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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my dcs to get themselves to school?

171 replies

Carlywurly · 05/09/2015 12:29

They're year 4 and year 6. School is a safe 3-4 min walk from home.
I need to leave by 7.55 to get to work on time, they'd need to leave at 8.25 to get to school for 8.30 with lessons starting at 845.

We have a Yale lock - they wouldn't need to lock up. I would plan on putting coats and bags by the door and setting an alarm for them to remind them when to leave.

I feel they're fine watching TV for 30 mins and letting themselves out but a friend's reaction suggested she thought I was mad. We have lots of friendly neighbours very close by.

This is therefore, a genuine Aibu - happy to be told if I'm being daft even thinking this.

OP posts:
fabuLou · 05/09/2015 12:32

Why wouldn't you wake them before you go? They won't have time to watch tv.

fabuLou · 05/09/2015 12:33

I think its ok as long as they are together, sensible and won't fight

Sirzy · 05/09/2015 12:34

I would for a year 6 child at a push but wouldn't be comfy for a year 4 one.

Is their not a breakfast club at school?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 05/09/2015 12:36

The alarm is to remind them to leave not get up. I wouldnt have an issue.

scarlets · 05/09/2015 12:37

If either of them is the type to decide that they simply don't fancy school that day, then no. Otherwise, yes.

AngelWings74 · 05/09/2015 12:40

No, I think this is wrong, they are too young to have that responsibility. As another poster said they could feel like not going to school, they could become unwell. I am shocked that you are asking this!

Finola1step · 05/09/2015 12:40

Ok for a sensible 10 year old. But I wouldn't with and 8 year old. It is a lot to expect the 10 year old to be responsible for making sure they get themselves plus their sibling to school every day.

What did you do last year?

AngelWings74 · 05/09/2015 12:41

Sorry OP, I read this as a 4 and 6 year old, not children in year 4 and 6 which is very different. Apologies. Had three hours sleep last night!

TravellingToad · 05/09/2015 12:55

I think it sounds ok

Original poster
Carlywurly · 05/09/2015 12:56

I'd get them up, give them breakfast, make sure teeth were brushed and bags laid out by the door. The alarm would be to remind them to leave, not get up.

Last year we lived 15 mins away so I used breakfast club, which regularly opened late and meant I was consistently late for work. This year we've moved just round the corner from the school.

Tbh the 8 year old is probably the more sensible of the two.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carlywurly · 05/09/2015 12:57

No worries angel wings, you'd be entirely justified in that reaction if they were 4 and 6!

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 05/09/2015 13:01

I think they are too young - yes in a year or so.
What's the earliest they can get into school ? If this is around 8.00 I would be seeing them out at the same time I went out

dontrunwithscissors · 05/09/2015 13:05

What are the chances of them playing with something (iron, straighteners, cooker) that could cause a fire while you're out? Are you sure they are sensible enough to pull the door fully closed? What happens if they shut the door and then realise they've forgotten something? Will they know how to contact you if one of them feels sick/hurts themselves?

DD1 is in P4. She's a bit of a worrier and I suspect she would be unhappy being left. I think she would probably be OK by P6, but would still probably worry her. DD2, on the other hand, is reckless and fearless. I would not want to leave DD1 with the responsibility of trying to get her out of the house (unless she changes radically over the next few years.)

BrandNewAndImproved · 05/09/2015 13:05

I was debating this with my year 4 and 5, but I can't trust the year 4 not to want to cross the busy road if he sees a friend.

SaucyJack · 05/09/2015 13:09

My DDs are just going in years 4&6, and there'd be more chance of me pissing in the Queen's handbag than leaving them to get themselves ready for school in the morning.

Absolutely not acceptable if you're asking me- which you were.

Junosmum · 05/09/2015 13:10

Although there is no law on how long you can leave children for or how old children can be left alone but IF something happened to one of them you'd be hard pushed to justify a 10 year old being left in charge of an 8yo.

BrandNewAndImproved · 05/09/2015 13:15

Is there a playground at the school? Can you not drop them to school to play in the playground before the doors open?

Effic · 05/09/2015 13:15

I think it's fine. 10 and 8 aren't babies. A nice little bit of independence for them both.

Original poster
Carlywurly · 05/09/2015 13:16

The playground is manned by teachers from 830 so I don't really want them there before then. There is only one road to cross, patrolled from 8am by a lovely neighbour.

I imagine there will be friends passing they can walk with and will try and get an arrangement set up - it really is just round the corner.

No concerns about them touching iron etc, no straighteners in the house. They've had about 5 sick days ever between them. Something like falling down the stairs would be my biggest concern.

I think we might trial it and see how it goes. Any issues and we'll revert to breakfast club.

OP posts:
Jw35 · 05/09/2015 13:19

It sounds ok to me with that time frame and everything ready like that.

bakingaddict · 05/09/2015 13:20

Is there no way you can shift your start time till a little bit later. It sounds like you'd only need 15 - 30mins extra to get them to breakfast club by 8am and then onto work yourself. I would explore that avenue first before leaving kids to get to school themselves

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/09/2015 13:20

Use the breakfast club if your relocation means you don't have to drop them so early. I think 8 years old is too little to leave home although I would be ok with the walk.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/09/2015 13:22

Or a childminder.

Original poster
Carlywurly · 05/09/2015 13:25

Actually, shifting my start time 15 mins may be the answer..

OP posts:
Konserve · 05/09/2015 13:27

sounds fine to me.
give it a try for a week/couple of weeks and then talk to the dc if it has been ok for them.