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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I just a heartless cow-bag?!

388 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 15/09/2015 09:51

Okay so this is trivial but I am still pissed off and I need a good old rant about it.

Out at a gig last night, obviously a tense undercurrent between two of the people there who are a couple and live together. I'll call them Chris and Lisa.

I was trying to actually enjoy myself and listen to the bloody band sp I didn't want to get embroiled in it, they argue a lot and the tension is really obvious at times.

Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter, when it was time to leave she was nowhere to be found. Apparently though she had text Chris to say she was leaving us to it. Chris didn't seem bothered, the other member of the group (Dave) was getting concerned as she wouldn't answer her phone.

Now, she has serious form for flouncing off. Earlier this year she did it when we were abroad and informed us she was going to walk the five miles back to the hotel by herself along this little unlit road. Cue us all cutting short our night to get into a taxi and drive along until we found her.

The tube stop that would get her directly home was five minutes walk away, so I sent her a text to say text me when she got in. She didn't read it so I assumed it hadn't come through as she was on the tube. Anyway after about ten minutes Dave (whose own girlfriend couldn't make it as was ill at home in bed) gets a call to say she had been walking for ages and was in a strange part of town.

So I said, well she's obviously just trying to make a point now and get us all to worry about her. She didn't magic herself to a strange part of town, did she, when she could have just gone around the corner to the nearest station.

As I get up for work at 6am and it's now nearing midnight, I said I'd had enough. She wasn't drunk, she had money on her. I left her a voicemail to say get to the nearest station, or get a taxi if you have to, get home and drop me a text when you're there.

Anyway Chris is useless and is now drunk and says he's just going to go home. Dave says I'm being heartless and he's really worried about Lisa (he is now the only person she will answer the phone to as he's the only one indulging her at this point!) I said if he wants to go and get her that was up to him but she's perfectly capable and in my opinion acting really immaturely. During the course of this discussion (everywhere is shut now so we're just outside, and I just want to get home) she texts to say it's alright, she's on her way home but there are drunk people on the night bus and she feels vulnerable. I leave a message for Chris to meet her off the bus, which he apparently did. So Dave talks to her on the phone until she's back and texts me at 1:45am to say she's now back safely but he couldn't believe, as a 'fellow woman' that I'd been so bloody unsympathetic to her and how would I have liked to be in her shoes?!

Isn't it all a bit childish though, this flouncing off and expecting people to run around fretting and picking up the pieces? Or am I really just a crap mate?! we are all nearly thirty for God's sake!

OP posts:
Pennybun4 · 20/09/2015 13:01

And why would Lisa be in the photos, the party was for Dave not her. Especially if she couldn't arsed to stay the course.

MummaV · 20/09/2015 13:05

So I've just sat and read all of this, I'm amazed any of you have put up with this for so long!
Seeing as she thinks you don't give a shit anyway I'd sit her down and tell her to grow up and get a grip. She needs to stop being a drama llama if she wants to keep her friends and someone needs to tell her.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 20/09/2015 13:49

Any more evenings planned OP? 'the Lisa Blog' has us all hooked !!
Honestly do you think she might have a personality disorder?

rainbowstardrops · 20/09/2015 14:18

Go Anna!!!!!
Without a doubt, if Anna hadn't been there then Lisa would have flounced again!!!
Do all you other guys have to stay friends with her???
She sounds a total pita and way too much effort to be honest.
Hope Dave enjoyed his party Smile

Cornettoninja · 20/09/2015 14:20

She's definitely hard work. I struggle between sympathy and massive irritation with people like this. They're their own worst enemy creating a cycle of 'why's everyone so meeaaannnn to me' whilst pissing people off.

You'd be doing her a massive favour to point out that she's making it difficult to enjoy her company when she behaves like this (why would anyone be posting pictures of her moody mug at a party - that'd look worse surely?), and that if she needs support with something waiting till there's an audience isn't normal adult behaviour.

I disagree she's got a thing for Dave although I reckon he's got a soft spot for her which she's clearly picked up on and is revelling in.

I suppose it's not socially acceptable to tell her bf to keep her contact with the group to a minimum till she understands the attention seeking has to stop?

I'm willing to bet money her behaviour would improve if she stopped drinking as well.

ephemeralfairy · 20/09/2015 14:51

You and Anna sound great OP! Ditch Lisa, I'll be in your gang!! Grin

MadHattersWineParty · 20/09/2015 15:08

Well something is going on.....

