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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of being challenged for parking in a disabled space?

268 replies

hedgehogsdontbite · 01/09/2015 06:26

People think they're doing the righteous thing when they appoint themselves to the parking police but do they ever think about the impact they're having on the other person?

I was challenged yet again yesterday. The woman watched me park then stood in the space behind my car staring at me the whole time while I got out. Then snaps 'these spaces are for disabled people' as I walk past her.

Thing is, I have a blue badge which was out on my dashboard which shewouls have seen if she wasn't behind my car. But why do I even need to justify myself to some random in a supermarket carpark? I feel so intimidated by this kind of thing that I couldn't cope being in the shop so left. So now I need to go today instead, if I can get past the anxiety it's created.

AIBU to think 'just leave me the fuck alone'?

OP posts:
honkinghaddock · 01/09/2015 08:28

If you believe someone is misusing a blue badge then report it. Challenging directly is pointless.

CrohnicallyAspie · 01/09/2015 08:29

holiday I read an article that they are checking up in my area, when wardens check the badges they can phone the registered person to see where they are and therefore if the badge is being used correctly. If they see someone parking the warden can also ask to see the photo on the back to see if the person is there, it is an offence to refuse to show the photo. I think they found something like 5% being used incorrectly, so it does happen but rarely.

mollie123 · 01/09/2015 08:31

blue badges used to be much easier to get than it now is
there was some abuse of their use as there was nothing to stop the car being used without the qualified person being in it.
I think there is now a photograph included on the blue badge as well as the process being tightened up which is a step in the right direction.

  • perhaps there should be a rear window badge as well as a dashboard one so that someone walking behind the car can see it.
I am never in favour of abusive responses though unless the person is really aggressive Sad
BrideOfWankenstein · 01/09/2015 08:32

Came on here to say that you should get a bumper sticker, but I see you got it recommended by someone already. Hopefully you won't be asked about your blue badge again.

CrohnicallyAspie · 01/09/2015 08:33

A rear window badge would be a pain though- the badge belongs to the disabled person not the car, if they travelled in a different car it might be difficult for them to move the badge. And it's not necessary, people can just walk round the front to check!

Queeltie · 01/09/2015 08:36

honkinghaddock - I know lots of people where I live do report it, as the Council publishes the amount of people prosecuted as a result of reports from members of the public.
Blue Badges used to be fairly easy to get from a sympathetic GP. I know because my mum had one. She no longer has one because she doesn't meet the now strict criteria. She can walk, but she walks slowly and it does cause her some pain. But she can walk so no longer gets a Blue Badge.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 08:37

There are often reasons - I used to have a disability parking badge for my DS. He is autistic and it's not LACK of mobility that is the problem... More that he would ru out dangerously between cars. He was OK when I could pop him in a buggy, but there was a stage when he was too big to restrain safely, but didn't have the cognitive ability to restrain himself.So for 18 months, I had a parking pass.

it took a pretty serious complaint (AGAINST my son, by the way... by the driver who almost hit him) to get it... but it was a godsend.

His behaviour has improved to the point it is not longer required, but there ARE cases where no lack of mobility is required to prove a need for a blue badge.

Queeltie · 01/09/2015 08:40

Only in most places now if they receive top rate mobility DLA.

Groovee · 01/09/2015 08:50

You can receive a bb if you get standard PIP and it's the moving around element

honkinghaddock · 01/09/2015 08:54

I think running into the path of cars is impairment of mobility because it means you cannot get from a to b safely. Ds can walk but still has severely impaired mobility due to his autism and learning difficulties.

honkinghaddock · 01/09/2015 08:56

He only has low rate mobility dla.

mollie123 · 01/09/2015 09:02

why would it be any more difficult to move a rear shelf badge as well as a dashboard badge Hmm - not talking about a permanent sticker here

Queeltie · 01/09/2015 09:03

Some places might give you a Blue Badge, but my Local Authority won't.

Moln · 01/09/2015 09:04

I can understand how irritating it is to be challanged when you have every right to park there. However try to think of it as people are trying to ensure that those 'challanging' are trying to make sure that the spaces are kept for blue badge holders. Obviously this woman should have checked first and maybe (hopefully) she'd realise that if you pointed out your blue badge (you wouldn't need to talk)

That's not to say you don't get righteous rude people still (I still haven't forgotten you rude lady in lidl!!) but I don't think the majority are.

It might be easier for you to get a sticker for the back of your car if it's difficult for you to speak when confronted. Make life a tiny bit easier for yourself.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 09:07

Agreed honking - It took quite a serious incident for me to get one... DS simply wasn't safe. not being able to walk safely from A to B is an impairment of mobility. Regardless of whether the problem is slow or fast.

hazeyjane · 01/09/2015 09:08

I wonder if the people applying and having difficulty don't meet the criteria, which is a different issue altogether

Silver, it has become more difficult recently, and is especially difficult to get a blue badge for reasons other than mobility (eg a child of 6 with no danger awareness, sensory issues, prone to extreme meltdowns who needs constant close supervision and sometimes restraining, in a car park)

People shouldn't take it upon themselves to challenge people who park in disabled spaces. I don't know if anyone knows the story of Brian Holmes www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-25317133, it is an extreme example of someone aggressively challenging someone who they deemed not eligible to park in a BB space.

