Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I just a heartless cow-bag?!

388 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 15/09/2015 09:51

Okay so this is trivial but I am still pissed off and I need a good old rant about it.

Out at a gig last night, obviously a tense undercurrent between two of the people there who are a couple and live together. I'll call them Chris and Lisa.

I was trying to actually enjoy myself and listen to the bloody band sp I didn't want to get embroiled in it, they argue a lot and the tension is really obvious at times.

Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter, when it was time to leave she was nowhere to be found. Apparently though she had text Chris to say she was leaving us to it. Chris didn't seem bothered, the other member of the group (Dave) was getting concerned as she wouldn't answer her phone.

Now, she has serious form for flouncing off. Earlier this year she did it when we were abroad and informed us she was going to walk the five miles back to the hotel by herself along this little unlit road. Cue us all cutting short our night to get into a taxi and drive along until we found her.

The tube stop that would get her directly home was five minutes walk away, so I sent her a text to say text me when she got in. She didn't read it so I assumed it hadn't come through as she was on the tube. Anyway after about ten minutes Dave (whose own girlfriend couldn't make it as was ill at home in bed) gets a call to say she had been walking for ages and was in a strange part of town.

So I said, well she's obviously just trying to make a point now and get us all to worry about her. She didn't magic herself to a strange part of town, did she, when she could have just gone around the corner to the nearest station.

As I get up for work at 6am and it's now nearing midnight, I said I'd had enough. She wasn't drunk, she had money on her. I left her a voicemail to say get to the nearest station, or get a taxi if you have to, get home and drop me a text when you're there.

Anyway Chris is useless and is now drunk and says he's just going to go home. Dave says I'm being heartless and he's really worried about Lisa (he is now the only person she will answer the phone to as he's the only one indulging her at this point!) I said if he wants to go and get her that was up to him but she's perfectly capable and in my opinion acting really immaturely. During the course of this discussion (everywhere is shut now so we're just outside, and I just want to get home) she texts to say it's alright, she's on her way home but there are drunk people on the night bus and she feels vulnerable. I leave a message for Chris to meet her off the bus, which he apparently did. So Dave talks to her on the phone until she's back and texts me at 1:45am to say she's now back safely but he couldn't believe, as a 'fellow woman' that I'd been so bloody unsympathetic to her and how would I have liked to be in her shoes?!

Isn't it all a bit childish though, this flouncing off and expecting people to run around fretting and picking up the pieces? Or am I really just a crap mate?! we are all nearly thirty for God's sake!

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 24/09/2015 21:04

Wow. Her parents sound like fully paid-up enablers to me Shock

WhoTheFIsJeff · 24/09/2015 21:13

He needs to break up with her whilst she's not there.

rollonthesummer · 24/09/2015 21:52

He's under pressure from her parents though I think.

What??!

He needs to end this relationship now. What sort of life is it where you won't have sex with your partner because you're scared she'll try to get pregnant and when her parents are pressurising you to stay together? What right do any of them have to treat him like that?

She and her parents seems to see him as her meal ticket through life? Sounds like she needs a new cash cow.

I'd be helping him end it now whilst she isn't there if I were you.

Fizrim · 24/09/2015 22:01

Chris needs to get a grip of the situation here and lead from the front. She can only worm her way back in if he lets her.

Baconyum · 24/09/2015 22:53

I think what kickassangel says is spot on. He needs to get rid and make it clear why and clear to her parents enough is enough and she needs therapy.

I suspect the parents already know this and just don't want to face up to it.

I also suspect there's an element of truth to fluffyclouds post!

But then they raised her so they should put up or shut up!!

Jux · 25/09/2015 08:57

Can he move quickly while she's away? Or maybe put a deposit on something and stay with one of you guys until it's free?

It does sound like he needs to do something drastic like that. Block her number (you all need to do that) and any other numbers associated with her, parents etc. Block her on social networks, and everywhere else.

He needs to send her one very clear text - relationship is over, nothing to talk about, move on etc. If she or her parents do try to contact him or any of you, one more text saying the same thing and block.

You are all in this together, really, as you are close friends and you know you will have to help him and close ranks.

rainbowstardrops · 25/09/2015 14:03

If he's totally unhappy then I'd say NOW is the perfect time to break up with her. She's at her parents, so has support. I can't see things getting better to be honest.

Katiepoes · 25/09/2015 14:34

Break up with someone you live with - someone that appears to need help - by text? Really? That is disgusting behaviour and I cannot believe is being suggested. No matter what sort of drama queen this woman is she deserves better than that.

Fizrim · 25/09/2015 15:59

I do agree that a text is not a good idea. Would he go and see her at the weekend and speak to her face-to-face? If her parents get involved (they shouldn't really, but it sounds a possibility) then he just needs to stick to his point and not be derailed. Otherwise, he's just doing the same as she is! He really needs to sort it out himself.

rollonthesummer · 25/09/2015 17:52

It's going to a darn sight more difficult unpleasant to break up with her when she's back from her parents and on the house! She might just refuse. Change the locks and take her stuff yo her parents!

CloakAndJagger · 25/09/2015 18:20

I think he needs to call her, or go up to see her in person and say that it's over and explain why it's over. The less it's dragged out, the less opportunity for histrionics.

Saying from the off that he's expecting her to do something dramatic may well stop her in her tracks. No one likes to have things pointed out like that.

Fyaral · 26/09/2015 22:53

Can he drive down with all her stuff? Maybe hire a van?

Squishyeyeballs · 03/10/2015 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page