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AIBU?

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Original poster

Restaurant Argument

260 replies

Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 22:33

Me, DP and and our 2 and a half year old went out for dinner tonight. We ended up getting to the restaurant at 8 slightly later than planned. It's a chain restaurant but a slightly upmarket one. We go there once a month with DD and always have a lovely time.

When we were waiting for our bill I nipped to the toilet during which a woman on the next table said excuse me to DP and asked if he could ''shut that child up'' and that DD ''wasn't normal''.

Up until a few minutes before I went to the toilet DD had been quiet - colouring and eating. DP made the mistake of saying dinosaur to DD which did result in her being noisy. I had attempted to calm her down but at that point we were waiting to pay so were leaving soon anyway. She was noisy (going rah!)for around 5 mins at most.

Things ended up getting quite heated as DP was fuming at the woman's comments. Two men on her table also joined in. The remaining member of their party (a woman) stayed silent. I told DP to take DD to the car as I paid the bill and finished my drink.

As I left I said in future it would be best if they kept comments to themselves. The main woman then said DD shouldn't have been out at the time and should know to behave, that her children were never like that etc. She even said ''bye girl'' to me to get me to leave (I must look younger than 31!) The main man make a sarcastic comment about the top I was wearing (a kimono that I think is nice but that's beside the point) and was spoiling for a fight. They complained about having to pay the full cost of their meal after we had ruined it.

I don't think they had the right to speak to us like that but was IBU to be at a restaurant at that time?

OP posts:
pictish · 12/09/2015 22:54

Just a clutch of arseholes OP. Don't give them another thought.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/09/2015 22:54

Was it a five minute long burp, though?

GoEasyJulia · 12/09/2015 22:55

5 minutes of dinosaur noise is a long time really.

I would probably have taken my toddler out if he wasn't being quiet but then I do tend to overly worry about disturbing others when most of the time they don't even notice.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 12/09/2015 22:56

My 2 1/2 year old would have joined in with yours in the rah game...

We often end up eating late if we have been out somewhere. Dd generally behaves. But we have seen plenty that don't!

The other people could have moved or asked toy to move (depending on who got here first/ available tables for party size...)

But to complain about a kid playing happily? They are weird.

BerniceB · 12/09/2015 22:58

I'm massively anti poorly behaved children in restaurants, but if you go somewhere with crayons on the table you have to expect a little bit of child related noise.

brokenhearted55a · 12/09/2015 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 22:58

We ended up eating late because shopping took later than we thought.

The burp wasn't 5 minutes long - I would have applauded that.

The rah was indeed a dinosaur impression - I blame George Pig.

OP posts:
BeaufortBelle · 12/09/2015 22:58

Have had a quick look at the website. It's a family restaurant with a children's menu, high chairs and nappy changing facilities, complete with colouring in facilities. Yes, your 2.5 year old was out a bit late and your dh could have moderated his encouragement to "rah". But if you want a totally grown up experience, you don't go to that sort of place. However, you rose to their bait and I think have lost the high ground.

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/09/2015 22:58

"They complained about having to pay the full cost of their meal after we had ruined it."
Possibly that was the whole point. They'd been looking for something to complain about, and your daughter was the first thing they could find.

MissingPanda · 12/09/2015 22:58

What was your DP doing to try and quiet your DD? If I was in a restaurant and a child was going rah noisily for 5 minutes and your DP was doing nothing then I would be annoyed, though I probably wouldn't say anything. If he was trying to get her to be quiet (not silent) then I would have more sympathy.

BerniceB · 12/09/2015 22:58

I'm not suggesting that she was poorly behaved, by the way.

MissingPanda · 12/09/2015 22:59

Oops, meant to add that they were rude though.

Topseyt · 12/09/2015 22:59

They were very rude. They carried things way too far.

However, 5 minutes is a pretty long time to have to put up with a two year old shouting "RAH". It would annoy me greatly although I wouldn't say anything as clearly she had otherwise been well behaved.

You should have stopped her after the first couple of times, or taken her outside for a few minutes.

Slammerkins · 12/09/2015 23:00

They need to pay for a proper restaurant if they want to eat in peace.

Lilaclily · 12/09/2015 23:00

It's just tricky for me because I would never shop late with a toddler
We just never bothered
It's not much fun !

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 12/09/2015 23:03

WhereYouLeftIt - I do wonder that myself.

We did tell DD to be quiet but once she gets an idea in her head she isn't easily distracted. Before I had gone to the toilet I had shown her photos of herself on my phone which did work a bit. The rah-ing wasn't a constant noise.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 12/09/2015 23:03

Sooooo, they went to a family chain restaurant and then they didn't like the fact there was a family there.

They are vair silly people and should fuck off.

FifteenFortyNine · 12/09/2015 23:04

YANBU being at a restaurant at that time with your toddler. Especially at that restaurant, they advertise themselves as fun and family friendly.

CocktailQueen · 12/09/2015 23:08

If I go out for dinner at 8, OP, I do not expect 2yos to be out as well.

YABU.

Even if it is an 'upmarket' chain -that does not mean dc are welcome at 10pm, does it?

But I would not expect other people to say 'shut that child up' and that 'dd wasn't normal' so YANBU for that - they were rude.

Sunshineandsilverbirch · 12/09/2015 23:08

Do you ever take her out if she's noisy?

ChilliAndMint · 12/09/2015 23:09

YANBU. I love to see children enjoying themselves in restaurants, toddlers are hugely entertaining.

Some people have nothing better to do than spoil for a fight.

My guess is that they were jealous of the fact you appeared to be a perfect happy family.

Next time go to an independent restaurant,; my dc would be spoiled rotten by staff and fellow diners when we went to an Indian or Italian restaurant.

CocktailQueen · 12/09/2015 23:11

Ask may be a family friendly restaurant chain - but not at 8pm, dare I say.

If I was taking my dc out for tea I'd take them at 5/6. And they're 8 and 11. Because any later, then 8yo is tired and disruptive.

TheGonnagle · 12/09/2015 23:11

I think that if you go to a restaurant that has a kids menu, crayons and highchairs you would not be unreasonable to expect that children would be welcome there. Whether that's 5.00 or 10.00 in the evening.
Frankly, your dinner neighbours were optimistic and foolish to think they wouldn't see kids at the weekend at ASK.
Therefore, I pronounce them hideous twats, apart from silent lady, who was probably dying a thousand deaths by mortification.

Nanny0gg · 12/09/2015 23:15

They might be family friendly but I wouldn't expect to see a toddler eating there at that time of night.

That doesn't excuse the rudeness of the people at the next table.

And all the people sneering at the restaurant - some people actually quite like it, so do one with your snobbish attitudes. It is a 'proper' restaurant and it's nice to take children to during the day.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/09/2015 23:16

They were rude.
But 'rah'hing is really really annoying.

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