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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do married couples actually have sex on wedding night?

228 replies

julesldn · 20/08/2015 01:39

Ok so not exactly an AIBU question but...

myself (not married) and some unmarried friends are discussing whether couples actually have sex on their wedding night, or are they too drunk/tired/emotional to DTD?

Any insights welcome - we're curious!

OP posts:
0pheliaBalls · 20/08/2015 22:52

Yep. We weren't going to let the beautiful four poster bed in the bridal suite go to waste! Much hilarity ensued next morning though when I realised I'd forgotten to pack my 'next day' clothes and had to go down to breakfast in my wedding dress Grin

LittleLionMansMummy · 20/08/2015 22:56

No. I had my period. Also, my bil and sil ruined the moment by putting rice crispies, strawberries and whipped cream all over the bed (without our knowledge obviously until we turned back the duvet and discovered the mess). We had to strip the bed and sleep with no duvet or sheets. To say I was pissed off is a massive understatement.

ouryve · 20/08/2015 22:57

I can't even remember. I've had a sleep since then.

QOD · 20/08/2015 22:58

Yep

millionsmom · 20/08/2015 23:02

Exh had Sex, but only so I couldn't divorce him. I felt trapped and didn't enjoy it at all.

Present DH, yes! But because we didn't dtd before we got married, when we did, it was like I was a virgin again and I bled. We decided to go watch Braveheart at the cinema.

SorrelForbes · 20/08/2015 23:20

My first wedding, no. He was very drunk but I found out later was actually having an affair with the woman to whom he is now married. In fact we never had sex again so probably could have had an annulment rather than a divorce!

My second wedding, yes. Small registry office do, posh lunch. Lots of gin followed by pizza at home and then sex Grin

honeyroar · 20/08/2015 23:52

No. Partly because the hotel managed to lock us out of the bridal suite and not answer the night phone, so we ended up going home, where my dad was staying. The person on night duty at the hotel had unplugged the phone, the owner, who was a friend, was mortified the next day.

StrumpersPlunkett · 21/08/2015 00:01

No we were very happily tired. Last to go to bed at 3.30am
Great day. Not at all bothered had the rest of our lives to make love.

CastielsClevererBetterSister · 21/08/2015 00:53

Yep. Left the bar at 3 am then made use of the entire bridal suite (ahem) for four hours. We slept the next day Grin

theoldtrout01876 · 21/08/2015 01:28

We got married in our garden. One HUGE piss up party followed. I crashed across the foot of my bed,still in my dress ( not a white flouncy one tho). Dh crashed face first on the den rug :o

Twas an epic wedding ( apart from my mate dragging me down stairs by the ankle to open presents after i crashed the first time. Bruises you say,never seen anything like them before or since )

LikeABadSethRogenMovie · 21/08/2015 02:23

This thread has reminded me of the things I really loved about our wedding. The wedding itself? Obviously was lovely, but I hadn't expected to feel just plain old embarrassed walking down the aisle. But it was an important church in our family.
The drive to the reception? Was the best fun. People were stopping their car and clapping. It was faaaaaaarrrrr too long but was when I felt the most special.
The reception? The absolute best parts of the reception happened from about 10pm to 5am. When most of the hangers on were leaving or had left. Definitely have the people you want to smoke cigars with and howl with laughter in the hotel.
If I were to get married again, I would ditch all the bits in the meantime.

PeanutsOnTheFloor · 21/08/2015 05:52

Yes, we did. We were tired and pretty drunk. I thought you had to on your wedding night actually! DH was still in shock as I realised I hadn't really eaten as I had been too excited during the day - so we ordered a sandwich which was about £100 on room service. I've also just remembered he ordered me champagne, chocolates and flowers for the room - in the bouquet was one of those massive penisy looking flowers!

YellowBucket · 21/08/2015 11:30

We had a bridal suite with the full works. I couldn't wait to get back to it at the end of the night!

Mentioned my eagerness (in relation to this thread Grin) to DH in the early hours of this morning and he reminded me that I actually made him stop off at the hotel between the meal and the evening do too Blush. I had forgotten!

LuluJakey1 · 21/08/2015 11:37

Bit odd this thread

'Ok so not exactly an AIBU question but...

myself (not married) and some unmarried friends are discussing whether couples actually have sex on their wedding night, or are they too drunk/tired/emotional to DTD?

Any insights welcome - we're curious!'

Is this some Daily Fail way of getting info? Have reported it.

19lottie82 · 21/08/2015 11:40

Is this some Daily Fail way of getting info? Have reported it.

Jesus Hmm

winedine · 21/08/2015 12:11

We didn't, got to bed at 4am and had to be up for 7am to get to the airport for the honeymoon. Did on the honeymoon though Grin

EponasWildDaughter · 21/08/2015 13:20

We intended to abstain for a week before our wedding night, just to up the sexual tension a bit. (We'd already been living together for 3 years).

It didn't work properly. Couldn't keep our hands off each other and ended up DTD the afternoon before our big day, in among all the packing cases, clothes and toiletries laid out on the bed for his overnight stay elsewhere that night, and all of our honeymoon stuff.

We were both knackered and pished on the wedding night, and i can't say it was the most energetic imaginative we've ever been, but we DTD. We'd been gifted the eye-wateringly expensive honeymoon suit for one night in our gorgeous stately home wedding venue; so it would have been a shame not to have made that four poster bed creak and squeak that night Grin

ShelaghTurner · 21/08/2015 13:59

OK, checked with DH, it seems I was wrong. We did do it on our wedding night, well, early next day really as we were the last ones to bed after all the guests had gone. It seems that he brought me back into the bed after I fell asleep in the bathroom and I woke up.

My memory is shocking.

Libitina · 21/08/2015 14:00

We did, I wanted a shag in my wedding dress Grin Grin

MadrigalElectromotive · 21/08/2015 14:06

Yes, it was lovely. Grin

Groovee · 21/08/2015 14:53

I was sober and dh hadn't had much! Once we got my hair out with hundreds of hair pins and berries we got round to it x

Original poster
julesldn · 21/08/2015 16:11

Lulujakey - oh no, can't believe I've been compared to the daily fail - my worst nightmare ????????????

Anyway, I'm not a journalist, just a genuine user having a debate with friends that I figured mumsnetters may be able to shed some light on - expected about 5 replies, have now almost hit 200!

Maybe it's because it's not really something people discuss in RL? (as I said, I wouldn't know... I'm not married!) also wasn't sure which other category to put it in?!

For those wondering, the debate is now pretty much settled (some do, some don't, sex the morning after seems popular) but we're still enjoying the stories Smile

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 21/08/2015 18:15

Sorry Jules. Just sounded a bit odd, written in present tense as if you had stopped mid-discussion to consult mnet. I am probably paranoid given all the hacking. It's the kind of thing the Daily Mail print when they have no news.

MummaV · 21/08/2015 18:26

We didn't, the walls in our hotel were paper thin and could hear DFIL snoring in the room next door.
As soon as we heard them go down to breakfast however......Wink

Original poster
julesldn · 21/08/2015 18:57

Lulujakey - to be fair, we did literally stop mid discussion for me to post the question (but only because we didn't have any married friends to ask!)

Understand about hacking paranoia though and don't get me started on the drivel the Mail class as 'news' during silly season (and the rest of the year...) ????????

OP posts: