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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I just a heartless cow-bag?!

388 replies

MadHattersWineParty · 15/09/2015 09:51

Okay so this is trivial but I am still pissed off and I need a good old rant about it.

Out at a gig last night, obviously a tense undercurrent between two of the people there who are a couple and live together. I'll call them Chris and Lisa.

I was trying to actually enjoy myself and listen to the bloody band sp I didn't want to get embroiled in it, they argue a lot and the tension is really obvious at times.

Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter, when it was time to leave she was nowhere to be found. Apparently though she had text Chris to say she was leaving us to it. Chris didn't seem bothered, the other member of the group (Dave) was getting concerned as she wouldn't answer her phone.

Now, she has serious form for flouncing off. Earlier this year she did it when we were abroad and informed us she was going to walk the five miles back to the hotel by herself along this little unlit road. Cue us all cutting short our night to get into a taxi and drive along until we found her.

The tube stop that would get her directly home was five minutes walk away, so I sent her a text to say text me when she got in. She didn't read it so I assumed it hadn't come through as she was on the tube. Anyway after about ten minutes Dave (whose own girlfriend couldn't make it as was ill at home in bed) gets a call to say she had been walking for ages and was in a strange part of town.

So I said, well she's obviously just trying to make a point now and get us all to worry about her. She didn't magic herself to a strange part of town, did she, when she could have just gone around the corner to the nearest station.

As I get up for work at 6am and it's now nearing midnight, I said I'd had enough. She wasn't drunk, she had money on her. I left her a voicemail to say get to the nearest station, or get a taxi if you have to, get home and drop me a text when you're there.

Anyway Chris is useless and is now drunk and says he's just going to go home. Dave says I'm being heartless and he's really worried about Lisa (he is now the only person she will answer the phone to as he's the only one indulging her at this point!) I said if he wants to go and get her that was up to him but she's perfectly capable and in my opinion acting really immaturely. During the course of this discussion (everywhere is shut now so we're just outside, and I just want to get home) she texts to say it's alright, she's on her way home but there are drunk people on the night bus and she feels vulnerable. I leave a message for Chris to meet her off the bus, which he apparently did. So Dave talks to her on the phone until she's back and texts me at 1:45am to say she's now back safely but he couldn't believe, as a 'fellow woman' that I'd been so bloody unsympathetic to her and how would I have liked to be in her shoes?!

Isn't it all a bit childish though, this flouncing off and expecting people to run around fretting and picking up the pieces? Or am I really just a crap mate?! we are all nearly thirty for God's sake!

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 20/09/2015 17:38

Uber. Join up. Refer her, get yourself some free credit. Next time just remind her and Dave she has Uber.
Doesn't have cash on her. Not a problem.
Every single time. Oh well get yourself an uber.

InimitableJeeves · 20/09/2015 17:44

Goodness, who posts Facebook statuses saying that they've checked in at A&E? It is after all meant to be for situations where you've had an accident or emergency, and for most people updating your FB status in that situation isn't your first priority.

dustarr73 · 20/09/2015 17:49

Just checked in to A & E Its not a fucking hotel.She is in for some shock if she expects attention in there.

MrsJorahMormont · 20/09/2015 17:49

I actually pity the fool. She's her own worst enemy. Glad she didn't ruin the night out though.

I hope eventually someone is able to kindly point her behaviour out to her - someone she will listen to. She might be able to get on with life then instead of sabotaging it!

rollonthesummer · 20/09/2015 17:52

Can't see them splitting up though, she moved to London to be with him and he foots most of their bills and expenses as she drops in and out of various jobs as she can't seem to cope in the workplace very well, someone or other is always 'picking on her'.

That sounds exactly why they should split up? Had she always been this bad or is this a new thing?

Tell us more about Chris! Why wouldn't he dump her and find a nice girlfriend? I can see why she wouldn't split up with him if he's bankrolling her, but not vice versa!

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/09/2015 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoTheFIsJeff · 20/09/2015 18:20

Put something like 'I'm not sure a hangover is an appropriate use of a&e's time and resources'.

FFS she's a nightmare!

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/09/2015 19:06

Post "Yeah, I've had hangovers like that too"

I bet the medics are rolling their eyes over her. I wonder how much a visit to a&e costs the nhs. I bet it's a couple of hundred quid.

DoJo · 20/09/2015 19:22

'I don't think A & E have an antidote to Jaeger Bombs - maybe they're taking so long because they're hoping you'll take your hangover home and let them deal with people who are actually ill.'

I would be seriously pissed off with her for all her antics to date, but wasting time in A and E when she's got a hangover is really taking the piss. Can MN organise an intervention for Chris?

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/09/2015 20:04

Obviously an amateur if she doesn't have a full stock of ranitidine and alka seltzer in the cupboard.

