Homework: AIBU to think a 5 year old should not be punished for not doing it?

[TheOriginalMerylStrop]

I have 3 primary aged kids.

I do not agree with young children doing homework for a plethora of reasons, not least that they are at school enough and there is a need for other sorts of learning (like play!) out of school time. My kids all work really hard at school, doing well, and the eldest is Head Boy (massive not stealth boast).

The school is generally understanding of my position and most of the teachers say things like "we only set it because so many parents ask for it" . If they decide they want to do a piece of the homework we find the time and space to support them to do it. If not, we don't do it. So far, no problem.

My youngest in Y1 has been set some moderately uninteresting tasks that range from the meaninglessly easy to the unrealistic without significant parental input. He has no interest in doing it. We went away camping last weekend and had no time in any case.

But last night he was in tears because he had been told he would get a "red card" (and therefore lose his playtime) if he did not bring in this work. I asked him again this morning and he very clearly recounted what was said. I am asking other parents to see if they can confirm or not.

I have kept him off today as he is very pale and tired and has a temperature, but AIBU to think this is totally out of order on the teacher's part? And what should I do about it?

At DC's infants children who didn't do homework had to complete it at playtime. I always saw this not so much as punishment but keeping them on a level playing field with all the others!

Yabu
I can't stand this attitude. If you send your child to this school, you need to uphold this school's rules and standards. Even if they don't match your own ideals.
You are sending your son a terrible message IMO - that he's the boss, aged 5 and the teacher has no authority to ask him to complete homework.
Went camping all weekend? Get up half an hour earlier on Monday, complete the work. Support the poor teacher.

"How is your DS supposed to see if he wants to do his homework if you don't even show it to him?"

He brought it home, we didn't do it directly as he had something more important he wanted to do involving cardboard boxes and sticky tape. Thereafter he forgot about it. Because he's 5. And I was not going to continually chase him to do it, because it's not a priority. If he cam home fired up with enthusiasm about a project or something he wanted to explore then of course I would have responded to that. (It does happen)

Yanbu at all op.

And I agree with you, no need for homework at primary really. Def not in infants, once in yrs five and six it can be helpful to start doing more formal homework ready for high school but it's not essential.

Reading with the kids is something we do everyday anyway and the general learning that takes place just in daily life is plenty for little ones.

I have always given mine the option of doing the homework, sometimes they would be enthusiastic about a particular topic or project, other times they were too tired etc. It's not harmed their education in any way not completing homework in primary school.

Go and have a word with the teacher op and check what the home school agreement says with regards to homework.

I'm not making my 5 year old do homework either. We'll have a look at it together but I'm not battling a tired little boy to get it done.

Time after school is far better spent playing outside, reading with me, playing with siblings, helping me cook/bake (maths in action), investigating things that interest him etc. I don't need homework to know where he excels and struggles.

The beneficial effect of homework in primary school is slight at best in all the research, so I am not making it into an issue this year either.

The teacher has said that she completely agrees.

I don't care if I am That Parent. I am my DS's only mother and it is my job to do the best for him. At the moment, that means no fighting over homework.

God this must be another culture shock for me - homework from junior infants (ie reception) is totally normalised in Ireland and expected all the way through primary school, a little every evening except perhaps Friday.

The idea of asking a 5 year old or even an 8 year old if they 'want' to do their homework or not is ridiculous IMO.

I should add that we have done this because DH & I both love education and learning and we want DS to love it too, rather than giving him a bad start.

Neither of us can remember doing homework until much later in primary school, other than reading every day, and both have a decent set of degrees (even from the much loved on MN Russell Group universities!).

YANBU. At 5 your DS has no control over whether or not he does homework.

This from the Sutton Trust is very interesting on a number of educational articles of faith including Primary School homework.

Helpmeoutofthemaze I am fully supportive of the school in every other aspect. The policy is that homework is optional. And a camping weekend is more important, for our family, than homework.

Amy - useful perspective, also your point redsky. In this case it was deffo Red Card (ie deep shame) and a punishment, sadly, not a supportive learning opportunity.

Yanbu. At a recent key stage one meeting I sttended, even the parents if year twos were being told to just stick in a note if their child didn't/couldn't/wouldn't do homework, that it was very important not to stress about it.

Homework in primary is bollocks.

Yanbu.

Homework is a miserable invention. I believe there are statistics to suggest is a waste of time in primary school.

YANBU - particularly as you say it's not compulsory at your school. I think perhaps some posters may have missed that bit. Our school is like that. Homework is set but it's a bit lackadaisical. We mostly do it, sometimes it's not clear that it's been set and no deadline given, sometimes it's not set. Sometimes other things are happening. No one gets told off if it doesn't happen. I'd be pretty furious if my child was told off for not completing a non-compulsory task. And at five it's entirely inappropriate too since a five year doesn't have a whole lot of control over whether or not they complete a task. The teacher should have taken it up with you first.

And the posts about choosing that particular school? For a lot of people there is no choice of school. Some areas have lotteries for school places and others haven't even gotten into their catchment schools this year and have to go whether there is a place. Where is the choice?

And I don't understand what terrible things people think will happen if a child of five doesn't do homework. Children have to make all kinds of adjustments as they grow. It's ludicrous to say that if they don't start at five they'll be won't be able to cope.

"He brought it home, we didn't do it directly as he had something more important he wanted to do involving cardboard boxes and sticky tape. Thereafter he forgot about it."

This is not the same thing as what you initially said, which was: "I honestly don't think he knew he had any until he was told he might lose his playtime"

YABU. I strongly believe in homework (don't have primary aged children yet though). They will have to do homework sooner or later so they may as well start now.

I totally agree with helpme if you don't like the rules / expectations then you can change schools, home educate or whatever. Just another one of those parents who thinks they can do whatever they please and bugger the consequences.

Yabu and ridiculous, children need to do homework and as a parent you should be encouraging them to do it.

So if your boss suddenly started giving you stuff to do at home outside of work you'd be cool with that, would you?

School is not paid employment.

Am also a bit about 5 year olds being kept in at playtime. That break is really important physically and mentally.

"if your boss suddenly started giving you stuff to do at home outside of work you'd be cool with that, would you?"

Not that this has anything to do with homework, but RL work can and sometimes does go over office hours and yes, you either stay at work until it is done or bring it home with you.

School is not paid employment.

Nor is it a prison/military training camp.

You are totally missing the point.

Nor is it a prison/military training camp.

No, it's not. Are you suggesting that homework indicates an institution along the lines of a prison?

Not that this has anything to do with homework, but RL work can and sometimes does go over office hours and yes, you either stay at work until it is done or bring it home with you.

Exactly my point. Homework is over and above what needs to be done. So if your boss decides that you should start doing their stuff at home to support your daytime work (as opposed to completing unfinished tasks) would you expect your lunch break to be withdrawn and cups of tea banned unless you did it?

Do people really, genuinely believe that it is ok to punish a five year old, who would of had no say in the situation, for not completing a non-compulsory task? Really?

I'm responding to a particular point. These small children aren't minions. This system sounds completely and utterly bonkers.

Do people really, genuinely believe that it is ok to punish a five year old, who would of had no say in the situation, for not completing a non-compulsory task? Really?

Exactly!