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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

3 children in 3 bed house

152 replies

marzipancustard · 28/09/2015 14:51

I'm asking for other opinions as my sister is doing my head in! We're planning on having 2/3 children in the future & currently live in a 3 bed. My sister has a v large 4 bed detached and plans to have 2 little ones. She keeps telling me (in a very patronising way) that if we have 3 children we'll have to move to a 4 bed because it would be cruel to make 2 children share?

This is total BS, right? We shared a room growing up and I'm sure loads of kids do, don't they? Is it cruel making them share?

OP posts:

ToTheGups · 28/09/2015 15:24

I have three children in a three bed house. no problems here. I grew up in a three bed house with 5 children in. The two eldest shared the box room and the youngest 3 had the biggest room.

It's not cruel and won't do them any harm at all.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/09/2015 15:28

I don't think it's cruel at all, although I was lucky enough to not have to share with either of my siblings. They had to share to start with though, and then my parents built an extension and they got their own rooms too.

I agree with a second loo at least; especially if you have more than one boy.

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 15:35

Total codswallop. We've got a 3 bed. Ours share. Works fine. If I had another bedroom is split me n hubby if I'm honest. He's got a cold and his snoring doing my dinger

clam · 28/09/2015 15:40

I have a boy and a girl who are now 19 and 17. They've had separate bedrooms since they were about 8 and 6, but they still choose to share a room on Christmas Eve so they can open their stockings together!

And they still share on holiday too, as we're too stingy to pay out for extra rooms for them. Isn't that normal?

BikeRunSki · 28/09/2015 15:41

I grew up in a 4 bed with 3 siblings. We had:

Parents room
Boys room (2 boys)
Girls room (2 girls)
Lodger's room. The lodger also had the 2nd bathroom.

We all survived. Interestingly, we all live in houses smaller than what might be considered ideal now.

formerbabe · 28/09/2015 15:41

It's fine...The only thing I would add is that it can be a problem if there is a big age gap between the same sex siblings as you can end up with a pre schooler in with an older child and you then have issues with decor and vastly different bedtimes.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 28/09/2015 15:42

Yep, your sister is a twat.

toomanyeasterbunnies · 28/09/2015 15:42

Of course they can share. We are in a 3 bed house with two dd's and one ds. It is only now that the girls are getting a bit bigger (10 and 8) that we need to start thinking about extending as they are starting to want their own space.

AnnihilatedBeerGuttedCats · 28/09/2015 15:50

What now?

Other than the whole what you plan for isn't always what happens. . .

I'm one of 8, yes I have 7 siblings brought up in a 3 bed house.

Parents extended after the eldest 2 moved out but that was still 6 kids and 4 bedrooms.

We're all ok, well ok-ish

Original poster

marzipancustard · 28/09/2015 15:56

Totally appreciate you don't always get what you plan for & it's certainly not something I'm 'worried' about - just p's me off! Especially because we probably won't be able to afford to move to a bigger house anytime soon & she knows that!

OP posts:

Onthepigsback · 28/09/2015 16:00

We stayed in a mobile home on holidays this year. The kids loved the proximity and I realised that small spaces are not an issue for a big family other than the odd moment here and there where you want a bit of headspace but people find their own way of doing that. I think my granddad was one of 18 kids in probably no more than a 4 bed house. They all (the ones I knew) grew into lovely, well adjusted adults. 3 kids in a 3 bed house, no problem!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/09/2015 16:05

I also have three DCs and three bedrooms. For us it is a problem because none of the DCs can really share. I have DS1 - 18, DS2 - 14 & DD - 4.

DS1 had ASD and really, really needs his own space. DS2 & DD can't really share as a 14 year old boy and a 4 year old girl aren't ideal room mates for many reasons. At the moment, the main problem would be DS2's GCSE work being drawn on .

However, we have no hope of moving to a four bedroomed house or an extension so we have partitioned the biggest room for now. DH & I are one side and DD is the other.

A good friend of mine has six DCs and three bedrooms. But when I say three bedrooms, I really mean two and a box. She currently has her DS1 in the box room & her youngest two DSs in cots in her room. I'm not quite sure where they're going to sleep when they need proper beds! The three DDs are in the second biggest room.

IAmAPaleontologist · 28/09/2015 16:08

We have a 3 bed and 3 children. Sure I'd like a bigger house, the boys share and ds1 gets pretty annoyed at ds2 sometimes, he'd like some private space. But hey ho, he'll live.

twinkletoedelephant · 28/09/2015 16:13

I had to share with my twin.... I have never had my own bedroom went from parents house to living with dh in house share. I hated sharing didn't want my children sharing so we're only going to have 2.... I had twins second time .. The boys manage as I did :-)

whatsagoodusername · 28/09/2015 16:13

I live in a 4 bed house with two children. They still share a room and will do so for many years to come.

There's nothing wrong with sharing rooms as a child.

Babyroobs · 28/09/2015 16:30

There's nothing wrong with it if they are similar ages and the same sex. My neighbours dd who is 12 is constantly telling me how awful it is to have to share with her 5 year old sister, she has no privacy and her sister trashes the room. Not all kids enjoy sharing.

BoskyCat · 28/09/2015 16:34

I think it depends on the kids really – their ages, sexes and what they are like. You may find at some point down the line that kids sharing a room aren't happy about it – obviously even then they may well have to lump it, but it may or may not suit them.

I have an older boy and younger girl – they can get on OK, but DS, like me is an introvert and can get very stressed by his little sister bugging him. Being able to go in his room and get away matters a lot to him. I remember sharing with my sister when we were preschoolers, but as I got older I also really valued having my own room. I realise we were lucky to have it, but still. It made a big difference to my happiness.

I also have a friend who has a 3-bed and for a long time she had her older girl and younger boy sharing, so that she could have a study/spare room. Finally aged about 8 and 11 they had really had enough and the girl was desperate for privacy being adolescent. Friend was persuaded to give them their own rooms in the end.

OTOH you could share for your entire childhood and love it - twins might do that for example.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 28/09/2015 16:34

I'd love to have a room per child but I don't think it matters at all.

Notcontent · 28/09/2015 16:35

Of course it's fine - and in any case, very few of us have ideal living conditions.

SilverDragonfly1 · 28/09/2015 16:37

I guess your sister really didn't like sharing a room? I hated it myself. But I don't resent my parents not moving to a four bed house just to accommodate my preferences either ;)

Pengweng · 28/09/2015 16:38

Your sister is a numpty. I live in a 3 bed house and have 2 kids (DT girls) who share a room. I have no intention of letting them have their own rooms and would only have separated them had they been BG twins.

MascaraAndConverse · 28/09/2015 16:38

She's being ridiculous!

Psycobabble · 28/09/2015 16:39

Of course the kids can share not everyone has the luxury of affording a 4 bed house or even a 3 for that matter

woodhill · 28/09/2015 16:39

Rubbish it's fine however I must admit our 2 dds shared but then ed got her own bedroom at 11 but nothing wrong with sharing

tbtc20 · 28/09/2015 16:44

2 bed house, 2 kids here. The 6 year old is still in the main room with me.
It works. We are all happy.

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