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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3 children in 3 bed house

152 replies

marzipancustard · 28/09/2015 14:51

I'm asking for other opinions as my sister is doing my head in! We're planning on having 2/3 children in the future & currently live in a 3 bed. My sister has a v large 4 bed detached and plans to have 2 little ones. She keeps telling me (in a very patronising way) that if we have 3 children we'll have to move to a 4 bed because it would be cruel to make 2 children share?

This is total BS, right? We shared a room growing up and I'm sure loads of kids do, don't they? Is it cruel making them share?

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 28/09/2015 14:53

Your sister is a twat. Of course 2 of them can share.

Wishful80smontage · 28/09/2015 14:53

Your sis is being daft lots of siblings share.

jeee · 28/09/2015 14:53

Oh, just tell her it's not a problem - after all, what does she think the cupboard under the stairs is for?

Sighing · 28/09/2015 14:55

Tell her to stick her nose elsewhere. I realise she plans on 2 little ones ... remind her you cannot future proof life that well.

TotalConfucius · 28/09/2015 14:56

I thought that's what 3 bedrooms were designed for - two same sex siblings share the 2nd bedroom, the singleton has the box room. Of course, if the family grows more then the under stairs cupboard comes into play, perhaps the dustbin shed and a pull down bunk over the bath!
My parents had 5 daughters in a 3 bedroom maisonettes. We survived.

Shakirasma · 28/09/2015 14:56

Total BS, your sister is a twit.

museumum · 28/09/2015 14:57

Lots of children share, of course you can.... but it can be nice to have more space eventually if your children of different sexes are far apart in age.. e.g. a 12yr old girl, a 10yr old boy and a toddler girl would be tricky...
Can your current house ever be extended or have a loft conversion at all? It would be good future-proofing, even if you never have to use that option.

Kim82 · 28/09/2015 14:57

She's talking rubbish. I have 4 children in a 3 bed. The three girls share, Ds has the box room. No problems!

DontOpenDeadInside · 28/09/2015 14:57

I have 3 DDS and a3 bedroom house. Dd1 (11) has smallest then dd2+3 (5+7)have middle room. In the future we might swap so they have the biggest room, but its not a problem ATM.

CarrieLouise25 · 28/09/2015 14:59

We have DC3 on the way, 3 bed house, no hope of moving....not worried at all. Not cruel at all x

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 28/09/2015 14:59

We currently have 3 DCs still at home and are in a small 3 bed house. At our previous slightly larger 3 bed house we had five DCs - two teenagers and three youngsters, and then my pfbs then fiancee moved in with us for six months too.
We managed.

PeterParkerSays · 28/09/2015 14:59

When my friend and her ex split up they had a conversation about the boys sharing a room and mummy sleeping in older DS's bedroom. Did the boys have any questions? Yes - does this mean we get bunk beds? The boys were thrilled at the prospect. The fact that mummy and daddy weren't getting on wasn't news to them so they weren't bothered about that in the slightest.

Tell your DSis that she's denying her children the chance of bunk beds.

shovetheholly · 28/09/2015 15:00

It is complete and utter BS! The family next door to me have 3 kids in a 2.5 bedroom house (v small third bed). They are one of the happiest, most functional and healthy families I know!

HeadDreamer · 28/09/2015 15:00

She's right and she's wrong. Basically there is no right or wrong answer. And she's definitely not a twat for having such opinions. I'm also in the camp that believe it's better to have one bedroom for each child. Maybe lots of children share. Lots of children also have nannies and go to independent schools! It doesn't mean it's something I would do.

DD1 is highly sensitive. Before DD2 was born, we talked at lengths about them sharing a bedroom. We even have DD2's wardrobe in DD1's room. And she talked and talked about having a bunk bed with her little sister. But once DD2 started crawling, DD1 found her little sister to be too overwhelming for her. She needed to find a space to hide from her sister once in a while. We talked and DD1 will now have her own bedroom. It just works out better for both of them.

Defenderwife · 28/09/2015 15:00

Never mind the bedroom issue. I think yabu in planning how many children you will have and letting the number of bedrooms you have be an issue at this point in time before you have any idea how the future will plan out. I wanted 4 kids. It took 4 years and 2 IVF's to have just 1 child. You have no idea what will happen. Spend your time worrying about something that matters!

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 28/09/2015 15:01

My two ds want to share. We ve often talked about extending into the loft but they are happy to share. We usually find them in the same bed.

Anotherusername1 · 28/09/2015 15:01

My DH was one of four and grew up in a 3-bed terrace house. Parents had one bedroom, sister had boxroom, three boys shared largest bedroom. Not sure what they would have done with two girls and two boys though!

Anyway, maybe once you've got 2 kids you'll decide that's enough and the problem won't arise. Or you'll have more money and will be able to buy a bigger house anyway. Or get an extension etc. Who knows what the future will bring?

HeadDreamer · 28/09/2015 15:02

It's basically point 1 here

MissMarpleCat · 28/09/2015 15:02

Cruel for kids to share a room? Hmm my dds insist on sharing a room.

AndNowItsSeven · 28/09/2015 15:02

Your sister is being ridiculous , we have 7 in a four bed.

HeadDreamer · 28/09/2015 15:03

It's point 1 in the link

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creative-development/201206/highly-sensitive-children

DD1 needed the downtime. I was a firm believer it's better for the children to share. But after reading Elaine Aron's book, and also seeing it in DD1. I've changed my mind, and would not insist them to share. We have a 3 bed with 2 children.

Babyroobs · 28/09/2015 15:08

Of course it's fine to have 2 sharing if they are the same sex . We have 4 kids and 2 used to share. However as they have entered the teen years wehave turnd our downstairs front room into a bedroom/ bedsit for our eldest so that they all have their own space. I think as they get older it's important to have quiet space for studying etc. It has certainly cut down on the maount of arguing now that they don't have to share and the house generally seems more harmonious as they can each get away from the others !!

mathanxiety · 28/09/2015 15:19

She is an eejit.

I had five DCs in a 4 bedroom house. One boy, four girls. DS got a small room of his own, one DD got another small room and the other three shared the biggest room.

Children can carve out their own space easily with headphones.

When they head off to university they will thank you for
(a) not blowing all your money on a bigger house, and
(b) training them to get along with other people in shared accommodation

*I do advise getting a full second bathroom if you don't have one now. Ime this was the biggest contributor to domestic harmony in my setup.

x2boys · 28/09/2015 15:19

i have two in a two bed ,my grandparents managed to bring up six in a three bed terrace they all turned out just fine in fact one of my uncles is a selfmade millionaire despite having to share his bedroom with his two brothers!

hellsbellsmelons · 28/09/2015 15:21

Tell her you absolutely agree.
As she only wants to have 2 kids then you can swap properties when the babies start arriving.
That way she has enough bedrooms and so do you!

Seriously - she's being an arse!
I shared with my sister for most of my childhood.
We are best friends even now in our 40s.