Am I being a bitch for insisting I have the day off over my colleague?

[slowdancinginaburningroom]

So we got our holidays for the year starting this month.

My colleague hate his job and has pretty much used up his entire holiday to be off for this month (as I'm pretty sure he wants to leave)

I managed to book this Friday off - the first week day off this month.

I've got a meeting with a career councillor and I've booked a hair appointment.

My colleague has informed me that he is having tomorrow off to go with his girlfriend to have an abortion and that he wants Friday off too - as he wants to be with her.

Am I being selfish? I used that day as he had taken every other day off in September.

He is off today as well and sent me a text saying - I'm sorry that you might have to cancel your day off.

lougle It's one thing to cancel everyone's leave, or the leave of everyone concerned in a particular project, because of a last minute emergency - needs must, all hands on deck, etc, etc.

It's quite another to cancel A's leave because of B's private problems. That's hopelessly bad management. And if you do it because you are, for example, preferring child-carers to non-child-carers, it's indirect age and gender discrimination and you deserve to be taken on a trip to the cleaner via the Employment Tribunal.

OP Please tell your fans how it all ended up!

stick to your plans op, you have no responsibility to the consequences of his life. Unless it is a late abortion or there are complications after then she will be ok on her own for the time he is at work, she is likely to want to sleep if its under general, if not then it is going to be an emotional time but surely she will have someone else she could have sit with her for the few hours he has to work. perhaps he could negotiate a later start and earlier finish in lieu of a lunch break or working from home that day? his problem though to sort out not for you to feel guilt. Go ahead with your plans.

oops late to the party

"I suppose the OP won't find out until Monday if the disappearing man turned up or not"

Well, the most important thing is that we hope she didn't get a phone call asking her to come in today as he had taken the day off anyway (either as leave, a sickie or compassionate leave).

I hope she had taken the Collective Advice of MN and turned off her phone or filtered calls.

Did you keep your day off op?

Yeah let us know how it went !

Place marking.

I've had similar experiences to a previous poster when younger who took advantage of me and got AL days wrong then guilt tripped me into giving up (not booked abroad etc) holiday.

Now I just take AL as and when despite what anyone else has on. Am in larger company now, next week we have half day training and I'm also on holiday for a week from the Thursday. I've got an interview for the half day (can't rearrange) but others have offered to take notes on training for me. I did get asked by a colleague as to who'd cover my work whilst I was on AL but we have a part time legal sec, 2 other secs and a HR manager, if they can't sort out cover between them (in my old much smaller office we got a temp in) then that's not my problem, my AL was planned and approved and plenty of notice given.

I am also a bit [shocked] and re the abortion story and though OP believes it, it really isn't her problem. I had an abortion many years ago, stayed home after the op itself and took the next day or two off work as directed by my boss. Certainly didn't require anyone to be around but I was living with parents (17) so my mum must've kept an eye on me.

So???

We would love an update OP. Hope it all turned out fine

Your leave, his problem, not yours
I went through a medical termination at home alone, two drives there and back 6hrs apart and then everything else at home. She will be fine

I'm still waiting for the update. I clearly have no life.

It would have been nice. The OP owes us nothing really. But we have to move on. We need closure....

OP has blocked all of October off work, in revenge against her very uncollegiate workmate and her useless manager.

dying to know how this all panned out......

My guess is that OP didn't cave to coworker, but that he called in sick, she got a request from her boss to cover and she went in to work.

I hope she took the day off.

I clearly have no life and need to know,what happened.