let this lie. It could really impact on your sale.

Hopefully neighbour is actually embarrassed that her directions weren't understood by the builder, or that she misunderstood you, and it will all settle down.

So they piss you off and don't feel at all bad about it - but by your reaction, it pisses them off and you feel bad.

May I hand you some gumption. Get that meeting booked and get it sorted out. Get the original agreement made good.

I must be really dim because I can't picture this at all!!

Sorry OP. You MUST get this sorted.

It may be something you are reluctant to do but the 'look' of your home has been drastically effected, thus dropping its kerb appeal and first glance purchasability. So, regardless of your wish to appease your ndn, she has stolen cold hard cash from you, whilst gaining some more for herself, in the apparent worth of your homes.

You will also be asked to get, and pay for, clarification of the deeds when you try to sell. Paperwork like that sows seeds of doubt in the mind of buyers.

If you don't sell and you both live there for 20+ years she may then claim that, as you have not complained legally, the land actually is hers.

The reality is that she must get the builders back and they must make this good. If she does not then you need legal advice and action. But you simply do not have the option of being nice, assuming she meant no harm and letting it slide.

You are being cowed, she is the cow and she is attempting to gain a pecuniary advantage over you.