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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling school about child's behaviour (out of uniform) at park?

164 replies

ParkLifeShit · 26/09/2015 22:25

Name change as I've told a couple of friends about this and have no idea whether they are on here!

Reception age child was extremely unpleasant at the park. Pushed DS (3) multiple times down a high slide (an enclosed one like a water slide). Each time DS asked him to not push this time and he said he wouldn't. Then as DS neared the mouth of the slide, he pushed him (both hands) again. Resulted in DS being badly winded, very upset and unable to stand straight for well over an hour.

It wasn't an accident, I watched him (and told him off as he repeatedly did it). I told his mother what had happened and that I'd had to tell him off (she was on the other side of the park). She didn't seem that interested and certainly didn't tell him off as I would have done but I guess that's her choice.

As an infant school teacher, I would actually value this kind of information and would use it to talk to the children about their behaviour both in and outside of school.

However, I'm 8 months pregnant and therefore perhaps over-reacting. My heart was breaking for my DS as he asked so nicely for the boy to not push and kept trying to use the slide. But he's my first so maybe I'm being PFB?

So WIBU to tell the school that the boy goes to or just chalk it up to a bad experience?

OP posts:
TheTroubleWithAngels · 26/09/2015 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JawannaDrink · 26/09/2015 22:28

Of course YABU. Reception age in the UK is what, 4? You want to ring a school to tell tales to a teacher about the behaviour of a tiny child out of school? Why would anyone do that?

And what on earth has being pregnant got to do with being a bit of an arse? I never understand why people use that as an excuse on here.

Sirzy · 26/09/2015 22:28

If he was out of uniform how do you know what school he goes to?

School can't control what happens on a trip to the park outside of school time.

JawannaDrink · 26/09/2015 22:29

And unable to stand straight, for an hour? Come off it. Hmm

EeyoresTail · 26/09/2015 22:29

IMO it's nothing to do with his school and I can't see that it would be news to them as chances are he behaves the same way at school

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 26/09/2015 22:29

Do you know which school he goes to?

definiteissues · 26/09/2015 22:31

Yabu

Aeroflotgirl · 26/09/2015 22:31

No why the hell woukd you tell the school Confused, when the boy was out of uniform and accompanied by a parent! You told the parent, they did nothing, so chalk it up to bad experience and move on. Ding dwel on it, keep teach your ds to be polite and kind.

Original poster
ParkLifeShit · 26/09/2015 22:32

I used pregnancy to try and establish whether I was being reasonable. I find it makes me over emotional and more sensitive than normal. Thanks for your understanding there Hmm

I know what school he goes to because he went to the same nursery as DS.

Actually I think that a Reception age child ought to know (and behave) better than that, since I teach them. I don't expect them to tell that particular child off, but in their shoes would talk to the class about kindness etc.

Clearly I'm being unreasonable!! Fair enough Smile

OP posts:
sugar21 · 26/09/2015 22:33

So much disparity in your post op, it sounds ludicrous

TheTroubleWithAngels · 26/09/2015 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JawannaDrink · 26/09/2015 22:34

Does pregnancy make you meaner to small children? Hmm

Isn't it enough that you repeatedly told off a child that wasn't yours?

Permanentlyexhausted · 26/09/2015 22:39

YWBU to tell the school, yes. This is very minor if rather unkind misbehaviour, but I can't see how knowing about this specific incident would be helpful at all to the school. I'd be surprised if any teachers were unaware that this sort of thing goes on out of school so they could start a discussion without needing to hear about it.

I think you need to work on your authoritative voice. Are you an infant school teacher (can't work that out from your OP)? If so, surely you can tell a reception age child not to do something in such a way as they'll listen?

BitchBags · 26/09/2015 22:39

Bloody hell there's some nasty replies on here tonight!
Yanbu op. Your poor DS :( I hope he's ok.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/09/2015 22:40

Yes op had a right to tell off a child who hurt her young ds, especially when the mum was doing nothing. She also made the boys mum aware. That is where it should end.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 26/09/2015 22:42

Some nasty replies but in all honestly OP I'd leave it at that (although YANBU to be pissed off at your wee lad being hurt) going to the schoolight make you look like a fruit loop when it's just your prego hormones. Children can be so mean but there's no point going to his school Flowers

Original poster
ParkLifeShit · 26/09/2015 22:45

Thank you for some of the kind replies on here. I'll certainly leave it and not tell the school.

I can assure you that I don't need to work on my authoritative voice, but thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
multivac · 26/09/2015 22:45

"unable to stand straight for well over an hour"

I think you should be seeking medical help.

catfordbetty · 26/09/2015 22:47

I think telling the mother was the most you could have reasonably done. It's a pity she didn't take it seriously.

Original poster
ParkLifeShit · 26/09/2015 22:47

I did multi, thank you Smile

OP posts:
multivac · 26/09/2015 22:48

Good. What is the prognosis?

WeAllHaveWings · 26/09/2015 22:54

If that was my ds at 3 that child would not have pushed him multiple times to the point I thought it serious enough to report to his school , why on earth did you allow that to happen? Once ok, twice not, there wouldn't have been a third. You should have sorted it out or removed your ds from that situation.

Original poster
ParkLifeShit · 26/09/2015 22:55

Well, originally the GP thought that there was a possibility of a cracked rib (there's a high step to get into the slide that he hit on the last push) or internal bruising. I thought the latter at the most as would have been sobbing non-stop if a cracked rib or whatever.

After a couple of hours (sitting in traffic to get to minor injuries and then in the waiting room) he was able to stretch up high and touch his toes so after discussion with a nurse, we decided that it was probably severe winding and that he had panicked a bit. So all ok, thankfully.

And before anyone jumps at me for over-reacting, I took him to minor injuries because the GP told me to.

OP posts:
Hufflemother1 · 26/09/2015 22:56

I also agree that a 4yr old definitely knows that kind of behaviour is bad. It's also worrying that being told off by an adult that wasn't related to him, didn't stop him from being a bully.
YANBU for thinking of going to the school, I'm just not sure they would or could act on the information...

multivac · 26/09/2015 22:56

So, he was fine, then?