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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel sorry for myself?

202 replies

Toostressedtobeblessed · 24/09/2015 23:30

It was my birthday meal yesterday eve and my two best friends came to celebrate it with me. It was a nice eve and I'm really glad they came...

They then stayed over at mine and this morning my work had a family fun day type event. I had to get up at ridiculous o clock to get there (6ish) and the plan was they'd come to the event itself (a sports day type thing). In fairness to them it was in a big park that they'd not been to before and apparently they got on the wrong tube!

But they ended up being almost two hours late! They missed the main event (a big run) but we had a couple of hours together after. They were really apologetic but I'm so upset, I was looking forward to them kind of "representing" me there and introducing them to all my work friends but feel really let down and sad Sad

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:03

I just feel like she has no respect for my time! She's always full of empty apologies and its starting to grate really.

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NameChange30 · 25/09/2015 00:03

Forgive me if I'm reading too much into this... Is part of the reason you're upset that colleagues had family there and you didn't? Were you hoping your friends would fill that gap? If so that would explain how disappointed you feel that they were late.

Also if one of your friends is often late, I can understand the frustration, but surely you know to expect that now?

VimFuego101 · 25/09/2015 00:05

I think you need to spend a couple of days calming down before you speak to them in case you say something you regret. It sounds like a genuine mistake.

Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:05

We have started a class together in my area (it's quite a lot longer for her to travel to but she has lots of free time at the mo and wanted to do it) and she keeps missing it by arriving 5 minutes too late! She always waits for me so we can get food or something after but how rude is that?

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NameChange30 · 25/09/2015 00:06

I'm also thinking if one friend is always late, it would have been very difficult for the other friend to make sure they arrived on time, even if she (?) wanted to. Which one sent you the thank you text?

Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:06

Emma - I guess so, yes. They're my closest friends and they mean the world to me. It's been a really hard couple of months settling in and I just feel like it would have been great if they could have supported me today

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:07

The late friend sent me the thank you text. I'm not going to reply, too angry. I'm closer to her than I am to the other friend

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:09

To be fair to the late friend she is genuinely apologetic when she kisses the class and seems very angry st herself considering she's pre paid. I don't think it's intentional. She also makes it up to me after

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Princerocks · 25/09/2015 00:09

It sounds like your friends do a lot for you. They went out for your birthday, stayed over, attended a work event, go to a class in your area and goodness knows what else. They sound like good friends.

NameChange30 · 25/09/2015 00:09

Ok just read your last post... It sounds like this person has issues with punctuality and she probably does it to everyone, not just you. So you should try not to take it personally. However, you sound very annoyed with her so maybe you should take a step back from the friendship. It can't be good for either of you for you to be so annoyed with her.

Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:09

misses the class !!!!!

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:12

She's always had issues with punctuality. She's not always late and us better than she used to be. And she's very apologetic after. But I used to find it charming and quirky, now it just makes me angry

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NameChange30 · 25/09/2015 00:12

You sound demanding and difficult tbh. I get that it's been a difficult time for you, but you shouldn't take it out on your friends. They have been supporting you! If you're this angry with them you might push them away, and then you won't have any support at all. Maybe try becoming more self sufficient or building other relationships so you don't get so upset about the small things.

Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:14

what is the best way of letting them know I'm upset ??

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:15

That's a bit unkind emma, I'm a good friend to them! I have always been there for them and don't feel that they are for me Sad

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NameChange30 · 25/09/2015 00:20

Maybe it is a bit unkind, but you asked the question and keep arguing with the replies, that seems difficult to me. They did support you but that's not enough for you, so I think you are being quite demanding. Maybe you should do less for them if you feel it's not reciprocated. But mainly I think you seem determined to be angry when your friend apologised and even sent a nice text, that seems unforgiving to me. Maybe it's the way you've described it, maybe this friend has let you down many times in the past, but from what you've actually told us about this particular event, it doesn't seem like the crime of the century. I would follow a PP's advice and calm down before telling them you're upset. Maybe sleep on it?

AbbyCadabra · 25/09/2015 00:36

They spent time with you on your birthday. They apologised for missing the event and sent thank you texts. One of them "always makes it up to me after" when she's been late and missed her own class.

Keep up the sulking. You soon won't have any friends left to moan about.

Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:37

Ok thanks Emma, appreciate your advice - will sleep on it xx

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:39

Ok Abby thanks, I was only saying that stuff to paint a balanced picture... No ones perfect, sorry I got stressed

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:41

theyre both very close and sometimes I feel a bit left out of their little pair, I know I should grow up but u can't help but feel they maybe dud it on purpose?

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Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:42

Sorry for typos am on phone, that should say I and did

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Morro · 25/09/2015 00:55

You've blown this all completely out of proportion and need to get a grip. Your friends have already apologised, why do you need to reiterate how upset you are?
You had a lovely time with them for your birthday, very rude and demanding to then get arsey with them over a mistake!

Original poster
Toostressedtobeblessed · 25/09/2015 00:59

Morro, I haven't told them yet though

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Morro · 25/09/2015 01:05

If you're this disproportionately angry, they will have noticed for sure.

NerrSnerr · 25/09/2015 01:34

You really need to calm down. They apologised, they did make it in the end. You sound like you're about 14 years old.