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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it be a total faux pas to do this on mn?

179 replies

Freeble · 17/08/2015 00:39

We don't hug and we don't hun, right? I think I've got that, spesh from the nm vs mn debate.
But there are a couple of posters in the last few days that I've noticed and I've thought- bloody good point and I like the sound of you.

Do we pm each other and strike up friendships? Or is that way too weird and stalkery and I should without doubt desist?

OP posts:
Quietlifenotonyournelly · 17/08/2015 07:43

I don't think that there's any harm in sending a pm, I tend to occasionally pm if there's a bit of advice I'd like to pass on to a poster that may be helpful to them but not want to post on a thread especially if there are goady posters about that are being unhelpful . Therefore, YANBU.

Mrsjayy · 17/08/2015 08:17

I pm rarely but if you want to Pm somebody then do it the worst that can happen is they dont respond you might feel weird about it for ooo 30 seconds but then you move on.

HSMMaCM · 17/08/2015 08:47

I've PMd someone with similar interests to me, who was attending the same event in London. We met up for coffee while we were there and regularly chat on here. We live miles apart, but it's nice to chat occasioanally.

Coconutty · 17/08/2015 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McColonel · 17/08/2015 09:03

It saddens me to see all the miserable people on here telling the OP not to PM people to make friends.

Why not??

What's wrong with people?

OP, if you PM someone to start a conversation and potential friendship, and they think you're weird for doing that, it's not someone you'd want to be friends with anyway.

I hate his attitude some people have. Like those people that thinks any person they don't know who talks to them is a weirdo.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 17/08/2015 09:07

I don't hun, but I hug.
or fist bump if we need to pretend we are cool as ice.

PM people if you like, but don't be upset if they don't reply.
I hope you make new friends

this isn't an AIBU though Wink

Mrsjayy · 17/08/2015 09:11

I hug mumsnetters and i dont even apologise

Isthereeverarightime1 · 17/08/2015 09:13

I was on the antenatal group and had a pm from someone, we got chatting and turned out we lived very close, we spent a lot of our maternity together and now we meet up every week with our toddlers so have become friends. It can and does happen so I would say Go for it! We spent a lot of time talking by pm and then Facebook we had a lot in common Smile

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/08/2015 09:14

I've offered a hug if someone is upset or had bad news.

I don't care if it's considered bad form.

Littleen · 17/08/2015 09:14

I'm in a huge group of mumsnetters and we've all met up :D Got some lovely IRL friends from it!

scarletforya · 17/08/2015 09:16

Don't. It's weird, stalky and needy.

Mrsjayy · 17/08/2015 09:19

Its not weird stalky or needy dont be silly this is social network we are all chatting we are all strangers if its stalky and weird whats the difference in an open forum

AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 09:19

I have had a few pm's apropos of not very much really

Mostly to say "thanks" or to agree with something I said, or to direct my attention to something. I always reply nicely.

I have also had some abusive pm's. They weren't so nice. I don't engage with those.

NickiFury · 17/08/2015 09:25

I've got some lovely mates I met on MN. Yes to PM, that's what I and they did Smile

Dawndonnaagain · 17/08/2015 09:38

I've met up with one or two people from here. If you like the sound of someone get a conversation going.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/08/2015 09:42

It's not bad form to hug someone if they're upset or have had bad news - I do that too so it can't be Wink

I don't do it in general and never hun anyone - but hugs are often found on the bereavement and relationships boards.

TwartFaceBeetj · 17/08/2015 09:54

Pm them you have nothing to lose, it's not weird or stalky. I've had pm about alsorts of stuff mn related, and chat away for a bit. Some I keep in regular contact, I've also pm people if I think they need an added bit of support. I've not met up with anybody yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if I do sometime in the future.

But as a previous poster has said you may find the poster you utterly agreed with and you thought yeah my kinda of person, leaves you opened mouthed with astonishment on another thread. So maybe give it a little bit of time before jumping straight in Wink

I also [Hug] when needed, sometimes I apologise for it sometimes I don't.

Mrsjayy · 17/08/2015 09:54

I remember somebody huned me in real life I recoiled in horror Grin it just sounds so I dunno false (maybe not the right word)

Original poster
Freeble · 17/08/2015 09:59

Haha you are all funny and that's why I love mumsnet! But I won't- I'll prob join the local board. It was a thread recently that someone started and I was like- I like the sound of her! She sounds fun and sensible and kind. And I'm probably a bit lonely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeble · 17/08/2015 10:01

And that's the thing with the constant name changing- which I like as we all protect our anonymity- that I was thinking I should message while it was on my mind. But also as pp have said I might be absolutely astonished on another thread!

OP posts:
thornrose · 17/08/2015 10:08

As my mum would say " what's the worst that could happen!"

Nanny0gg · 17/08/2015 10:11

A huge HELL NO to a hugs emoticon though! I'd love a vomit emoticon (vomiticon if you will)

Emeticon?

Grin
SophiePen · 17/08/2015 10:15

Yes, you sound a bit lonely. It's probably time to address that IRL but this isn't the place to look for private friendships.

Why can't you just post on the thread to say 'I agree with you, excellent post'? Why does it have to be a PM?

What are you hoping will happen?

thornrose · 17/08/2015 10:16

I just use the green envy face for vom. Grin

midnightvelvetPart2 · 17/08/2015 10:17

I always reply to PMs, even the ones saying 'I found this on Google, you wrote it 5+ years ago but can I ask you about it now...' :) :)

I wouldn't be interested in making RL friends sorry, & its not personal at all, its one of the reasons why I don't use the Local boards & meet ups either. I've talked a lot about my past experiences when a poster is going through the same & its stuff I don't tend to share in RL. I love the anonymity of MN.

Try Local OP if you wish to make friends locally :)