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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling school about child's behaviour (out of uniform) at park?

164 replies

ParkLifeShit · 26/09/2015 22:25

Name change as I've told a couple of friends about this and have no idea whether they are on here!

Reception age child was extremely unpleasant at the park. Pushed DS (3) multiple times down a high slide (an enclosed one like a water slide). Each time DS asked him to not push this time and he said he wouldn't. Then as DS neared the mouth of the slide, he pushed him (both hands) again. Resulted in DS being badly winded, very upset and unable to stand straight for well over an hour.

It wasn't an accident, I watched him (and told him off as he repeatedly did it). I told his mother what had happened and that I'd had to tell him off (she was on the other side of the park). She didn't seem that interested and certainly didn't tell him off as I would have done but I guess that's her choice.

As an infant school teacher, I would actually value this kind of information and would use it to talk to the children about their behaviour both in and outside of school.

However, I'm 8 months pregnant and therefore perhaps over-reacting. My heart was breaking for my DS as he asked so nicely for the boy to not push and kept trying to use the slide. But he's my first so maybe I'm being PFB?

So WIBU to tell the school that the boy goes to or just chalk it up to a bad experience?

OP posts:
tryhard · 27/09/2015 09:58

Is no one else noticing the huge irony here that we are talking about bullying in the playground and look at the bullies out in force on this thread!

Aeroflotgirl · 27/09/2015 10:05

mrsG not really, that other mum parenting was lazy, her reaction to op telling her what happened says it all. I would have been mortified and apologise profusely.Not hypocritical at all. That don't care parenting whilst your child is beating the hell out of mine really annoys me.

ButtonMoon88 · 27/09/2015 10:11

tryhard spot on!

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 27/09/2015 10:14

Aeroflotgirl, again though, you don't know the whole situation. The parent maybe have been distracted by goodness knows what, you cannot assume she was a totally lack parent just looking for a snooze in the park whilst her son ran a small dictatotship from the slide.

No, from what the OP said the other parent did not do enough in this case, however you could also say the same of the OP 'not doing enough' to prevent her child needing to eventually go to the minor injuries clinic. She could see the child was not going to stop, yet seemed to make a point of keep going back to the slide. Would you you say thats lazy, or pig headed parenting?

wibbleywee · 27/09/2015 10:14

Senpai if I saw you grabbing my child by the wrists - gentle or not - I would be reporting you for assault. I cannot believe you think that would be an acceptable way to behave over 2 children pushing each other, absolutely disgusting.

Pigeonpost · 27/09/2015 10:20

Hideous thread, especially Multivac's replies. As others have said YANBU to tell the child off but YWBU to tell the school. Hope your DS is ok now.

Neddyteddy · 27/09/2015 10:25

My theory with the vipers is that they only come out in force if an OP touches a nerve. So in this thread the vipers are much like the passive parent who has little control over her child. In other threads - ones about healthy eating, vipers come out in force because their general diet is unhealthy

Aeroflotgirl · 27/09/2015 10:26

MrsG she might have been distracted etc, but if a parent had come to me and told me that my child had pushed her child very hard, he was hurt, I woukd be so mortified, I woukd be apologising and making my ds apologise to the little child, not do absolutely jack, in this case. If you know your child hurts, you watch them like a hawke.

TwatByName · 27/09/2015 10:26

Senpai if I saw you grabbing my child by the wrists - gentle or not - I would be reporting you for assault. I cannot believe you think that would be an acceptable way to behave over 2 children pushing each other, absolutely disgusting

Get over yourself.

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2015 10:30

After the third time I went straight to tell his mother what had happened and left the park shortly after

This is the bit I don't understand OP Confused

Your child was badly winded, very upset and unable to stand straight for well over an hour.

So how did you manage to go straight to the other side of the park, where you said the mother was?

Aeroflotgirl · 27/09/2015 10:31

Mabey op should have intervened earlier when she saw the boy push her SS the first time, at the end of the day, the boys mum was in the wrong for not watching her ds carefully and not doing anything, when op told her, her ds had pushed her ds very hard. Yes I think it has touched a nerve with a lot on here. My ds 3 is going through a hitting phase at the moment, learned I think from dd 8 how has ASD not staring and hitting her little brother. When in a park or situations where there are other kids about, I watch him like a Hawks.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 27/09/2015 10:32

That is a fair point, Aero, I'm sure many of us would have done the same. However, for whatever reason, the other parent in the case did not take her son off the slide to reprimand him. The op though still chose to let her son on the slide, knowing the other child would not stop his behaviour. Now, I'm not one for pandering to bad behaviour but this was not a battle that would be won. As I advised the OP, the best course would have been to walk away from this family and put it down to bad manners. There are always going to be children out there who's parents let them get away with 'assertive' behaviour. Sometimes just walking away is the best course - take away the chance for the other child to be bossy or agressive.

Neddyteddy · 27/09/2015 10:32

OP I think you did everything you could in the situation. The pushing happened very fast and you probably expected the boy to behave nicely after you'd spoken to him. It must have been a surprise that he continued. You both left the slide, which was a good course of action. Speaking to the ineffectual mother was appropriate.

Original poster
ParkLifeShit · 27/09/2015 10:34

Other side of the play park Worra. It was on the way out.

Enough now.

OP posts:
MrsGentlyBenevolent · 27/09/2015 10:36

Yes Worra, this is basically what I'm trying to allude to (didn't want to just point it out, or may get accused of 'bullying' the OP). Either the OP over reacted in how 'hurt' her son was, or she tried both telling the child off, and reporting to the mother, and still chose to let her son go on the slide until he was very winded. No denying the other family were not 'well behaved', but honestly sounds like the OP was determined her little boy was going to use that slide regardless. Wonder if the OP would be kind enough to clarify that point.

KourtneyK · 27/09/2015 10:41

Jesus, this thread is showing some people in a very poor light. I wonder what some of these posters were like as children!

Hope you're ok, OP. You seem to have your head screwed on. Wink

wibbleywee · 27/09/2015 10:45

Twatbyname
'Get over myself'??
So you would be happy if some random stranger grabbed your toddler by the wrists in a park just because he may have pushed your little princess??
Very much doubt it

JenaiBoom · 27/09/2015 10:46

YANBU, op. Teacher can do what they chose with the info but for the child's sake, I'd consider talking to their school.

There has been some prized knobheadery on the thread BTW. Every thread I've been on recently has featured a band of idiots piling in to give someone a kicking. Wtf is wrong with MN at the moment? Confused

parrotsummer · 27/09/2015 10:48

I don't condone trolling but lately there are a number of claims that the trolls are ruining Mumsnet.

I find some of the 'regulars' worse than trolls myself.

TwatByName · 27/09/2015 10:52

And you seriously call the police on that random?

Push my little princess? pffft Grin
Sounds more like you have the princess issueSmile

JenaiBoom · 27/09/2015 10:54

I know some of the responses I've read seem out of character, parrot

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2015 10:59

Enough now.

Fuck me. It was my first post on this thread Grin

Snakesandbastards · 27/09/2015 11:00

As its outside school it's not really appropriate, so no.

I'm sure the school already have his card marked! Grin

Original poster
ParkLifeShit · 27/09/2015 11:01

Sorry Worra, that bit wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed at the near constant bashing I've had. Only so much someone can take!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/09/2015 11:04

Oh, you could've told me that before I kicked myself in the teeth Shock Grin

But back to your OP.

No I wouldn't tell the school and I would perfect your 'Don't fuck with me' look and loud, firm voice if this ever happens again.

Hope your child is feeling better.

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