DH missed his parcel and is blaming me

[4VeryBlondes]

Dh was waiting for a parcel to be delivered and instead of waiting and listening out for it he was having s willy off in the garden with next door. I was in but didn't answer the door as I was in the bath and didn't want to get out. DH is blaming me saying if i heard the door I should have answered it but I think if he was expecting the parcel he should have been in the house listening for the door!! Now he has a face on and is blaming me. AIBU here???

I think op has slunk off to name change and never come back ever, ever again...

did he have his wEllies on?

Roses I don't like to speculate (ha!) So let's look at the facts. Ops dh came back grumpy and picked a fight about parcels. ..

Just spluttered red wine all down my front....DH looking What the hell is a willy-off ? Does neighbour's wife mind? DH says sounds like DIY castration, but doesn't think it's a participant sport undertaken with ones neighbour in their garden.

Joining queue

I cannot leave this thread without knowing what a willy off is!!! Come back OP.

Shameless place marking

Me too.

Googling willy off is interesting.....

He should have answered it. The willy antics with the neighbour could have waited I'm guessing since I also have no idea what a willy off is

OP I think you might have deliberately got a word wrong there ... nice effort though but it takes an epic T rex to get my interest these days

lordstrange I'm dying!

Yanbu OP, if you were in the bath you were not available and he should have made adequate provision for the parcel delivery.

Someone somewhere must recognise the term. Northern Wales? West London? Outer Mongolia?

Nonn that John Wayne Bobbit man was one of Google's suggestions - dh could be right, castration.. with the neighbour.... through the fence?!

Fuck me I am properly weeping

Adding to the list of people place marking, this is the best thread I've ever read! Too soon to nominate for classics?!

Where's the OP gone? OP please come back and correct the typo, we've already said ywnbu, we want to know what dh was doing with the neighbours willy.

Ahahahahahaha! I'm sort of hoping the OP doesn't come back to correct now. Keep the willy jokes, er, coming.

It just means that he was showing off to his neighbour doesn't it?!

Omg! I have tears reading this!!

He is bu and I hope you enjoyed your bath while he was playing with his Willy with next door.

oh dear, I have had to make a choice between spitting out my tea or choking to death....

some of you got off lightly with only mopping up t shirts

This is fucking hilarious

Gloria Or did he beat the neighbour off?

Actual tears here

And this is why i love mumsnet
His parcel so he should definitely have been waiting in and holding off the willy off thingy....sounds a bit painful though... Cant work out if you'd have to be best mates or worse enemies with your neighbours for a willy off

Isn't cock fighting illegal?