My ex was always very hands-on with the kids and when we split up I promised him he could see the kids whenever he wanted (I am prime carer as he has the career). For the past 4 years he has seen my boys every weekend - he has now moved away from the family home so I've always had them Mon-Fri then they go to his for the weekend, which also works for me as I have to work every Saturday in order to make ends meet. A few months ago he remarried and reassured the boys that nothing would change. They adore their father and look forward to seeing him on a Friday and get very upset if there is any change in this arrangement, which happens from time to time.
So far this has worked well, I work six days a week and have Sunday to recharge, get jobs done, see friends etc. Works for me, works for him, works for the boys.
However having the new wife has changed this and he now wants to formally change things so that the kids come back a day early every other Saturday so the boys will only have 24 hours with him instead of 48 and he gets a day of "grown-up time" with his wife (what so the other five days are not enough...?).
From a purely selfish point of view I'm gutted as this means I lose my "day off" from work and kids, which means so much to me, especially having a boy with special needs, and have been having some behavioural problems with the other one also. I get no break otherwise as family are not around to help. Also I think the boys will react really badly - the new wife arrives, they get pushed out...
I've told him that the boys are going to feel really hurt and rejected but he is determined to go through with the change and "manage" their anger and sadness. He also proposes lying to them by not telling them outright that things are changing but just every other week saying oh this week you are going to be with mummy on a Sunday.
I do understand though that he needs some time for himself and for his new relationship. Tell me, am I being unreasonable, or is he?