To think you should go 'out out' less when you are a mum?

[Notimefortossers]

I've got two friends who still love to go out loads even though they've got kids. One is a single mum and whilst I can see where she might need the release it means she asks friends to have her DS A LOT, often overnight or even for a couple of days. The other has a DP, but told me tonight that her DD (4) still cries every single time she goes out . . . which by her own admission is A LOT! I can't help feeling sorry for the kids! They're only little for such a short time and they need there Mama's don't they?
My DH and I used to be quite the party animals, but it's mostly stopped since we've had kids. We still relish going out when we do (probably about 3 times a year and usually for something we feel we have to go to like a wedding, birthday work event etc or sometimes because we REALLY need it!) . . . AIBU to think that once you've had kids you ought to dial it down and do what's best for them? We've got years of going out still ahead of us when they're grown!
How often do others go out? Maybe I'm the weird one! x

Another point is, families/ couples are all at different stages and have plans together that will help them in the future.. Me and Mrs Bough have both been chastised and gossiped about because we haven't turned up to a few social engagements.. I do think that women put each other under tremendous amounts of pressure to conform to the group demands..

And even a few of my old friends have wondered why I have gone off the radar..

But we are saving a deposit for our own house £20,000 in 12 months, both our businesses are expanding, new vehicles for the businesses, and we will also have zero debts, our children are starting school and learning to swim etc... Oh and we want a sports car so we can whizz around on a weekend, taking our tent with us.. Plus the children are our also part of our identity and we both love being in a family unit..

Life is full enough without hen do's, stag do's and meals in shite restaurants and feeling under peer pressure.
We do have access to a babysitter and we have booked an overnight for next weekend, so we can go for a lovely meal and boogie the night away at a bar my mate owns..

Not everyone can afford to pay babysitters

notimefortossers because me and my boyfriends exes both have nothing to do with our kids so we literally have no free time.

What's the going rate for a babysitter in the UK for an evening (3 or 4 hours) out of interest?

Oh my god, OP will be horrified by me. I am going to go out all day every Saturday for the next year, while working Monday to Friday.

I am doing a fast track qualification with Saturday teaching to further my career, but my 4yo is thoroughly unimpressed with me. Sometimes I might even then go to the pub afterwards..

Would love to know what nortonhouse said!

I go out once a week on a Monday night. I leave at 6:30 and get back at 10. ifiwasabadger I pay £10ph but that is for a nanny who reduces her rate because her husband comes with her and when the kids are fast asleep they use my gym (obviously with baby moniter).

Sometimes I just sit in the car and read a book undisturbed or I go to a pub and eat (don't drink alcohol) by myself, I tend to go to one where a fair few of my friends frequent so often there are people there for me to be social with and I also have a huge crush on the owner so I chat to him a lot.

It's really useful to me to know that for those few hours I don't have to be responsible for everything and I can just do what I wamt even if I don't want to do much.and it's nice to do something not child or work related

We pay a £5 an hr and we recently stopped away for a wedding and our childminder charged us £150 for a full day and night on the Sat and half a day Sun..