Homework: AIBU to think a 5 year old should not be punished for not doing it?

[TheOriginalMerylStrop]

I have 3 primary aged kids.

I do not agree with young children doing homework for a plethora of reasons, not least that they are at school enough and there is a need for other sorts of learning (like play!) out of school time. My kids all work really hard at school, doing well, and the eldest is Head Boy (massive not stealth boast).

The school is generally understanding of my position and most of the teachers say things like "we only set it because so many parents ask for it" . If they decide they want to do a piece of the homework we find the time and space to support them to do it. If not, we don't do it. So far, no problem.

My youngest in Y1 has been set some moderately uninteresting tasks that range from the meaninglessly easy to the unrealistic without significant parental input. He has no interest in doing it. We went away camping last weekend and had no time in any case.

But last night he was in tears because he had been told he would get a "red card" (and therefore lose his playtime) if he did not bring in this work. I asked him again this morning and he very clearly recounted what was said. I am asking other parents to see if they can confirm or not.

I have kept him off today as he is very pale and tired and has a temperature, but AIBU to think this is totally out of order on the teacher's part? And what should I do about it?

UPDATE:

I went to pick up my elder two from school (leaving actually rather poorly DS with his granny, big thanks to those who commented about how unreasonable I was for keeping him off, I'm happy with my own judgement on that one). DS teacher was at the door of her classroom and waved me over to ask how he was.

I took the opportunity to ask about the policy on homework and she clarified that it was not a red card (thankfully) but a red "dojo" (which is their complicated online house-points system) for homework handed in late. So not quite as punitive but still stick rather than carrot, and IMO a touch heavyhanded for year 1.

I said I didn't agree with Primary School-aged children and she said that was absolutely fine, she didn't particularly either but it had come to be expected. We have agreed that she won't send the worksheet stuff but she would send any "special project" stuff for DS to do if he wished.

Yaddddnbu. And punishing a 5 year old for not doing it is harsh. It's really not needed in Primary school and I'm none to keen on it in Secondary but I have to suck it up.

I'd ban it full stop if I had the chance.

Very interesting that the teacher is of the same view of you about homework OP!

I think a lot of teachers hate it.

Yanbu op. I hate homework for reception to year 4 - I did not enforce it, the children were not punished and are all doing well at school. Da started middle school in year 5 homework became necessary then and I helped, ds managed very well and is in top sets now in year 7.

It is not arrogance, I know how much my dc can handle, two are on the autistic spectrum and found school exhausting, homework was generally a step too far. Supporting school for me means ensuring my kids are happy and ready to learn when they are there.

Blind obedience has never sat well with me and my kids are similar but that does not mean poor or disruptive behaviour just working smart.

Op talk to the school - outline your concerns, see what they say.

Sorry just saw your update - sounds reasonable to me, good outcome

red dojo?

my kids have the dojo system, but never heard of coloured ones, they just get added or removed from the total!

and the thread about being punished for not reading was mine. :)
i went with my final thought and i wrote "WE READ EVERY NIGHT" and then this weeks book across this week in their planners in red pen.

Why on earth are all these teachers who don't believe in setting homework in KS1 still doing so? There is no requirement from Ofsted as far as I am aware and the evidence seems to suggest it isn't helpful.

If they're worried about parent pressure, can't they just send around a termly list of 'enrichment activities' for parents to do with their children if they want?

SLT pressure Irene.

I did used to get round it - lots of 'read a book' homeworks (this was secondary) but some schools are obsessed with it!

At my first shite school the headteacher said one briefing 'Parents do see lots of homework as a sign of a good school.' It's that myth that needs challenging, I think.

YANBU with any of it. Sod homework for five year olds. I don't like homework for Infant school children full stop. Apart from a reading book.

In my area, homework is normal from p1 (age 4-5). If it is not done (for a good reason) then the parent must write a note to explain, otherwise the child's name moves from the green to the amber. They stay there until the homework is submitted. I really don't like it, but as I said it is the norm here and any parents I speak to all support it, as do teachers that I know personally. I would love to be able to opt out, I really don't blame you! I am glad it seems to be sorted and I hope ds feels better soon.

