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AIBU?

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Original poster

Restaurant Argument

260 replies

Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 22:33

Me, DP and and our 2 and a half year old went out for dinner tonight. We ended up getting to the restaurant at 8 slightly later than planned. It's a chain restaurant but a slightly upmarket one. We go there once a month with DD and always have a lovely time.

When we were waiting for our bill I nipped to the toilet during which a woman on the next table said excuse me to DP and asked if he could ''shut that child up'' and that DD ''wasn't normal''.

Up until a few minutes before I went to the toilet DD had been quiet - colouring and eating. DP made the mistake of saying dinosaur to DD which did result in her being noisy. I had attempted to calm her down but at that point we were waiting to pay so were leaving soon anyway. She was noisy (going rah!)for around 5 mins at most.

Things ended up getting quite heated as DP was fuming at the woman's comments. Two men on her table also joined in. The remaining member of their party (a woman) stayed silent. I told DP to take DD to the car as I paid the bill and finished my drink.

As I left I said in future it would be best if they kept comments to themselves. The main woman then said DD shouldn't have been out at the time and should know to behave, that her children were never like that etc. She even said ''bye girl'' to me to get me to leave (I must look younger than 31!) The main man make a sarcastic comment about the top I was wearing (a kimono that I think is nice but that's beside the point) and was spoiling for a fight. They complained about having to pay the full cost of their meal after we had ruined it.

I don't think they had the right to speak to us like that but was IBU to be at a restaurant at that time?

OP posts:
pictish · 12/09/2015 22:37

Depends on the restaurant I suppose. Was it Pizza Express? If so, then ywnbu. I'm sure plenty will pile on to tell you your dd was out far too late and to allow her to make any noise at all was a heinous social faux pas...but I don't subscribe to that. They were bloody rude.

OctoberCupcake · 12/09/2015 22:38

No YANBU! What on earth are they doing spoiling for a fight? If they're so annoyed then just wait until you've gone & bitch about it between themselves if they've nothing better to talk about?

God forbid they ever go holiday to the continent then, when most restaurants are packed full of kids until closing!

Possibly slight snobby of me, but if they want a quiet meal for 'grown ups' then perhaps they should steer clear of chain restaurants, which I would generally consider to be family friendly places? (depending which chain, of course).

tootiredtothink · 12/09/2015 22:38

They were rude and obviously spoiling for a fight.

But honestly? I would not be taking my 2 year old out to eat at that time because they would be tired and things tend to happen when they're tired.

MrsEricBana · 12/09/2015 22:38

Gosh I don't know. I'd say I'd feel pretty fed up if I'd gone out for a meal and at the end of your meal (9ish?) there was a two year old yelling "Rah!" for 5 mins while we were eating. They were rude though, for which there is no excuse.

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2015 22:38

They sound rude and unpleasant but to be honest if I go out on. Saturday night at 8 o'clock for a meal at a "slightly upmarket" restaurant I wouldn't expect to see a 2 year old. I have 2 DC and I have always taken them out for meals but I also like to eat in a child free environment sometimes and In The circumstances you describe I would not really want a 2 year old there. Sounds like your DD was only doing normal 2 year old stuff but probably not the place for it.
I wouldn't be rude about it though and I doubt you ruined there evening

ollieplimsoles · 12/09/2015 22:39

We used to have this a lot at the shitty, awful, chain restaurant I used to work at- customers asking us why we allow children in 'that late' and if I could ask other customers to keep their kids quiet... No way.

Its a free country you can bring your child to a restaurant at that time if you like op, if they wanted a quiet romantic evening then these chain shit holes are not the place to go imo...

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2015 22:40

Their evening I meant

brokenhearted55a · 12/09/2015 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 22:40

Thanks for the replies everyone. For the sake of clarity it was Ask.

OP posts:
notinacton · 12/09/2015 22:41

They sound absolutely loathsome. You did nothing wrong by taking your DD out at that time. It is later than I would have taken mine out at that age, and I realise that some people dislike hearing noisy children - but, so what? The disturbance that those people caused to you far exceeds the disturbance that your DD caused to them. And anyway, it's pretty normal to get disturbed by noisy adults (drunk, laughing, just generally loud) when out in the evening. I'm sorry to hear you experienced this.

