To leave my dcs to get themselves to school?

[Carlywurly]

They're year 4 and year 6. School is a safe 3-4 min walk from home.
I need to leave by 7.55 to get to work on time, they'd need to leave at 8.25 to get to school for 8.30 with lessons starting at 845.

We have a Yale lock - they wouldn't need to lock up. I would plan on putting coats and bags by the door and setting an alarm for them to remind them when to leave.

I feel they're fine watching TV for 30 mins and letting themselves out but a friend's reaction suggested she thought I was mad. We have lots of friendly neighbours very close by.

This is therefore, a genuine Aibu - happy to be told if I'm being daft even thinking this.

[DontStopBelievin]

Not a chance in hell, that is far too young for so much responsibility! I have an 8 year old in year 4 and no way would I leave him at that age to get himself to school.
Not fair on the older one to be landed with so much responsibility as well and to make sure they both get out the door in time.

[Singsongsungagain]

So hang on OP- you don't want to leave them in the playground alone as it's unstaffed until 8.30 but are happy to leave them alone in your house and then in the street without any supervision at all? Don't you think you've answered your question there?

[Marynary]

I was talking to my dad about this. My dad is in his late seventies and he said he and his sibs/friends used to walk over a mile to school without adults and across busy roads. He was 4 when he started walking.

By today's standards, I don't think that there was such thing as a "busy road" in the 1940s. I agree that today's standards regarding child safety are different to those in the 1940s but I wouldn't say that is a bad thing personally. For example, would you put a very young child on a train, destination unknown nowadays as they did then with evacuees?

[GammonAndEgg]

I'm the head of a primary school. Lots of kids from Y4 upwards do the same thing you're suggesting, OP. I don't see an issue with it. You know if your kids are mature enough to make it work.

[StillFrankie]

I'm reading this like

What if something happened in the house? If one got injured?

No fucking way.

[drudgetrudy]

To be honest I really do think they are a bit young for this.

[NoMoreRenting]

But surely the walking to school is the more dangerous part. I say that loosely because I think by 8 I was letting ds1 pop to the village in his own. But no road to cross. He's 12 now and got the train into Manchester a couple of weeks ago with a friend. It's a 15min journey. I wouldn't let his almost 10yr old brother go but def by 12/13. Otherwise they walk into traffic at 16.

[Lilaclily]

So hang on OP- you don't want to leave them in the playground alone as it's unstaffed until 8.30 but are happy to leave them alone in your house and then in the street without any supervision at all? Don't you think you've answered your question there?
This !

[Lilaclily]

gammonandegg
It must depend where you live
In my area no one apart from year 6 walk without a parent so a year 4 would look very conspicuous and I know parents would judge round here

[TimeToMuskUp]

DS1 is going into Y5 next week and I wouldn't be willing to let him get out of the house and to school solo, let alone with a sibling.

Do you have friends/parents of their friends DCs who can help out? My friend who has DCs the same age as mine works 3 days a week, I do 3 days a week too, we share the DCs school runs and on the day we cross over we both use the before and after school clubs because neither of us feels the DCs are ready for walking themselves to/from school. It works really well for us.

[JimmyGreavesMoustache]

my year 4 child is too much of a daydreamer for me to be happy with this.
and although i think the yr6 would be ok to do this, I don't think it's fair to make the yr6 kid responsible for the younger one. i do leave my YR4 kid at home for 30mins or so, but she doesn't have any responsbilities to manage, nor a deadline to meet.

at my DC's school, very few YR4 children even walk the last hundred yards alone. none is responsible for getting themselves out on time.

[ChristineDePisan]

Is the playground open at 8am, though? Lots aren't, never mind worrying about supervision, I wouldn't want my DC stood outside the gate for, say, 20 mins

[OublietteBravo]

I can check my children have arrived at school - the register is electronic, so I merely log onto my account and check they have arrived.

We have middle schools here. Children are expected to catch a bus to get to and from school from Y5.

When I was a child (early 80s) I walked to school on my own from the age of 7 (so Y2). Actually - I took my almost 5 year old sister (reception) with me, so I wasn't quite alone. It was a 20 min walk, with several roads to cross.

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

I've done similar with DS2 at a similar age to our eldest but I didn't have a younger one - he had to lock up though too. he was fine, one day he remembered at the last minute that he was supposed to take an outfit into school for something - sorted himself out with no fuss and got to school on time.....and he is a bit of a bomb scare tbh. I did the same as you are planning in that I set the timer on the cooker clock and he turned it off and left.

[IMurderedStampyLongnose]

Do it,they'll be fine

[Youarentkiddingme]

Could they not leave when you do, walk to school and go into breakfast club?

if you can get to work on time by dropping them at breakfast club at 8 could they be dropped off and left in playground?

I don't see the problem with them taking themselves if they are independent enough. My ds has asd so my knowledge of children and abilities is not age appropriate - there's no way he could manage it at either of those ages but it makes me wary of saying no way because NT children possibly could iyswim?

[Carlywurly]

Crikey, this has divided opinion. I appreciate your responses. After 6 years of being a single working parent I've never been accused of lazy parenting before but you're entitled to your opinion.

If it helps clarify, we live in a small, friendly,safe, rural village and it's not at all unusual round here for children to be out and about on their own until late into the evening or to walk to school on their own. The lollipop lady knows them well and knows to expect them to be walking.

We used to live in a big town and I'd have never even considered this there.

The great irony is how much more freedom I now realise my sibling and I had at a much younger age and we always thought they were strict.

[Marynary]

If it helps clarify, we live in a small, friendly,safe, rural village and it's not at all unusual round here for children to be out and about on their own until late into the evening or to walk to school on their own. The lollipop lady knows them well and knows to expect them to be walking.

The fact that it is a small safe village will not prevent accidents happening in the home and it will not ensure that they get themselves ready and out for school on time. If anything it is all the more reason for leaving them at the breakfast club (by themselves if no one has arrived by the official opening time) or in the school playground. Alternatively, if everyone is so friendly why can't you just drop them off at the house of their friends when you leave?

[SixtyFootDoll]

I'm one of the most laid back parents ever. But no. I wouldn't leave them to get themselves to get to school until comp.

[KevinAndMe]

I would have no issue with a Y6 child. In a year's time, he will also have to stay on his own at home all day long, go to school and come back on his own etc... I would much prefer if he was staring to learn to be independent now rather than later.

Y4 sounds a bit young for me but by the same standard they were going out for an hour on their own at that age, sometimes going away further than your school is and I've never seen it a problem.

My question would be:
Have both children been used to be that independent?
Have you keft them for 45mins on their own, or maybe ging out to play for that leb]nght of time?
How reliable are they about doing what they are supposed to do, taking all the stuff they need etc? (eg if they need toi take a bad with some dressing up stuff in, things to make a project etc... will they think about picking the bag next to their school bag?)

[KevinAndMe]

Another question i of course, how do they feel about it?

[AvaCrowder]

I had this conversation when I was considering my dd1 getting herself to school in y6, with my mum's Dutch friend. He did a wtf face and said that at her age he was walking past German tanks to school.
Sometimes when we have to be more responsible we can be.

[SimLondon]

How many attempted child abductions in your area OP? in mine - within 2 miles there has been one every couple of months this year, that's something you've thought about, right?

[OurBlanche]

Is that another form of a Godwin?

[LyndaNotLinda]

Where I live some year 3s go to and from school alone. In Germany, my friend's 5 year old walks to school alone. A lot of this stuff is cultural. It has bugger all to do with risk.