Shit, I text my Mums lover.

[HappyBeet86]

Alright I know I'm am unreasonable but I need to get this out somewhere.

Bit of background, my parents are both getting on a bit. My Dads health isn't fantastic.

Lately my Mum has been having lots of 'errands' to run at short notice, she makes plans (like meeting up with me and dd in swimming) and texts at the last minute to say something's come up. I only mention it because it has been very noticeable. My Dad confided in me that he is worried about her, she used to be relaxed and happy. She is always stressed and angry lately.

To be completely honest I was starting to worry that she might be getting early signs of dementia.

I am at their house this morning with dd. I had to go upstairs to take some washing up and mums phone started buzzing. I picked it up to carry downstairs with me and saw the first line of a text.

'Wife's gone I'm free sexy'

My stomach dropped out of my feet. And I know I shouldn't have...but I did. I looked through her phone.

She's been having an affair with a married man. The texts were...gross. Most of them were him saying he was home now so not to call.

And I didn't even think, I was so angry. I text him from mums phone.

'You dirty fuck. You have a wife right? I've stored your number. How about if you don't stop contact immediately I call you every day, day and night? Do you think your wife will start to notice?'

Awww shit I know, I know! Should not have done that. If it's some small defence I'm 7 weeks pregnant and a bag of raging hormones.

This is hard to describe but my mums always beat me other the head with morals. She's sort of acted holier than thou for fifty years, she's not shy about coming down on me or anyone else for questionable moral behaviour and I've always looked up to her.

I was so angry at him for changing my mums personality. Or is thus who she is really?

I'm an adult. It isn't any of my business. I know I fucked up.I can't tell anyone else. What do I do now?

Don't beat yourself up op. Tell your dm asap.

I would have done the same!!

You need to let hour mum know asap though as the bloke will probably text her back like wtf?

Dad is quite technology averse. I bought him a mobile phone for Christmas two years ago that is still in the box!

The messages have been any time of the day.

It was such a drastic personality change. But you are right, it probably wasn't his fault. It's hard to admit you may not know the person closest to you at all!

Is it wrong that even though I regret it, a part of me is viciously hoping I scared the shit out of the married man?

You need to tell her now. Surely she's going to find out in a matter of minutes. Unless you can get the phone again and block OM's number.

But basically you need to tell her now.

Right wish me luck. I'm going to try and get her outside when she goes to hang the washing out.

I don't think your DM will welcome your intrusion into her private life... Why would you be looking at her phone when it's nothing to do with you? Are you always this rude?

Good luck. Too early for ?

Good luck x

I'm assuming that she glanced at the phone when she picked it up to take to her mum, not her fault that the mum has message preview on.

Good luck OP.

Was it such an awful thing for you to have done? Maybe it will shock your Mum into realising how foolish her behaviour is, and give you the opportunity to say that you have all noticed her change in temperament, and actually don't like the 'new' her.

Your poor Dad.

Hope the chat with mum goes ok (not sure what 'ok' would look like in this context but still!). I feel for you. My parents split when I was 23 due to dad extramarital affair, I was (and still am) devastated about it 11 years on.

I'm going against the grain here.

What you've done is a pretty appalling invasion of privacy, and rather than being congratulated you should be mortified. No one has the right to check another persons messages. Let alone use their phone to send a reply.

You have no idea of the relationship between your parents. Your father may have ED, and be willing to turn a blind eye. Or he may himself have had affairs in the past...

It really wasn't your place to interfere.

If your DM was rushing over at the drop of a hat as soon as his wife left the house then this is the cleanest way to break up! I'm surprised DM wasn't found out sooner. You know what people are like for gossip.

I absolutely agree with velvet. Dreadful behaviour. You cannot hope to know the ins and outs of their intimate arrangements but even if there are none it's still the sum total of bugger all of your business.

Thinking of you, hard to be stuck in the middle I imagine x

Agree with velvetspoon . You were a disgrace to send that text. How dare you interfere in your mums life in such a way. You probably know nothing of what led your mum down this path and if she had wanted you to know she would have confided in you. Would you have done this on a friends phone? I think not. Very much none of your business. You owe your mum a big apology

Oh whatever, if you're having an affair you shouldn't be surprised or appalled if your kids find out and it all kicks off. That's what was always going to happen.

Good luck OP. I'm sure this is going to be one of the most difficult conversations that you will ever have to have and things will be very different afterwards.

I completely agree with velvet. You had no right to do that, you wouldn't do it to a friend. You're behaviour was childish and rude, apologise and talk properly!

Would be intrigued to hear the responses were it your dad having the affair instead. Good luck OP, I don't know what I would have done in the same situation so can't condemn you for it!

I think she was going to get caught anyhow, op read it by accident, her reply was an emotional driven spur of the moment thing. Her mum's just lucky her dad didn't see it instead....

Good luck OP what a tricky situation