to be fed up of being challenged for parking in a disabled space?

[hedgehogsdontbite]

People think they're doing the righteous thing when they appoint themselves to the parking police but do they ever think about the impact they're having on the other person?

I was challenged yet again yesterday. The woman watched me park then stood in the space behind my car staring at me the whole time while I got out. Then snaps 'these spaces are for disabled people' as I walk past her.

Thing is, I have a blue badge which was out on my dashboard which shewouls have seen if she wasn't behind my car. But why do I even need to justify myself to some random in a supermarket carpark? I feel so intimidated by this kind of thing that I couldn't cope being in the shop so left. So now I need to go today instead, if I can get past the anxiety it's created.

AIBU to think 'just leave me the fuck alone'?

Cross podt

Do you want a fucking diagram itsrsining?

Jesus Christ on a bike. They don't give out blue badges for 'just any disability'. I do have 'genuine mobility issues'.

Thank you op. I didn't need you to explain on that much detail. I wouldst call that a hidden disability though.
I don't ever judge anyone who parks in a disabled parking space. It makes no difference to me. I don't drive

insancerre we do not have to educate you- you simply mind your own business! There are lots of reasons why you need a blue badge - if the person has one they need it- they do not have to justify to sanctimonious members of the public every time they use a car park.

The way this is going I think the only possible response is point to the badge and ignore.

The issue is tha it's really stressful having to explain and justify exceptions made for disability. My son was t entitled to a blue badge apparently so I know just how hard it is to get one.

It also pisses me off that I have to divulge his private medical information. In crowded queues just to get his poxy disabled/carers discount for stuff because he 'doesn't look disabled'. Life's fucking hard enough without ignorant gits wading in.

We don't then get those people shouting at us for using a disabled space but we get probably the same people shouting at me to vivid him a good smack when he's having a meltdown on the pavement.

Insancerre, the whole point is she's entitled to park there and it's no one's business to question it.

I consider myself a nosey fucker, I like to know everything about everyone. But nearly everything in life is none of my business.
If you wanted to police disabled spaces - check for a blue badge. If there isn't one politely enquire where it is, or just report it to customer services if you're somewhere like a shopping centre or supermarket.

You don't start accusing someone of looking fine (or typing fine!!) enough to not need a disabiled badge. No one owes you a life story.

OP - if it happens often could you get a little business card printed? They could have a message on that says "I am disabled and the government have decided my needs warrant a blue badge"

The other side can say Fuck Off.

Do you have a blue badge because of your autism or because of physical difficulties?

I have it because of my autism. Because part of my autism is low muscle tone, weakness, fatigue and hypermobility.

hedgehog next time this happens try to ignore and be very thankful you weren't brought up as ignorant as they are. You have my sympathies, I have a hidden illness and I'm luckily doing really well at the minute but this could be an issue I have in the future. I don't understand these people who feel the need to question total strangers? They must have very sad miserable lives!

You really shouldn't have to , but would it help to get one of those little disabled stickers for the back window of your car? Hopefully then the next busybody would see that and back the hell off before waiting and confronting you? Just a thought ...

This

Or this

Awful for you op and very annoying and wearing.

Why do prople assume they have a god given right to know the personal details of anyone else's medical conditions?

You have the badge that gives you the right to park there and that's down to a medical assessment.

No other fuckers business. Don't engage love just ignore.

MyCar that's a Good idea.

I have a blue badge and im also relativley young. If you saw me park up and walk off you would probably think there is nothing wrong with me as most of the time I don't even limp! However i had a large part of my foot amputated due to MRSA and consequently have no ball if my foot which basically means that when i walk there is no padding to cushion my foot. So if i walk too far or stand for too long it breaks down and then gets infected. I have never been challenged just let someone dare and they would feel my wrath! It is no ones elses business and its difficult enough coping with a negative self image caused by disability without judgemental ill informed idiots having a pop!

