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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I just a heartless cow-bag?!

388 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 15/09/2015 09:51

Okay so this is trivial but I am still pissed off and I need a good old rant about it.

Out at a gig last night, obviously a tense undercurrent between two of the people there who are a couple and live together. I'll call them Chris and Lisa.

I was trying to actually enjoy myself and listen to the bloody band sp I didn't want to get embroiled in it, they argue a lot and the tension is really obvious at times.

Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter, when it was time to leave she was nowhere to be found. Apparently though she had text Chris to say she was leaving us to it. Chris didn't seem bothered, the other member of the group (Dave) was getting concerned as she wouldn't answer her phone.

Now, she has serious form for flouncing off. Earlier this year she did it when we were abroad and informed us she was going to walk the five miles back to the hotel by herself along this little unlit road. Cue us all cutting short our night to get into a taxi and drive along until we found her.

The tube stop that would get her directly home was five minutes walk away, so I sent her a text to say text me when she got in. She didn't read it so I assumed it hadn't come through as she was on the tube. Anyway after about ten minutes Dave (whose own girlfriend couldn't make it as was ill at home in bed) gets a call to say she had been walking for ages and was in a strange part of town.

So I said, well she's obviously just trying to make a point now and get us all to worry about her. She didn't magic herself to a strange part of town, did she, when she could have just gone around the corner to the nearest station.

As I get up for work at 6am and it's now nearing midnight, I said I'd had enough. She wasn't drunk, she had money on her. I left her a voicemail to say get to the nearest station, or get a taxi if you have to, get home and drop me a text when you're there.

Anyway Chris is useless and is now drunk and says he's just going to go home. Dave says I'm being heartless and he's really worried about Lisa (he is now the only person she will answer the phone to as he's the only one indulging her at this point!) I said if he wants to go and get her that was up to him but she's perfectly capable and in my opinion acting really immaturely. During the course of this discussion (everywhere is shut now so we're just outside, and I just want to get home) she texts to say it's alright, she's on her way home but there are drunk people on the night bus and she feels vulnerable. I leave a message for Chris to meet her off the bus, which he apparently did. So Dave talks to her on the phone until she's back and texts me at 1:45am to say she's now back safely but he couldn't believe, as a 'fellow woman' that I'd been so bloody unsympathetic to her and how would I have liked to be in her shoes?!

Isn't it all a bit childish though, this flouncing off and expecting people to run around fretting and picking up the pieces? Or am I really just a crap mate?! we are all nearly thirty for God's sake!

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 21/09/2015 12:52

I think (hope) he is planning on getting her to go home so her parents can deal with the fallout if he breaks up with her. He already pays all the rent on my he flat they share on his own anyway! She is recovering on the sofa at the moment apparently and he's offered to buy her a train ticket home for tomorrow. I'm meeting him for a drink on Wednesday evening. He sounds at a loss of what to do for the best at the moment! But I don't think he wants to be with her anymore. He's such a nice guy and apart from the odd drama when we were all a bit younger (getting her own from a nightclub at uni for example when she was visiting Chris, she would more often than not cry in the loos or on the curb and getting her back was a proper mission!) she hasn't always been this bad, but we didn't see so much of her before she moved to London last year.

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 21/09/2015 12:54

Sorry, I meant getting her home from a nightclub! A twenty minute walk could take the best part of two hours!

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 21/09/2015 12:57

Also, they broke up for a good few years when we were in our mid twenties as Chris went to work in Australia, but seemed to appear in the scene again as soon as he was back.

OP posts:
kickassangel · 21/09/2015 13:00

See, I do actually know people who went to A&E for a hangover - but they WERE seen by doctors, put on a drip, and kept in for 24 hours, so they really WERE dehydrated.

Being sent home with a 'see your GP' is doctor talk for time wasters.

rainbowstardrops · 21/09/2015 13:33

Blimey she really does have some issues here.
Hope she's 'well enough' to travel to see her parents because Chris sounds like he's had enough.
Wonder why she's like it?