EatDessertFirst · 12/09/2015 22:41

They were massively rude. It would have been obvious that you were about to leave with finished plates etc. BUT, IMO 8pm is too late for small children to be in restaurant. At that age my DC would have been intolerable that late at night. Your DD roaring for 5 minutes was unreasonable, and would be at any time. You or DH should have taken her out after a minute so she didn't disturb other diners.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 12/09/2015 22:42

Sounds like you sat beside a pack of jerks. Unlucky. And upsetting. But don't let it get to you. They were extremly rude.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/09/2015 22:44

I'm sorry, but I would be a bit Hmm about a small child going 'Rah' for 5 minutes, though I would try to balance out the irritation by reminding myself that the child had been quiet the rest of the time.

And I wouldn't make a comment like that - the woman was very rude and unpleasant.

If it had been my child going 'Rah', I would either have apologised and said we were just about to leave, or I'd have whisked her out of the restaurant to wait outside for the person who was paying. If your dh did neither, I can understand why they might have thought he didn't give a damn about the way she was disturbing other diners. Not that that excuses such an unpleasant remark.

vulgarbunting · 12/09/2015 22:45

I'm in two minds. Screechy children in restaurants are annoying...but it doesn't sound like your DD was too bad, and they were worse with their rudeness. So YANBU.

westcoastnortherneragain · 12/09/2015 22:45

YANBU these people were rude, it's a free country take her to what ever restaurant you please.

Having moved to another country, I can now see how unchild friendly the UK really is.

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 22:46

We like to take DD out every couple of weeks to eat and 8 is later than we would normally go. 6 is our usual time so the comments here about the time are good ones I will keep in mind.

OP posts:
Sunshineandsilverbirch · 12/09/2015 22:47

They shouldn't have been rude (and it sounds like they were very rude) but in all honesty if my two year old had started shouting in those circumstances and I couldn't get them to quieten down immediately I would have taken them out.

People will give some leeway at lunchtime or 6pm especially in a family restaurant but if you are out for a quiet meal the last thing anyone wants to hear is a two tear old shouting 'rah'.

Despite their rudeness your DH should just have apologised and taken her out.

grumpysquash · 12/09/2015 22:47

If the restaurant allows toddlers in, then it's OK. They were very rude (why would they think your DD isn't normal - all toddlers go 'rah')

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 12/09/2015 22:50

They were rude and unpleasant. Referring to her as "that child" was particularly rude. No excuse to make comments about your top either!

Sorry that your evening was ruined by them.

I would say that ASK is a perfectly appropriate place to take a child, including after 8 pm. I would have considered it a "family friendly" type place.

ollieplimsoles · 12/09/2015 22:50

For the sake of clarity it was Ask.

I was right then...total overpriced shit hole. Yabu for subjecting your child to such a place.

But seriously op, they sound like the sort of people who go to places like Ask, Pizza Express and Frankie and Benny's and think that because they are paying extortionate prices they must be somewhere upmarket, and therefore children making noise is a huge inconvenience.

They were rude.

PotteringAlong · 12/09/2015 22:50

6pm I'd probably suck it up but I'd be really irritated by a roaring toddler if I was out for dinner at 9pm on a Saturday night. Far far too late for her to be up and out.

SouthAmericanCuisine · 12/09/2015 22:51

If I wanted to guarantee I wouldn't be disturbed by young DCs during my meal, regardless of time of day, I wouldn't choose to eat at an Italian restaurant chain which promotes family-friendly practice and policies.

Our loca (independent)l Italian restaurant often has littlies running round at 10pm or later - they host big family get togethers with generations all eating together while other diners sit at tables alongside.

Don't worry OP - YANBU.

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 22:52

I can't speak for DP but I think if they had said something more polite he probably would have apologised and left. It was the fact that they called DD ''not normal'' that wound him up. He says the woman said it 3 times (sorry to drip feed!)

The other thing that is odd is that one of their party burped very loudly during our meal so they weren't exactly quiet themselves.

OP posts:
TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 12/09/2015 22:52

If the 'rah' was a dinosaur impression then YADNBU, I would have been sniggering away. If the 'rah' was a tantrum, well, YANBU.

Lilaclily · 12/09/2015 22:53

Why did you eat so late though ?
If id gone out at nine to Ask I'd be a bit pee'd off to hear dinosaur noises
Mostly because I pay for a babysitter to go out !