If you really are not comfortable replying or can't get the words out and it happens a lot, I would seriously consider keeping a stash of small leaflets in your car about hidden disabilities or even your specific condition. I'd put on the top, "I have been forced to print these due to the number of people who are so closed minded that they feel entitled to abuse me in public". It may seem a bit far fetched, but you will undoubtedly make these people think twice before opening their mouths in future.

I second the handing out cards that say you have the badge for a reason, with FUCK OFF NOSEY written on the back. Or I'll come with you shopping, nobody tells off interfering bam pots like a glaswegian try not to let these ignorant fuds ruin your days out when it happens.

Mehitabel6
insancerrewe do not have to educate you- you simply mind your own business!

But why wouldnt you want to educate them? Reduce the ignorance?

It's not easy to get a blue badge. People who have them, need them. The OP had one because she needs it. My child has one because he needs it. I would much rather park on the edge of every car park and my child have no disability than park in a disabled bay due to my child having disabilities.
I too have been on the receiving end of ignorant twats who question my parking in a disabled bay, I just treat them with the contempt that they deserve.

So basically OP you came on here upset about the treatment you received from a random in the car park and got the same from a random on MN. Well done Insancerre. Tell you what. Go and educate YOURSELF. HTH.

Ds has a blue badge for autism. Blue badges are not automatic for autism but you can get one if it severely impairs your mobility as it does with ds - sensory issues, lack of safety awareness, challenging behaviour.

You really shouldn't have to sad, but would it help to get one of those little disabled stickers for the back window of your car?

I hadn't thought of that and my initial response to your idea was 'no way'. I hate the idea of always being labelled in that way. I don't have my badge on permanent display, it goes out only when I have to. But I like the second one you've linked because it feels less about me and more about challenging them and their ignorance. I'm going to order one.

So - did the person challenge even though hedgehogs has a badge displayed? Or did the person challenge without bothering to check? The question for me is - was the woman an idiot for not bothering to look for the blue badge, or being a complete arse for challenging in spite of the badge?

I've been challenged; even with a blue badge on display. I take my mum out sometimes and she has a badge. There are times when i've popped back to the car for something, or we're shopping i've got to the car first with all the shopping while mum is back at the shop chatting for eg. I've had looks and twice a comment. For me it's ok. I enjoy seeing the catsbum faces change when mum elderly mum cheerfully appears walking with her stick. Also i'm not struggling with this OR a disability on a daily basis. It's just an occasional thing.

YANBU to be upset about being challenged OP It must be horrible 'waiting' for the challenge every day. I'd get anxious too. Just point at the blue badge and say - ''i'm entitled'', and walk away.

I don't agree that we don't need to educate people. No we don't need to give life stories but I have a ds with autism. I'd rather educate people to the true impact of that than have people stereotype from what else they read and see in the media. For a start I've seen very few information sources on autism point out the co morbids (sensory issues/ hypotonia) and the severe impact these can have.

Also, although it grates to do it, we need a balance and informative voices to counteract all the benefit, disability and blue badge bashing TV programmes. They may not actually deliberately bash disability but I've seen benefit programmes where it's hinted people want the benefits to receive more income to make life easier. Well yes we do - but not with the negative undertone these programmes deploy iyswim?

I have a friend who has MS and severe joint problems but she doesn't look ill and can walk short distances, she is always being harassed over parking and it really upsets her. People can be very rude and confrontational.

Op why not write to Tesco telling them what happened and asking them to think about putting up signs telling people not to challenge people parking in disabled spaces, due to the upset it causes to genuinely disabled people with a hidden disability, but report any concerns to security.

Hopefully BeautifulBatman she is getting educated on here. What I really meant was that it is not the job of the person in the disabled space in the car park to divulge their medical history.
I still don't think it is anyone's job- she should be able to work out for herself that there are a whole range of disabilities- not all require a wheelchair or stick.

Hugs hedgehog. Just ignore or politely reply i have one. Its their problem not yours. Xxx