Her Facebook status showed she has just checked in at A&E !!

Now call me cynical but I had a sneaking suspicion she might do alive thing wise to get some attention today as she was clearly left dissatisfied by her treatment last night!

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 20/09/2015 15:09

*argh bloody auto correct! Meant to just say had a feeling she might do something today to garner some attention!

OP posts:
FoxesSitOnBoxes · 20/09/2015 15:12

Shock she's AWFUL! How long until she gets the first "R U OK hun?" In response?....
She's a dick.
Well played last night though. If everyone ignores this little display then maybe she will start to realise she isn't getting everyone's attention.... hopefully

kickassangel · 20/09/2015 15:20

OK - definitely unstable. IF she can't hold down a job and has to go to A&E to play out her little temper tantrum, then she probably does need medical help because that is really at the far end of crazy manipulative. Do you think that Chris is on the verge of dumping her and this is her way to deflect it, or is she REALLY so upset that no-one ran into the night after her that she has to do this?

Calling uber was a piece of genius, though!

Cornettoninja · 20/09/2015 15:23

So she's just put a&e but no inkling whether it's a fractured little finger or SARS?Hmm that's actually cruel to people who care about her...

Sounds like a case of the num nums to me....

rainbowstardrops · 20/09/2015 15:32

I just keep finding myself saying 'Noooooo!' actually out loud with a Shock face!!!!!
I'm wavering now between feeling totally gobsmacked by her and actually worrying that she really does have some MH issue going on. Maybe it's all a cry for help?
I don't think Dave fancies her and she probably doesn't fancy him but just craves the attention.
Oh and she's obvioudly not that ill if she's able to post on FB that she's in A&E!

BrienneofQarth · 20/09/2015 15:38

Bloody hell, this is the thread that just keeps giving! What a nutter!

not place marking, no, not at all

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/09/2015 16:41

A hugely satisfying update :o

She wasn't happy not to be the centre of attention. You all let her down by not supporting her in complaining about feeling unsafe when she'd gone to somewhere she would feel unsafe. This clearly indicates you would be happy to see her dead. And now she might die!

I hope she is ok. But after crying wolf so many times, she shouldn't be surprised that people don't come running to her aid.

magicstar1 · 20/09/2015 16:55

Bet she's going to claim her drink was spiked last night. That's why she went home, and none of you cared. Her poor boyfriend!

VivienneO · 20/09/2015 16:59

Superb.

MadHattersWineParty · 20/09/2015 17:02

She's there because apparently she 'can't stop being sick' and is getting dehydrated. magicstar she actually has told Chris that she was worried she drank something dodgy last night!

It's called a bad hangover love Grin

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 20/09/2015 17:04

Dear oh dear she really is an all out attention seeking drama llama isn't she?

Cornettoninja · 20/09/2015 17:07

I was watching with a vague sense of guilt wondering if I'd been unfair - but nope.

W(ho)tf actually goes to a&e for vomiting? For less than 24 hours? After doing successive jägerbombs the night before?

No, no sweetheart you carry on, there's no one else using the nhs at the moment, I'm sure they'll be glad of something to do.

Trills · 20/09/2015 17:11

that's actually cruel to people who care about her...

yup

FantasticButtocks · 20/09/2015 17:14

She's taken herself to a&e and put it on Facebook? Shock Shock God, she's hardcore in the attention seeking stakes, isn't she? Has anyone 'liked' her post?

MadHattersWineParty · 20/09/2015 17:17

Ha, no likes but a few 'are you ok' type posts. She's posted 'so sick' with a vomit emoticon thingy and has complained that she's been waiting to be seen for three hours now!

OP posts:
FantasticButtocks · 20/09/2015 17:22

She's not making good choices at the moment is she? First, wandering off into a danger zone instead of getting the tube home, and now being ill in the waiting area of a and e, possibly for hours, (how grim) instead of at home on a nice comfy sofa with a blanket. She is her own worst enemy.

FantasticButtocks · 20/09/2015 17:28

Also sulking at the party, leaving early and then missing out on being in the photos. Oh dear. I'm starting to feel sorry for her now. She's convinced herself no one cares about her. Her negative attitude is spiralling. Soon it's going to become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Sad Perhaps she actually needs counselling to help her change her unhelpful thinking tendencies. She is sabotaging her own life. Making herself difficult to like.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 20/09/2015 17:28

she has just checked in at A&E

That'll be for the bruised ego Wink