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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH missed his parcel and is blaming me

239 replies

4VeryBlondes · 07/09/2015 21:12

Dh was waiting for a parcel to be delivered and instead of waiting and listening out for it he was having s willy off in the garden with next door. I was in but didn't answer the door as I was in the bath and didn't want to get out. DH is blaming me saying if i heard the door I should have answered it but I think if he was expecting the parcel he should have been in the house listening for the door!! Now he has a face on and is blaming me. AIBU here???

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 07/09/2015 21:23

YANBU

Now, about this willy off...

Arkkorox · 07/09/2015 21:23

Place marking to find out what the willy off show stopper is....

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 07/09/2015 21:23

Grin great autocorrect.

JeffreysMummyisCross · 07/09/2015 21:23

Testing - just think what you could do with a trellis . . .

Mulligrubs · 07/09/2015 21:23

A willy off?! I am picturing a duel situation with cocks?

LittleMissLady · 07/09/2015 21:24

op? Op!! Come back

cuntycowfacemonkey · 07/09/2015 21:24

A willy off? Did the parcel contain a strap on by any chance?

MyGastIsFlabbered · 07/09/2015 21:24

I can't believe the OP has left us all dangling like this...

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/09/2015 21:24

I wouldn't have got out of the bath either. For one, by the time you'd dried off a bit & found a dressing gown the delivery person would have left.

Now, what was he doing in the garden with the neighbour?

RockerMummy184 · 07/09/2015 21:25

Urban Dictionary is even baffled!

couldthisbeit · 07/09/2015 21:26

Oh I so needed this thread today! Do come back OP, we need to know!!

duckyneedsaclean · 07/09/2015 21:26

Is this a stealth boast? Or a cry for help?

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 07/09/2015 21:26

Op! Come on!

MaisieDotes · 07/09/2015 21:26

A willy off- like a dance off, but with willies?

Does your DH have a willy crew or is he just a solo willy?

Mairyhinge · 07/09/2015 21:26

Omg I have tears rolling down my face and I'm a miserable bugger who doesn't find anything funny, but this has really got me.
I have no idea what your husband was doing next door, but getting his willy off sounds preferable to sitting around waiting for a parcel.
Please let us know what you mean, or maybe not, as I think reality could be far less entertaining Grin

I'm loving the idea of a bake off style competition with their dicks poking thru the fence.
wish my neighbours were this much fun

JeffreysMummyisCross · 07/09/2015 21:26

YABU for teasing us with your DH's willy and not coming back.

Scarydinosaurs · 07/09/2015 21:27

Willy off- boasting to his next door neighbour!

Don't see how you didn't all get that Grin

ShatnersBassoon · 07/09/2015 21:27

My mind has gone blank. I'm just imagining a glory hole in the trellis. A willy off? What could this be?

LillyBugg · 07/09/2015 21:28

I had to read that several times. It definitely says willy off. Hmmm. YANBU.

SingingSamosa · 07/09/2015 21:28

Am sat crying and snorting with laughter at my laptop whilst DH is sat next to me all Hmm

I absolutely MUST know what a willy-off is, and how one brings up the possibility of participating in it with one's neighbours. I'm thinking it's surely got to be up there with wife-swapping in 'most awkward conversations to have with a neighbour' hall of fame? Shock

ILiveOnABuildsite · 07/09/2015 21:28

Joins the queue of people waiting to here more about this willy off business.

In answer to original issue, his parcel his problem, presumably he knew you were in the bath and would not have been able to answer the door, he should have been where he could hear the door. Maybe next time have the willy off in the lounge?

HisBowtieIsReallyACamera · 07/09/2015 21:29

I'm just refreshing this thread, waiting for an answer...

TenForward82 · 07/09/2015 21:29

Samosa the same thing is happening in the Forward household (er, the snorting and Hmm husband, not a willy off)

JeffreysMummyisCross · 07/09/2015 21:30

God, I hope this isn't one of those threads where it turns out there's a longstanding history of abusive behaviour from the DH.

Apologies, OP, if that's the case.

pointythings · 07/09/2015 21:30

I need to know what a willy off is.

But he is BVU - if nothing else he can arrange a new delivery date and time, you get more than one shot normally. And when the new delivery is due, he needs to keep his willy out of things.