"Mumsnet deserves it" blog

[MaryBerrysEyelashes]

lazygirluk.wordpress.com/2015/08/19/is-it-just-me-thinking-mumsnet-brought-the-dadsec-attack-on-itself/

I'd like to know who the moderators are.

This is why Mumsnet was hacked

if i hated a website lots I just would avoid it I think, not still go on about it two years later

This is a site for adults. I've never in ten years (being mainly a lurker so am definitely not part of any clique) seen any bullying or offensive behaviour that goes unchecked. If anyone says something nasty you can tell them to fuck off, what's not to like?

In my type of social commentary blogging you do tend to attract the crazies and those who do not agree and will happily be as nasty as sin to you.

Or do you not think that perhaps your blog is just not that good, which is why people don't fawn all over you?

I have never been catty or bashed anyone in my life. The comment I attempted to place on the blog stated my opinion. I can't help but feel, that as others have said, this is bait to raise traffic on a blog, rather than an attempt at a reasoned debate.

Again, I have not said anyone deserves it and have said I don't condone it.

I'm not victim blaming, I am genuinely trying to call on MNHQ to actually look at the practices employed on the forums, and take action on any forms of bullying, not just be selective based on member.

I merely posted on a forum a few years ago and was told by members who faced no sanction for it to "go and die", that I was a C**t and that my children were weak and wimpy. I then asked, politely, by PM that the ringleader please leave me alone, and was told off for it by MNHQ. Yet, when I appealed for the comments above to be dealt with, they did nothing.

As I said, selective sanctions. Other groups I am a member of and have been for many years can manage to sanction those whop don't behave and thus make the whole site look bad. I fail to see why MNHQ is any different.

why do you care?

And.... didnt you say you were banned anyway?

You seriously thing that a few randoms being mean to you on a forum 2 years ago means that the founders of the forum 'shouldn't be surprised' to have a SWAT team arrive at their house in the middle of the night? That's seriously fucked up.

MN wasn't hacked, and Justine wasn't swatted because people thought that there were too many rotten meanies saying things they didn't like. It was attacked because we have the audacity to say anything at all.

No, its certainly not posted to add to stats, stats mean very little to me. I've blogged for ten years, I really don't take note of stats etc. I'm a blogger who actively encourages all bloggers to "sod the stats" and DA and blog because they enjoy blogging.

I don't expect people to "fawn over me". I know there are some bloggers who do (The Blogger Blackmail incident just this week proves that). To me, its a hobby, I write as I enjoy writing in my spare time.

I know there is a selection of bloggers who tweet their links every five minutes. I don't. If people find it, great. If not, fine too.

I would think to be fair thats the best course of action, as the comments received in the most part back up what I've said about the chasing across social media to snark.

Eh? you posted on 'social media' regarding this site. You invite comment. Did you expect that no one from here would want to offer an opinion?

It isn't very well written, yes you have clearly had unpleasant experiences but you are citing that as the basis for a whole lot of assumption about a website with 7 million members.

I daresay many of us have had unpleasant experiences on here. It isn't always totally fair. I would not go so far to say it is deliberately biased.

The first comment on that piece was labelled as 'bitchy' when it was pointing out the failings in your own writing. If that's how you address every negative comment then frankly there's no point engaging with you at all.

If its not about "meanies on a site", why were members so quick to blame Fathers4 Justice?

I care as I have spoken to many people who have come here for advice and been attacked for no reason. Called "weak". Made to feel even worse than when they first logged in for advice.

Why then, to turn it to those who ask why I care, do these few trolls care enough to come online simply to scout the boards for easy targets?

Even this morning, a lady has contacted me and said that you cannot even point out troll behavior on here, and she had seen personally some atrocious attacks on a forum which could be a vital support network like the grief forums. Why would anyone in their right minds want to troll people grieving?

the20

In part I can see where you are coming from.
I first joined in 2012, I had never joined a chat room before but was directed to MN via Google. I de-regged after a few hours.
I was bullied on the thread I started, and then someone started a separate one just to slate me.
I was told I was too stupid for MN, my spelling and not using the correct terminology was the reason apparently. Some posters changed their nn just to take the piss out of me and MNHQ advised me to leave the thread name change and start again. Apart from a couple of AHEM posts they did nothing to stamp out what was clearly a group attack on a single poster.
Some members were kind, some pm'ed me offering support but stated they were to scared to do so on the thread as they feared the "pack" would turn on them. My post was not goady, racist, mysoginistic or offensive I simply introduced myself and it went wrong.

Around 6 months later I came back. I didn't post straight away and instead spent time sushi get out the site learning the terminology and generally trying to understand it.
I will never forget that experience however what I do appreciate is that while there is some level of bullying it is overshadowed by the support I have seen.
I have witnessed posters on the very edge who have been supported by strangers to change their life. I have seen posters so desperate they cannot feed their children been overwhelmed by the generosity of posters who give their time, ideas, unwanted goods just to help a stranger. People who face great tragedy have been comforted by a wooly hug, a kind post from another in the same positition, a virtual hug.