Young people eh?.

Baconyum · 20/09/2015 20:17

Mildly amusing,very annoying now I'm absolutely furious with her! Wasting valuable resources needed by people far worse off.

PLEASE put on her fb

"You are possibly ill but not in a way a&e can help. Stop using valuable resources needed by people having eg heart attacks, injured in car accidents etc. Go home and go to gp tomorrow and get referred for counselling as your behaviour is not normal and needs addressing."

IAmNotAMindReader · 20/09/2015 21:24

If she's incredibly stupid or is looking for a way out of the friendship group to look for another group to leach from she may accuse one of your group of spiking her drinks.

She'll make the apparent lack of concern into one of you lot obviously thinks its funny to pick on vulnerable people line and try to make Chris flounce with her.

If she's desperate the police may become involved which could well end up with her being charged for wasting their time once the drama lama antics come out

Either way, she has escalated her behaviour. Batten down the hatches and don't say a thing any of you as this could be your chance to be free of her. She'll either flounce and cut you all out or do more wild insane stuff culminating in accusations as above. Either way if you respond now, this is where the bar is for her and each time she will land herself in hospital wasting valuable resources just to get attention from you. Do I seriously believe she would do something life threatening, of course not. However she may exaggerate any minor mishap into a blue light situation. Although tbh if she does spiral that far out it may be her best hope of getting the help she may need.

purplepandas · 20/09/2015 21:36

I have only just seen this and caught up. Wow, an A&E post is quite fitting isn't it. I can't believe that some people are so devoid of attention that they need to behave in this way!

Loving your work op and that of Anna too. :) (no vomit smiley)

lurkinginthenorth · 20/09/2015 21:40

Please keep this coming. Her attention seeking and desperado behaviour is entertaining!!!

Bulbasaur · 20/09/2015 21:47

I've had friends/family try things on for attention, I don't humor them. I just remind them they're an adult I'm sure they'll think of something.

...and yes, I do help out when they genuinely need it.

I would have just sent a text saying text when she gets home and left it at that. She chose to leave, that's not my problem.

Fizrim · 20/09/2015 21:49

If she is fine really (and I strongly suspect she is) then I hope A&E read her the riot act. Not that she'll admit that on FB, I would be on the lookout for a status update about their concern for her condition, blah, blah.

She has gone a step too far this time, really. Did she even try the out-of-hours GP service before A&E? And what is uber?!

Fizrim · 20/09/2015 21:52

Have just looked up uber, I remember taxi drivers complaining about that now.

Did Chris go with her to A&E? Does he really not think 'hey, most people don't do this after a night out ...'

UterusUterusGhali · 20/09/2015 21:57

She went to A&E for a hangover?!

That alone is worth never speaking to her again for. Bloody hell. What a twat.

I'd put something about the Jaegerbombs on FB too.

Twat.

CloakAndJagger · 20/09/2015 22:07

Oh god, I've met people like this. Bloody soap opera all the time and it's all about them.

Well handled last night though. I don't think that A&E can cure jäger bomb aftermath though.

rainbowstardrops · 20/09/2015 22:22

She's gone to A&E with a hangover???? Really????
Where the hell is Chris and why isn't he telling her she's a plank?

Jux · 21/09/2015 08:14

That is disgraceful behaviour. I hope they kept her waiting until past midnight and then just told her to take some paracetamol, and gave her a stern lecture about wasting nhs resources.

MadHattersWineParty · 21/09/2015 08:41

She's at home now apparently although I've only got that from Facebook. She's put a status about how she thinks they should have put her on a drip as she couldn't keep fluids down! (Post: wow 7 hours in a&e, throwing up and feeling so faint so ill just to be told to go home to bed and see my GP in the morning!!! Yeah thanks NHS!! Ugh so dehydrated and can't drink so clearly need fluids!!!)

Chris says she stopped being sick a while ago though. He was at the rugby so wasn't with her for all of it. BUT (he told me on the phone) he has gently suggested that she might like to spend a week or so back with her parents since she's between jobs at the moment anyway, and she says she will go if she feels up to the journey. Maybe if he has some space from her he can detach a bit- he's not happy but I think he's been scared that she'll kick off and do something if he tries to break up with her.

Wasting NHS recourses like that was very low of her, I agree. For a hangover!!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 21/09/2015 08:45

The dr had the measure of her then?.

WhoTheFIsJeff · 21/09/2015 08:45

My flabber is gasted. You really should write something about not needing to go to a&e with a hangover and of course they aren't going to waste NHS resources by putting in a drip. Gah!

Bluewombler2k · 21/09/2015 08:49

I had a friend like this. I don't anymore. I feel for you and your mates, she sounds like a friggin' nightmare