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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not enjoy my children's childhoods?

217 replies

Maisieknew · 02/09/2015 08:38

It's the back to school inevitability that's prompted this.

My feelings here are really conflicted as I think if I could have my time over I'd still have children. But I don't enjoy them as children. I find the sort of family based activities for young (primary school aged and under) so tedious and largely pointless and I don't enjoy a lot of the things you're supposed to enjoy and take pride in (I hate school plays, parents evening bored me to tears, I just can't get excited about sports day.)

I don't know if I am alone and I do love them - I just don't find under 12s interest me much.

OP posts:
BoboChic · 04/09/2015 20:37

I think parents impose artificial restrictions on themselves when their DC are small. Babies and toddlers enjoy almost any adult activity.

StormCoat · 04/09/2015 20:44

I fear that babies and toddlers are universally disapproved of at the opera, theatre and classical concerts, Boho. And no, going to a stage version of Room in the Broom, or a children's version of The Magic Flute doesn't cut it. Grr.

SoThatwasSummer · 04/09/2015 20:47

Yes storm Sad.

I am struggling too op, I find toddler years crushingly hard. Physically and mentally imprisoned, in a constant state of stress and worry.

BoboChic · 04/09/2015 20:49

I had a year's pass to the Louvre when DD was 1.

SoThatwasSummer · 04/09/2015 20:51
  • WhoreGasm Fri 04-Sep-15 20:32:00

agree with your whole post except I found babies very easy, easy to pick up, always sleeping.

Toddlers NO, big NO.

The difference when you can sit with minimal worry that a toddler isn't going to grab a hot drink, never ever sit down and climb all over you. fucking hell hideous.

sitting with my older DC is a JOY.

SoThatwasSummer · 04/09/2015 20:52

bobo we took babies everywhere too, but no way I can do this with my noisy, always on the go, never ever sit still anywhere, that includes, car seats, never ever contemplate a high chair even, push chair CHILD.

We have taken her with the older to a few galleries and had to leave due to the noise.

A small baby that just wants to be held by mum...no problem!

BoboChic · 04/09/2015 21:02

I took DD all over the place when she was a toddler - lots of freedom to travel before the constraints of school.

superspamiam · 04/09/2015 21:09

I don't agree Bobochic, although I wish it were so. We've taken ours to museums and castles etc. To be honest it's so frustrating. All they want to do in run around and we end up walking round not being able to read any of the information. Better to leave them with grandparents and go on your own!

bigbuttons · 04/09/2015 21:39

Toddlers don't enjoy adult activities!

StormCoat · 04/09/2015 22:37

My toddler got us thrown out of the Musee Rodin, Bobo.

Siennasun · 04/09/2015 23:57

A lot of museums have sections dedicated to toddlers. I've generally found them to be very family friendly places.
We've taken DS to lots of museums and castles, I don't find it frustrating but I suppose that is down to DS. He's quite easily pleased.

BertieBotts · 05/09/2015 00:17

It depends why you're going. If you go for the child and are happy to go at their pace and look at what interests them then it won't be frustrating. If you want to have a leisurely walk around and look at things you want to look at without being interrupted then it's very difficult to do it while supervising a child.

TyneTeas · 05/09/2015 01:47

someone said to me recently about looking after kids:

Days are long but the years are short...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/09/2015 01:54

"Toddlers don't enjoy adult activities!"

Depends on what activities the adults enjoy, tbh. We enjoy walking in parks/ mountains/ bush etc., we enjoy going to zoos and wildlife parks, and going to museums/exhibitions of things that interest us (science museum, natural history museum type places). So far, both boys have enjoyed these things with us as well. I even took DS2 to the Warner Bros Harry Potter studios when he was only 6mo - he still has a huge grin on his face in all the photos!

Perhaps that's the thing - if the adults still enjoy things that children like too, then they're going to enjoy their children's childhoods that bit more, maybe. DH, for e.g., likes to play ball in the garden with them; I like to blow bubbles. We both like to play with toy trains. I guess it helps.

Goldenbear · 05/09/2015 04:15

Given that you don't really like 'children' until their 12th birthday, why do you have three of them? I could understand one as you wouldn't know that you didn't like children. Maybe you had the second for a sibling so you didn't have to interact with the first as much but why a third? The only people I know who have had three, love children, it makes no sense.

I think you need to get some perspective and actually realise how lucky you are to get to experience their childhood and a relationship with your 3 children. Writing off 12 years of each child's childhood is quite contemptuous in tone and I don't see how that is going to ever lay the foundations for a great set of relationships!

YeOldeTrout · 05/09/2015 08:09

Toddlers can definitely make adult activities very unenjoyable. Even now they aren't toddlers, if my kids are present I never get to sit and chat; my brats need someone to keep an eye on them.

Tiny 2yo DS running rather than walking set off the floor alarms so I had to leave a museum.

There's a serotonin change that goes on with teenagers, they can't take pleasure in small and ordinary things. So at least toddlers can genuinely enjoy a visit to museum or a walk in the park, and other things adults enjoy. Whereas teens just scream BORING!! and pine for WiFi, flashing lights and something scary to happen.

bigbuttons · 07/09/2015 16:42

my 3rd teen has had a brain transplant-there is nothing positive there AT ALL.

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