To leave my dcs to get themselves to school?

[Carlywurly]

They're year 4 and year 6. School is a safe 3-4 min walk from home.
I need to leave by 7.55 to get to work on time, they'd need to leave at 8.25 to get to school for 8.30 with lessons starting at 845.

We have a Yale lock - they wouldn't need to lock up. I would plan on putting coats and bags by the door and setting an alarm for them to remind them when to leave.

I feel they're fine watching TV for 30 mins and letting themselves out but a friend's reaction suggested she thought I was mad. We have lots of friendly neighbours very close by.

This is therefore, a genuine Aibu - happy to be told if I'm being daft even thinking this.

[AvaCrowder]

Sorry it wasn't Godwin. A pp said about evacuees, so I thought ww2 was fair game.

Lynda I understand but the little ones in Germany are being seen out of the door by their mothers. And the kg will call if they are late.

[BackforGood]

I wouldn't, and I'm generally pretty laid back on these threads.
The Yr 6 - possibly. Depends on the personality, but not the 8yr old.

Maybe for some 'one off' reason where there wasn't an alternative, but I wouldn't set off with this as a plan for the year. I just think they are too young.

[MummySparkle]

I think I walked to school by myself aged 8, sounds like a similar distance away from your school. My parents were always at home when I left though. The odd morning they weren't I had to go and sit outside the school gates until they opened (no breakfast club in those days). Not sure I would leave mine home alone at that age. You say you have friendly neighbours, could you drop them off ready-to-go at a friends so they could walk with their children?

[HoopsAlot]

Very late to thread but I don't think it's a problem if your children are sensible.

I set my own alarm and looked after myself by age 8 in terms of going to school alone.
All children are different but if they are sensible and can be independent easily then it isn't a problem Imo.

If you think it's fine then it is you don't need mn to justify it.

[HoopsAlot]

And my school was 10 min walk as opposed to your 3-4 min

[multivac]

Haven't RTFT - but my kids have been doing this reasonably regularly since Y5. Partner is often away for work; I have to leave at 8am. If that's the case, they get themselves to school, leaving on their bikes at 8.30.

They have always been pretty independent in the mornings - and by 8am they will invariably be up, breakfasted and dressed. They like school, and are compliant as a rule. I do think the twin-thing helps, as they are never on their own, whilst still not having responsibility for a younger sibling.

[multivac]

Oh, and mine have never needed an alarm to leave the house on time.

[Bulbasaur]

"Sorry OP, I read this as a 4 and 6 year old, not children in year 4 and 6 which is very different. Apologies. Had three hours sleep last night!"

I read it this way too!

That's plenty old enough to walk to school and suffer the wrath of mom if they skip.

[Marynary]

This thread does remind me of one of dd1s friend who used to have to get herself to school from year 5. She was often quite late and didn't always have time for breakfast before she went. I thought her mother was quite neglectful but I'm sure that she would insist that her daughter was very mature, sensible etc etc.

[multivac]

Wow, marynary. A friend of your daughter was often late for school having not had breakfast... and you did sod all about it apart from sharing it on the
internet?

Well done, you!

[Marynary]

Wow, marynary. A friend of your daughter was often late for school having not had breakfast... and you did sod all about it apart from sharing it on the
internet?

Well done, you!

And what do you think I should have done????

[Marynary]

Wow, marynary. A friend of your daughter was often late for school having not had breakfast... and you did sod all about it apart from sharing it on the
internet?

Well done, you!

And what do you think I should have done??

[Pippioddstocking]

No way , I wouldn't do it , too young and not fair on them . They could possibly do it but would they prefer mum to , yes of course .

[IAmNotAWitch]

Sounds fine to me and how I grew up.

We do similar with DS1 and have done since around 9am. He has walked to/from school alone since 7.

I don't live in the UK and people here are far more relaxed around this stuff.

[Playnicelyforfiveminutes]

Mine are the same age OP and personally I wouldn't. Might change my mind in 6 months but I don't think they would have a motive to get going on time if I wasn't there to shoo them along.

Also, i think they would do a lousy job on their teeth, hair, forget homework etc, or even have an argument

That's just mine of course

[Dixiechickonhols]

No I'd say definitely too young. Mine is 9 and calls for friends on estate/plays on park.

She is sensible as are her two 10 yr old yr 6 friends. But they sometimes all troop in or out and leave the front door open. They also regularly forget to take coats home even when they are hung on newel post.