Red dojos (at DC's school anyway) are for things that a child does that are "not ideal" behaviour. DS used to get them for not being sufficiently organised in the morning. I don't think they serve any purpose other than an indicator to the child/parent that there is something to be worked on. So in OP's case it's a flag that her child hasn't done his homework. As she knows this anyway, and doesn't care, it makes no odds. To other parents it might be a wake up call that they didn't know their child had got homework/it had got lost on the way to school etc etc.

At our school a green dojo is a plus point and a red dojo a minus point
and the kids get a reward - a fluffy pen! a novelty scented eraser! and house points for reaching a certain total. So it would be a deal to the kid too, or at least the kind of kid DS2 is.

Anyway I am pleased that 1. I am not entirely alone in my view about homework and 2. I have come to an agreement with school that doesn't seem to have put their noses out of joint

Ds1's class (school?) have started using dojos as well - I asked him today if they had red ones too, and he said yes - they're given out for things like "talking out of turn" (the most common offence, it appears, as they have a couple of children who can't stop themselves) and yes, they're -1 point. He's never mentioned them before, I only found out at all about the dojos a few weeks ago, so they seem more like house points than anything for the parents to know about.

They're not used for homework though - well the red ones aren't, don't know about the others, I only find out when DS1 gets lots at once and he tells me.

My thoughts on this subject:

1. If children are set homework, then regardless of whether the parents agree with it or not - it should be done. Blatant disregard of homework - even at five years old - starts a lapse attitude which will carry forward to later school years.

2. The school should really have spoken to you as the parent before implementing such a punishment - but the punishment should be carried out.

3. Whether children have x-amount of school hours each day is irrelevant - at five years old they are learning fast and need as much input and learning challenges as possible, at home as well as at school. School isn't the only place responsible for a child's education - it begins at home and ends at home.

4. I'm baffled by some parents opinion that five year old shouldn't be doing homework. It encourages the parents to get involved in shaping their child's education, shows the child that by their parent(s) helping with homework that it's something that is encouraged and more often than not helps children to improve their reading, maths and spelling because they are not just limited to school time.

I encourage my daughter to read and write as much as possible and I also print off little maths sheets for her to have a go at. It improves her mathematical skills and her confidence gets a boost because receiving praise from a teacher is one thing but receiving praise for getting something right from a parent is what children seek - praise and recognition.

Zombie thread

YANBU. And I speak both as parent and teacher. As a one-off, this should never have happened.

YANBU but you need to explain your position to the teacher. I sent a brief note in saying that we don't enforce homework but will support X and Y if they want to do it. Nothing more was said.

OP I haven't read all the posts but just wanted to say that where I am schools are starting surveys to ask parents their opinion of homework and how much / little they get, is it beneficial etc. A number of schools near us (not ours they like to give out lots of sometimes appropriate sometimes not homework) have actually scrapped it with the exception of reading.

YANBU

Some vicious responses on here. I agree with you TheOriginalMerylStrop
I'd initially take it up with the teacher myself and see what the outcome is. Senseless to punish a child for not doing homework, which I agree, from my own experience is of not practical or tangible use that I can see. There are numerous peer reviewed studies on the internet that question the efficacy of homework.

That's my two pence worth like it or not.

Also would add that the school my kids go to do not have a strict homework policy anyway.

I love the approach your school is taking, and the fact your children are doing brilliantly proves homework really doesn't make or break an education.

I would be slightly concerned though, that the sudden change from no homework in primary to the absolute ton they get from day one in secondary (and i believe every secondary requires homework and it isn't optional), might be a bit overwhelming if they don't work up to it? maybe around year 5 have them do 25% of what they bring home, and 50% for their final year of primary? They won't want to do, you'll both hate it, but the absolute panic they might face otherwise could be avoided.

Think yabu. Your children r doing v well- great. What about children who need reinforcement of homework but see ur child consistently not doing it with no implications, understandable to 5 yr old anyway? I really think there's a complete lack of recognising school as a community activity as well as obv including teaching individually directed to child.

By insisting on not doing homework ur also making teachers job harder, for no particular reason or benefit to anyone.

Your singling your child out again for no
real meaningful reason.

Also, you're displaying no support in front of ur child towards school, ur choice but not a great one.

Do u rese t schools influence on ur DC, their spending time away from u? Genuine question.

Like it or not ur DC r members of community, society as well as family and its a good thing for them to see that...