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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NobodyLivesHere · 08/09/2015 00:15

but who exactly are they harming with leopard print hair? and the wrong socks?! its controlling in the extreme.

overthemill · 08/09/2015 00:19

I love it to. And if you decide to send your child to a school you agree that they will abide by the rules eg uniform policy. If you don't like it you are within your rights to home educate your child. I love school uniform

Hamiltoes · 08/09/2015 00:20

Agree with Nobody.

How about we start judging children, teens, and people in general for their actions, words and behaviour instead of their appearance Hmm

Original poster
giraffesCantDoThat · 08/09/2015 00:22

If you have a problem with the school rules then challenge them and discuss them in an appropriate way or send them to a more relaxed school - don't send you child in the wrong uniform then act shocked!

OP posts:
kickassangel · 08/09/2015 00:45

not everyone gets much choice about which school to go to, and it is very rare that a parent can say, "hang on, I think girls should be allowed to wear trousers" without having the conversation shut down.

I would be very worried about 50 kids being sent home in one day.

And seriously, why can't kids dye their hair. It doesn't affect their brains, you know.

AuntieStella · 08/09/2015 06:35

Not everyone gets their first (or subsequent) choice of school, nor feels capable of educating a secondary age pupil effectively themselves.

So it may well be a case of making the best of circumstances you dislike. Which in itself may be a life lesson.

Bunbaker · 08/09/2015 06:44

DD's school has increasingly petty rules about school uniforms. On the first day back last week a lot of students spent the day in isolation because their skirts were too short. In DD's friend's case it was about two inches above her knee. Yet there were other girls walking around school the following day wearing much shorter skirts and they didn't get any sanctions.

The school is a good one, but is still under-performing and I feel they need to focus on teaching and learning rather than hemlines.

Spartans · 08/09/2015 07:00

Our school is very strict. The skirts even have the logo at the top and bottom to prevent rolling up.

It's an excellent school, we only managed to get in on appeal because of exceptional circumstances. It's an extremely popular school and most parents buy houses in the immediate area just because of the school. So I would say, at our school, that if you don't like it you should not have applied. (It's well know for being very strict) . But most people don't get a choice so it's difficult.

Personally I don't see the issue with sticking to the rules. I don't see it as removing individuality at all. Individuality is not just about your appearance.

Spartans · 08/09/2015 07:02

Oh and yes I find the scowling photos funny. Sorry, but I do. I don't believe for a minute that the girl with leopard print hair (or her mother) thought it would be ok.

Even most of the more relaxed schools wouldnt be ok with that.

kiggenpaws · 08/09/2015 07:06

It's not really about the uniform. It's about whether or not you can follow some (fairly simple) instructions and do what you're told. From my experience if you've got attitude about this then you're probably going to have attitude about being asked to behave in class!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 08/09/2015 07:30

Now waiting to see if my dcs will get a grilling for having natural highlights in their hair...

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 08/09/2015 07:32

I am assuming leopard hair girl was sent home for her own safety?

So she didn't get bullied for that ridiculous "do"?

slightlyconfused85 · 08/09/2015 07:34

Natural highlights and leopard print are very different; the former is frankly distracting for other students. It is very simple to follow rules, and life is easier in a secondary environment if uniform is regulated and then followed.

slightlyconfused85 · 08/09/2015 07:34

The latter...sorry. Natural higoggts are clearly not distracting!

LittleMissLady · 08/09/2015 07:35

I agree that school uniform should be just that 'uniform', by sheer definition meaning they all wear and look the same but there has to be some common sense.

I even slightly agree with the hair issue, leopard print is a bit over the top for school but I don't think hair dye should be completely outlawed. Just subtle and normal styles.

The shoe thing is completely ott and pure control and red tape bullocks.

Flossyfloof · 08/09/2015 07:36

Kiggenpaws, you are so right.

MythicalKings · 08/09/2015 07:37

There are no relaxed schools in this area. All of them have petty, restrictive uniform regulations.

Both DSs went to a non-uniform school. Parents these days have no choice. The parents of pupils at the school they went to lobbied for a uniform and the governors caved in. The head resigned. Those of us with DCs in higher years refused and they had to back down on that.

The reasons the parents gave for demanding uniform were pathetic. They were too scared to say no to what their DCs wanted to wear so demanded that the school to do it for them. Lazy parenting.

A dress code is fine. Dictatorship is ridiculous.

Teachers have better things to do than check out what students are wearing.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/09/2015 07:40

I agree with op, the leapord hair was just silly, it is obvious it would not be allowed in school, considering schools send pupils back home for even having hair too short, let alone a blooming pattern carved into it. Yes I like school uniform, looks smart, and no competition amongst peers who has the best clothes, no faffing in the morning. You know exactly what your child will wear.

GaryBaldy · 08/09/2015 07:40

Surely adhering to school uniform is part of getting ready for the workplace where in many jobs you have to conform to a uniform or at least a business dress code?

OneDay103 · 08/09/2015 07:40

That leopard skin hair do makes her look so rough and cheap, really what was she thinking. If these kids cannot follow simple rules now how will they cope in other situations.

usual · 08/09/2015 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treaclesoda · 08/09/2015 07:42

Wrong type of shoes etc can be a bit petty but leopard hair is all about attitude. Ger attitude is to stick two fingers up to the school and flout their rules. Which is probably fine if she can make her way in life without ever needing to conform to society's 'norms'. But not many people can do that and most people (myself included) had to learn as teenagers that sometimes you suck it up and follow the rules. Otherwise when you're an adult you run the risk of being that person who can't hold down a job because you 'don't like being told what to do' and then feeling sorry for yourself and blaming everyone else.

Have leopard hair in the holidays. Sorted.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 08/09/2015 07:43

It's an ability to follow rules. Something we all have to do in life. The parents are not helping their kids by telling thrm to do what they want regardless of anyone else.

NobodyLivesHere · 08/09/2015 07:43

i have no issue with following rules, but i do take issue wih rules for rules sake.

no hoop earrings= sensible, cos they can get caught so its a health and safety thing
not being allowed to wear a coat in the school building=pointless rule with no actual point.

following all rules just because 'they say so' is not the kind of people i want to raise. challenging unfairness and arbitrary rules is a good quality imo.

Karou · 08/09/2015 07:43

Most of these schools clamp down a lot in the first few weeks then become a lot more relaxed. If they really want self expression all they usually have to do is wait a few weeks the roll the skirts up and loosen the tie, deliberately turning up on the first day back in the wrong uniform is just asking to be in a sad faced photo.

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