So while I agree with you on some level I feel you have left out the other side of the MN coin. For me if you are presenting an opinion you need to ensure it is factual and fair. This is not a site over run with bullies they are but a small few and your blog does not truly reflect the whole of MN.

P.S I have lost my shit on a thread before and being so caught up in getting my point across I have come across as bullish. Doesn't mean I am a bully just means I forgot this is only the Internet and I need to chill out.

Huh? So trolls are now something Justine needs to apologise for too?

Well said Stan!

Sorry, but I've never seen comments like that be left to stand. No matter who made them, or who they were aimed at. I won't deny that sometimes the tone is rough on here, and I've often reported or commented on threads that have gone too far. I've never seen anyone be called a cunt, and that comment not be deleted.

Would you say to a child who was thumped that he should reconsider his behaviour towards other children? Would you say 'well, you said a nasty word 3 months ago and so you deserved to be punched in the face?'.

How about you try to work up a bit of empathy towards the children of Justine and the other Mumsnet user whose children were woken in the night by armed police, instead of harping on about people being nasty to you several years ago?

Firstly, 20something... you're somewhat delusional if you think every single post is going to be scrutinised by Big Brother. If you don't enjoy participating, why stay? Or is it to gain some perverse kind of pathetic notoriety?

Who do you think you are to tell the rest of us that we're doing it all wrong and we must conform to your ideas of social decency on a forum just for ADULTS?

I enjoy the robust banter and all the daft fuckers and cunts too, so that's why I stay. If I didn't I'd quietly go and join Netmums. I certainly wouldn't presume to complain that I didn't like the rules and can't we all just sit down with a nice cup of tea and a jolly chat.

Now do us a favour and Bugger Off!

Good post Stan. I agree with every word. There is bullying and unpleasantness though I would quantify that with, robust opinions sometimes being taken as hurtful by posters not used to it or expecting something else. Agree also, that it's easy to get carried away when you feel strongly about something and the argument is not in person. However there are far, far worse forums for bullying than this one, yet somehow they're never brought to prominence or constantly dismissed as a predominantly bullying or mean spirited place. To me it's obvious that this is perceived to be a place dominated by women and that's why it arouses such vitriol. It's true this place is not for the faint hearted but why should it be?

I had a similar experience to Stan. My first post was on AIBU, and I was roundly attacked by one particular bitchy member of Mumsnet royalty (now departed), though others were supportive. But I have since seen (and received) incredible support here, and am amazed at the generosity of posters on some of the boards who have helped strangers through some really dark times.

No, you can't call someone a troll on a thread. MNHQ want suspicions of trolling reported directly to them. There's an obvious reason for this, but since you don't seem to get it, it's because there is a danger of someone vulnerable and in need of support being called a troll if someone else decides they don't quite believe their story.

To be frank, if you want to extrapolate a couple of anecdotes as evidence, and equate the behaviour of a few people with that of millions of women who use this site, then you have no business being a writer.

"I merely posted on a forum a few years ago"

Nonsense.

What about the hugely offensive, disabilist insults you were flinging out at MNers? You gave as good as you got.

I cannot believe you even suggested Justine take some responsibility for the swatting attack on her and the other MNer.

Do you have any idea how violated and scared they and their families must have felt? They have children FFS.

The only people to blame here are the scumbag hackers.

I'm afraid this blog post sums you up 20something, and it ain't pretty.

Thanks Nicki & Lavender.

I have no issues with the blog I just feel that those who write such blogs and put their opinion/experience out there have a responsibility to make it credible. Write about the bullying but also take the time to make sure that you research the whole site as I am much more receptive to writers/bloggers who show that they have put in the effort.
A one sided argument isn't a debate...it's just talking to yourself.

Disabilist? Interesting, I thought there must be more to this.

Anti Disabilist? No, never done it- my son is disabled so that's utter rot.

Again, I think that some of you have failed to read the post, and sadly even though some have read my original post into my time on MN, you fail to see that I said that I had some very good experience of it.

My issue was that, despite being called some atrocious names for making a sarcastic comment along with several others, despite asking that the moderators deal with, and despite name changing and then coming back, this group continued their abuse and the mods did nothing. I hope this has changed now, I really do.
I then PM the ringleader, as I said, no swearing, no nastiness, just a direct request that, should I be so offensive to her that she may like to leave me alone, I was removed. I asked MNHQ by email several times why. They ignored me. I asked on Twitter. They ignored me. It was only after other Bloggers asked and backed me up on Facebook when I asked once and for all for an explanation, and offered them right of reply on my post that they decided to give me a lackluster response, that I had been offensive to the member who had called me some appalling names.

I have never, and never would, be nasty to disabled people. Never, ever.