I carry a small card with a brief explanation of ds's genetic condition, because of a few people who have made comments about behaviour when we were out as a family. I shouldn't have to do this, but I would rather hand someone a card and deal with ds, than get upset or angry in front of our dcs.

we have had no comments about having a blue badge, but we have had comments about using disabled toilets, on one occasion having someone banging on the door shouting, 'this isn't a fucking baby change' whilst I was in there with dd1 and 2 and ds, they had seen us go in (ds was in his sn buggy) and decided we shouldn't be in there. Arseholes.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 01/09/2015 09:09

OP I am sorry you and others have to put up with such downright rudeness and judginess from strangers when out and about. It might be a good idea to teach yourself a learned response, so that each time, you are not caught off guard.

There is a separate very serious issue of a huge number of blue badges being misused - eg by middle aged children when their elderly parents are not with them, by families where a decesed person was entitled and they ahve not returned the badge, and thats not mentioning the photocopied and forged ones!
That said, I would have to KNOW someone and their circumstances well, before I could report them (and I would because i think their abuse of the system contributes to the kind of attitude the OP experiences). I would NEVER jude or question a stranger in a disabled bay. I am just grateful neither I nor any of my family NEED a badge or priority parking space.

Queeltie · 01/09/2015 09:13

Yes hazeyjane. Someone can have real problems walking, and not be entitled to a Blue Badge.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 01/09/2015 09:14

what an awful story hazey Sad

Original poster
hedgehogsdontbite · 01/09/2015 09:15

why would it be any more difficult to move a rear shelf badge as well as a dashboard badge hmm - not talking about a permanent sticker here

Why the Hmm face?

I can't reach the shelf in my car. On account of being disabled.

Why would it even be necessary? Parking wardens are perfectly capability of walking round the front to look at the one on the dashboard. It's not my job to make it easier for busybodies to carry out covert surveillance.

OP posts:
threenotfour · 01/09/2015 09:17

You absolutely don't have to justify yourself to people out and about when you are using your blue badge. I am sorry that people have acted like they have towards you. It must be awful and I do feel for you. I hope you have a better experience today when you go back.

However regarding the reaction again insancerre on here...wtf! She's just asking. I don't think the OP was clear and so insancerre was asking for clarification which happens on hundreds of threads online. OP you did bring your problem on to the public forum yourself. People should be able to ask questions without being shouted down. If you don't want to discuss it then don't air it on an online chat. "Is that good enough for you? Do you expect me to have to run through my medical history with you in the carpark at Tesco's?" was completely unnecessary. Reactions like this to normal questions do not help the lack of understanding about disabilities.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 09:18

I've also had issues with disabled toilets because DS doesn't LOOK disabled. I even had one woman BARGE in front of me because she HAD a baby (and therefore was more entitled to use the disabled loos than me!)

But DS cannot toilet by himself.

ohtheholidays · 01/09/2015 09:22

Honestly OP I thought I was the only one that ever had to put up with this.

We get this nearly every single time that we park in a disabled space,the worst thing is 99% of the time it's other people that aren't disabled and therefore don't need a disabled space that have a go at me.

Bloody idiots,3 of us are disabled as well,myself and 2 of our 5 children.The badge is there for everyone to see as is my wheelchair with me in it.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 01/09/2015 09:25

threenotfour
thats not very kind. try putting yourself in the OPs shoes. she came here frustrated about constantly being asked to justify herself, and then got it some more!

It is not Joe Publics place to police disabled parking bays - end of. There are inspectors and systems in place for challenging people. Why SHOULD the OP have to educate MNers who cant accept that if she has said she is entitled to a blude badge, then she is, and the reasons are private reasons that not everyone is comfy talking about, even on a semi anonymous forum!

as for the poster querying why you can't just remove a rear shelf badge, as its not that hard. words fail me. This shows absolutely the lack of any attempt at all to try to fathom just how difficult every day taks can be for people with disabilities. Something one person finds dead easy might be a real challenge or impossible for someone else. what is hard to grasp about that?

DoctorDonnaNoble · 01/09/2015 09:25

They are difficult to get! My mother had cancer of the inner ear resulting in the removal of the ear and much if the internal workings. This has left her with exceptionally poor balance - if someone comes close on her non-ear side she is at a high risk of falling. Because she had radiotherapy and not chemo she doesn't qualify on the cancer treatment front. Her lack of a blue badge means that she limits where she goes and when.

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