to be fed up of being challenged for parking in a disabled space?

[hedgehogsdontbite]

People think they're doing the righteous thing when they appoint themselves to the parking police but do they ever think about the impact they're having on the other person?

I was challenged yet again yesterday. The woman watched me park then stood in the space behind my car staring at me the whole time while I got out. Then snaps 'these spaces are for disabled people' as I walk past her.

Thing is, I have a blue badge which was out on my dashboard which shewouls have seen if she wasn't behind my car. But why do I even need to justify myself to some random in a supermarket carpark? I feel so intimidated by this kind of thing that I couldn't cope being in the shop so left. So now I need to go today instead, if I can get past the anxiety it's created.

AIBU to think 'just leave me the fuck alone'?

I think a badge on the back should help. You may still get tutters who assume you don't need one, but fuck 'em.

I have that problem Eponas. My mother doesn't drive but has a badge because she can't walk. I might easily be popping back alone to put some shopping in the car.

hedgehog - people can be horrible. So sorry you have to put up with this shit.

Can I just put in a word of defence for insanncerre, though? I think it was a genuine question. I had wondered too, and now I know something I didn't before - namely that people with autism can have physical difficulties as a result of their autism. So your answer was helpful and educational. I don't think people should be angry with someone just for asking a question.

No I agree it's not the 'job' of a less able person to educate anyone else about disabilities.

People just need to understand that other people have blue badges for good reasons. End of.

No one should feel thru have to discuss their or a family members medical history with anyone they don't wish to especially random strangers in the street.

So - did the person challenge even though hedgehogs has a badge displayed? Or did the person challenge without bothering to check? The question for me is - was the woman an idiot for not bothering to look for the blue badge, or being a complete arse for challenging in spite of the badge?

The badge was displayed but she wouldn't have seen it as she was only ever behind my car. So it was a challenge without bothering to check. The way she stared at me as I pulled in and got out make me think she'd decided I wasn't disabled based on my age and not dragging myself out of the car commando style confirmed her prejudice.

Hack definatly see your points and the internet is a helpful way of being educated without causing offence but a polite question on here isn't the same as a random stranger demanding information in a car park.

FFS its not easy to get a blue badge they dont just hand them out i,m struggling to get one for my severly autistic son who although has no physical disabillities but has absolutley no awareness of danger and nearly ran in front of a car on sunday so insancerre and potteringalong if someone has one they need it even if they dont look disabled enough for you!!

I am all for educating people but the main message is 'mind your own business in car parks'.

I think it's fair enough Incancerre asking on this forum. And thanks for explaining Hedgehogs.

I can't stand people being blue badge police.

I was about to say I never get this, but I have just realised I did last week! I have a blue badge for a neurological condition. Before DC I usually used a wheelchair. But to my delight I found that the Bugaboo we inherited from DSis is actually the perfect walking aid for me - it's just the right height, very stable and even has space for the shopping! Only downside is, it removes all evidence of my disability until DP forgets and wheels it away leaving me frozen to the spot.

So when I parked on double yellows the other day someone snootily helpfully pointed out traffic wardens I just said I had a blue badge and had checked with them in the past that it was ok to park there and swanned off. They aren't to know my mental map of the city is broken down into chunks of walkable distances with stopping points (benches, chair in M&S etc).

Point is, I don't notice it, because I know I need the space, and the badge, to allow me to do what I need (and want!) to do, and I don't give a shit if anyone thinks I shouldn't. And that's really all you need to remember hedgehog. You justified yourself to get the badge. End of. It really doesn't matter what anyone else, in rl or on MN, thinks

It makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't it Mehitabel. And it's just a taste of what it must be like for people in OPs situation. Horrid.

For those thinking they're doing a good deed taking upon themselves to 'police' the disabled bays: IMO the sort of person who would take up a disabled bay when they have no need for it isn't going to be put off by the occasional challenge.

There's a greater chance that constant challenging or pointedly 'looking' is going to upset someone who has a perfect right to be there than stopping unauthorized parking.

Mehitabel when you said

insancerre we do not have to educate you- you simply mind your own business! are you saying that you actually meant someone in a car park?

AIBU to think 'just leave me the fuck alone'?

No YANBU and YWNBU to say this out loud. This infuriates me and I hate it when people take it upon themselves to judge who should and shouldn't have a blue badge. It's not always about having a physical disability. Remember OP you are not answerable to these utter arseholes.