Whilst they may be ok as a one off if anything went awry then they wont have maturity to cope.

eg they shut the door and realise one school bag is still in the hall. Child is upset and refuses to go to school as he thinks he will be in trouble - does the 8 yr old stay with the crying 10 yr old or walk alone.

They are so absorbed in tv they miss the alarm (This would be my DD)

NSPCC guidance is that an under 16 doesn't mind a younger child.

[HearTheThunderRoar]

I use to leave my 10 year old in the school playground which was unstaffed just after 8am two days a week when DH worked away as I started work 830 and had a 30 minuet commute. It was a small village primary school and a teacher normally turned up between 8:15-8:30.

She enjoyed it, she said she got the whole playground to herself

[nokidshere]

I wouldn't have a problem with it if it were just the eldest child but I would not leave a yr6 child with responsibility for a younger sibling.

[nicoleshitzinger]

Mine are 10 and 12 and no, I wouldn't do this on a regular basis.

But I am a wee bit clucky.

[chrome100]

I think it's fine and it's refreshing to see a thread where children are actually being given responsibility. We really do not credit children with enough wit and intelligence these days. Why not try it and if it doesn't work, rethink. At least give it a go.

[multivac]

"They could possibly do it but would they prefer mum to , yes of course"

Why do you think that? My kids enjoy the independence. I'm not allowed to pick them up after school any more, either. sniffs

[NatalieMc82]

I agree with the past poster who said it was cultural - even within the UK..
Where I grew up (southeast England, home counties) children had / have very little freedom, are ferried to and from school and accompanied right to the playground for all of primary, never play outside etc.. Where I now live and raise my children (northeast Scotland) things are much much more relaxed, and I think what the OP was suggesting would be much more normal. My 8 y/o ds would be mortified if I walked him to school!!
Just wondering if there is maybe a north / south divide within the opinions (or maybe that is just my experience).

[LynetteScavo]

I'm sure it is cultural.

I bet kids all over the world get themselves to school.

Just not many in the UK.

I know one primary school head teacher who intervened when a very sensible 8yo who lived next to the school walked home and was alone for half an hour.

[Carlywurly]

Thanks everyone, I haven't posted today but I've been thinking about this lots, I think there's something in the cultural theory. Round here crime is virtually non existent and children are very active and outdoorsy. It's normal for them to have a degree of freedom on beaches, riding their bikes and at the park. Tbh that's how I grew up. I was taught some basic self defence by my parents, drilled on what to do if there was an accident or we were approached by a stranger and left to get on with it. I now remember a lovely childhood of exploring and adventures with my friends.

There have been no attempted abductions or reports in this area, for the poster who asked. That doesn't mean it couldn't happen of course, and if it did I'm sure it would change my perspective completely, but on a 150 yard walk to school off the main road past lots of cottages I'm not currently seeing a level of risk which would stop me letting them walk. There are plenty of people around including crossing patrol.

They've been allowed to walk to the village park together this summer (after lots of drilling and road safety practise). It's next to the school so they're well used to the route. Other than that, I occasionally leave them for up to 15-20 mins to go the post office or a nearby errand. They're invariably parked in front of the TV where they've been left when I return. For school holidays they've been in holiday club or with visiting family at all times. They've never ever been left alone while I work.

I'm worried about how my eldest will cope taking public transport to secondary next year if not given some measured level of responsibility this year. I do agree it may be too soon for the younger one. For what it's worth I have never ever told the elder or even implied that they have responsibility for the younger one. I encourage them to look out for each other.

They are generally sensible, compliant children and the youngest is mature and independent beyond their years. They are keen to be allowed to walk. That all said, I will be taking them to breakfast club tomorrow. I'll then allow them to do a couple of practise runs on getting themselves out later in the week when I'm not working and am on hand to supervise. If all goes well it may be something we trial once or twice a week once we've made arrangements for nearby neighbours and friends to be on hand or knock for them.

I do appreciate this has divided opinion but I also feel independence has to start somewhere. I'd be really interested in discussing this further, possibly on a less contentious thread!

[squiby2004]

My DD did this from Xmas to July in prep for secondary school this September. She had to put the puppy in his crate, lock front door, activate alarm with her fob. She handled it brilliantly, came home alone to. My alarm rings me to tell me when she has used her fob so I knew she had left and that she was on time. It rings me when she gets home too.