Roussette · 21/09/2015 13:54

I hate it when people berate the NHS over nothing. Just drink water you stupid woman! If you can't keep it down because of a hangover, just wait until you can!

She sounds an absolute 'mare! Why is Dave so nice to her? If I were Anna I would be getting a tad pissed off at his drippiness.

Bogeyface · 21/09/2015 14:31

Tbh it sounds to me like she knows that things are heading for a break up with Chris so she is trying every single desperate trick she knows to prove that he cant possibly dump her as she "needs" him.

Sadly, if he does finish with her I think things will get worse before they get better.....

Atenco · 22/09/2015 03:30

At this stage I am starting to feel sorry for her. She must be seriously miserable. Not your fault, or Chris', more something that only she can solve.

LaContessaDiPlump · 22/09/2015 06:17

Yes, I thought that too Atenco...

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 22/09/2015 08:25

Good grief she sounds a very silly, attention seeking nightmare.
Let's hope he dumps her asap. He sounds lovely and life's too short to waste on people like this awful creature.

CoraPirbright · 22/09/2015 11:18

Agreed, Thatsnotmyrabbit. Let's hope she doesn't pull out a fake "you can't dump me - I'm pregnant" trump card.

SpringTown46 · 22/09/2015 13:20

I think she does sound ill actually, but not in the physical sense. Is there nobody who could have a kind and discrete word, along the lines that she seems unhappy, or not quite herself, and perhaps a GP check-up might be a good idea?

giraffesCantDoThat · 22/09/2015 13:42

Nightmare

Awadebumbo · 22/09/2015 14:11

Ti have nothing further to add other than thank you all for making me laugh like a loon. Mad hatter you are a better person than I as I would have verbally dragged her over the coals and refused to have anything to do with her at before this. But I am an utterly heartless cow with no time for attention seekers.

Squishyeyeballs · 22/09/2015 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadHattersWineParty · 22/09/2015 15:14

Thanks Awade! And Squishy I intend to tell him exactly that. It's great advice! I've been quiet as apart from the site being down due so long yesterday there's another thread going at the moment that says I might be bridge dwelling creature and this is fabricated (I'm not and it isn't) it seems like if you update an ongoing situation on your own thread, at some point you get accused of it not being true!

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/09/2015 18:52

Don't worry about it Hatters, there've been so many troll threads lately, that anything vaguely interesting is being questioned. Try not to take it personally. Everyone has a touch of paranoia :)

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/09/2015 18:55

I may have to change my name to FuckYouLisaAndThatHorse :o

tiredvommachine · 23/09/2015 11:06

Looking forward to tonight's update.
Squeeeee!

SurlyValentine · 23/09/2015 11:33

Just read the whole thread and have gone from thinking Lisa is a silly attention-seeking womanchild, to thinking she has some deep-rooted issues and she needs some therapy and/or counselling.

If Chris wants out of the relationship, he needs to do it sooner rather than later. Did Lisa go to her parents' yesterday?

You and Anna sound great - I wanna be in your gang! Grin

rainbowstardrops · 23/09/2015 12:38

Was Lisa well enough to travel? Wink

giraffesCantDoThat · 23/09/2015 12:56

I have met plenty people like this. Totally believe you!

MadHattersWineParty · 23/09/2015 13:02

Surly come join our gang! FuckYouChris Grin

Yes, Lisa had just about recovered enough to travel as of yesterday. She posted a selfie of herself snuggled under a blanket on the train with a sad/ill face.

I am going to the pub with Chris tonight. I think Dave is under strict instructions from his girlfriend to stay out of it on Lisa's side but I hope he can be there for Chris.

OP posts:
MostlyFine · 23/09/2015 14:47

Wow. Just.... Wow.

ElBandito · 23/09/2015 16:22

OPs can't win. If they update they're trolls. If they don't their threads get full of whining posts complaining that they haven't updated.