I think the only way to challenge someone parked in a disabled space without a badge is to politely say "excuse me, you've forgotten to put your blue badge up". (I once left someone a note under their windscreen wiper that was more hostile and then I saw they genuinely did have a blue badge but had failed to put it up, so I removed the note and started giving people the benefit of the doubt and/or minding my own business).

It has got much much harder to get a Blue Badge so that even people who do need them, can't get them. Where I live you have to get the mobility component of DLA/PIP. People who use wheelchairs get turned down for the mobility part of PIP.

Also I'm extremely at the disablist comments on here I expected better of MN

I think this trend for people taking it upon themselves to 'police' disabled parking (& generally be suspicious of all sorts of entitlements) has risen, at least in part, as a response to TV investigative reports on exposing 'cheats'. I remember seeing one which dealt with disabled parking. As I watched I remember feeling uncomfortable about some of the challenges, usually by store security type people. I know some people would probably call me apathetic but I really believe these type of challenges only makes it more difficult for the people who genuinely need whatever entitlements they are using.

I agree capsium. But misuse of Blue Badges is a common problem. My City cracked down on it on and lots of people have been prosecuted.

Testing testing - I think that is a good idea. I occasionally forget to put my blue badge out in the flurry of getting myself & DC out of car. I would welcome a polite 'excuse me you forgot your badge' as very helpful! As long as it wasn't said in a passive aggressive way (i.e. with the expectation that I don't have one) but in a helpful way.

Sorry you had to go through that OP - I would have a response prepared, so you know what to say - how about just a factual "the blue badge is on the dashboard." and walk away.

some people really love rules because it gives them a lovely sense of self-rightousness when they have a go at someone else for any infringements - but then i'm still annoyed at not having a response at the time to someone who told me I shouldn't be parking in the parent and child spaces with my 2 year old - because she was able to walk into the supermarket and "those spaces are for mums with babies who need them!"

To lighten the thread and hopefully cheer up the OP, about 15 years ago my friends mum had non Hodgkin's lymphoma. She got a blue badge whilst going through (horrendous and v dibilitating) chemo. When someone challenged her at the supermarket once, she took off her wig, and as she slapped her head she said "this a good enough reason for you love", blew her a kiss and walked away

There's a presumption here that all blue badges are always used correctly.
I went out for a big night last week with friends. One of them told us she'd driven into town, parked on street parking which you usually have to pay for with a maximum of 3 hours. She was delighted that she could collect the car the next day whenever she felt like it. All because she had her daughter's blue badge

That happens. And quite regularly in my experience. Not just with her. And so someone who needed that space was deprived of it for a day, effectively.
I don't think challenging people is the answer because I can only imagine how horrible it would be to deal with that but I don't know what, if anything, could be done about the likes of that woman.

OP YANBU, no one should challenge people using disabled spaces and I can understand why you felt upset. That person was wrong to do what they did.

I do think that it's ok for people to ask questions on this kind of thread though, otherwise how do we learn more about what's going on around us? It's great to be able to ask people who have real life experience on a forum as a topic comes up. I'm not sure anyone would ever think to google 'reasons people have a blue badge' and even if you did, I don't think you'd find a full answer.

FWIW I have applied for a blue badge (on behalf of someone else) and it was very easy, a short clear form stating what the criteria are and how person met them, badge issued shortly after with no further query. I just wanted to counter the people who said it was hard to get them in case it put others off applying. I wonder if the people applying and having difficulty don't meet the criteria, which is a different issue altogether.

I'm totally in support of those who need mobility badges getting them and using them, unquestioned by all.

I have to comment here though to say that I know someone who has done little exercise throughout life and now, in her 70s struggles to walk. She was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and duly applied for, and got, a blue badge. Since then it has been decided that she doesn't have RA (in fact the docs aren't sure what it is and she never discloses the full story re her limited exercise) but she still has and uses the badge.
This upsets me as she is effectively taking up a space that those more in need (as on this thread) should have largely because she doesn't want to walk, not because she can't.

I have to add that this person has coveted a badge for years and years and been highly envious of those who had one and could park nearer doors. I have pointed out to her the absurdity of this but there we have it.

op how about carrying some leaflets to hand out to the judgmental idiots explaining how much stress and upset their attitude causes disabled people, and suggesting they in future they just check for the blue badge and leave you the fuck alone