To find it very irritating when parents will go to any length to avoid upsetting their child?

[Audrella]

Even when it means upsetting others in the process just to avoid their precious little flower from being upset.

Yesterday I took DS out with a friend and her DS, who is the same age as my son. My friend spoils her son a lot; he is quite demanding (the boys are 7), and she will do things like start talking to me and he'll make the smallest demand murmur and she will never make him wait, she'll just walk off to do whatever he wants. Anyway, yesterday my friend's DS suddenly started saying that my son's name is short for a really horrible, old fashioned name that was obviously going to wind my DS up. DS came over to me with the other boy and said "My name's not short for X is it, mum?" and I said "no, of course it's not". The other boy then started crying and my friend soothingly murmured "Yes darling, it IS short for X". Rather than tell her son he was wrong!

DS also recently had a party. One child had a tantrum when I gave out the party bags because he didn't like what was in them. Instead of telling him that it was tough luck, the mum kept being all softly softly with him, and hinting to me that he really wanted something else and trying to find out if I had something different he could have (I didn't)

AIBU to find this behaviour annoying and think that we are going to end up with a generation of spoilt, pampered kids!!

I know madam - I want to know that too! (Missing point!)

Zelt, he was kicking off! And why should I have to provide alternative party bag gifts anyway to avoid him kicking off?

I'm not going to say the name, sorry, but there will undoubtedly be someone on here who gets offended.

Yanbu. I know the type you mean. Many years of one from dds school, and another who lives locally. Actually slag off other kids in public to soothe their darlings little fit of jealousy/ spite/ tantrum. Pfb at its worst.

Maybe the op means something along the lines of her son being called Bertie short for Albert but the child is calling him Cuthbert or Egbert? [Waits to be roasted by mums of Cuthberts and Egberts]

Erm no. That's not what I meant at all.

The names not relevant it's allowing your child to upset another 'friend' is. This is how bullies are raised, they get a nice reaction and mom approves.

I'm on holiday with bil and sil at the moment and I'm sick fed up of everything revolving around what dh's dns want. I feel like I'm constantly telling my DD (7) to share and give things to her 4 and 6 year old cousins because their parents are so fucking self centred. This morning she actually had to give them some of her breakfast because they decided her pancakes looked nicer than the ones they'd eaten!! I'm actually hiding in my room right now because I'm sick of hearing them whining for stuff and getting it!

Lauren that's awful! They sound incredibly spoilt.

What did you mean then? I was trying to help as people weren't clear

There can't be many Cuthberts and Egberts? Surely?

That's what I hoped.

I'm confused now. Zeitgeist I was posting about what the op meant not you

This crap has been going on for generations. I had a younger cousin who would whine and cry for whatever toy I was playing with. I would be told to give it to her because 'she was younger'.

Both of my children have had friends whose parents pandered to their every whim, including one memorable occasion where a father 'accidentally' bumped another child so his child would win a game.

And now, I'm seeing my son's friends starting it in all over again; allowing their children to throw food, scream and run in restaurants, talk over adults.

Plus ça change, plus le même chose!

lauren your kids should lick their food if you lick it tis yours

ive seen a child whose parent coveted her baby brother so much she would snatch the food from her daughter's plate if he winged her food was nicer and he wanted that this was after he was asked what he wanted are you sure sweetie? food gets there the daughter started bolting her food son whines food gets swiped and he ordered something he knew she didnt like she then got told off for not eating "her" food

I'm glad someone else agrees Audrella because my dh thought it was perfectly reasonable to give them some. Also dd celebrated her birthday while on holiday. Her cousins also got presents from MIL so they wouldn't be jealous. She does that every year. We also had to sing Happy Birthday to the cousins because they both had a tantrum at cake time. It's their parents problem ultimately as they will turn into self centred adults but this has been a shitty holiday. I just want to go home....

Aah - we have friends like this. Have been friends for many, many years. (and flat-shared too).

When DC were little (all similar ages), these friends always insisted their children won when we were playing board games together. 'Oh, let her win, she's the youngest'. Err, yes, by a month or two.
'Oh, let her wee in the pool, she's only little' Err, no - no-one else does it.

Now they are all grown up children, our DC never want to associate with friends DC - because they were over-indulged and spoiled. They always try to get us together, but our DC are just not having it.

So parents who do this are making a rod not only for their own backs, but for their children's too.
So YANBU, OP. It's bloody annoying!

Agree this has always happened. I'm 50 and remember my cousin being a spoiled brat, totally indulged by my uncle (her dad) and my granny and the rest of us got ignored and sidelined. It's very annoying yanbu.

My cousin was a self centred little shit. His mum did EVERYTHING for him and we were all forced to pander to his tantrums and incessant whining... remember it like it was yesterday.

What did he do when he got older; cut himself off from the family for no reason, treated my grandparents who doted on him like utter shit...NO good can come from treating a child this way.

With the name thing- I would have told my child its unkind to tease people about their names.
Party bag- I would have been fucking mortified that my child made a big ungrateful scene, apologised, and left.

Carla means

Spoilt child .... Alfie your names short for Alfred ...
Alfie .... No it's not I'm Alfie
Continue several times
Alfie cries to mom ... He keeps saying I'm Alfred
Mom 'no your not'
Spoilt child mom 'of coarse your right darling'
Spoilt child 'see I was right Alfred' continues to be smug ms annoying.

It's not the name it's the teasing and said teasing being acceptable to the spoilt child's mom, because her precious son can't be wrong or upset.

Lauren , how long have you got left?

I'd be tempted to tell them no at every opportunity. Make sure there's a nice, big falling out so you never ever are expected to go on holiday with them again.

Agree it is not a new phenomenon. I remember kids like that when I was growing up and IME they rarely end up having strong friendships because they're unable to think of other people's needs.

Yanbu - Ive witnessed this too. Not happy about what's in party bag ? Really ? Should be grateful that they are getting a party bag or invited to party.

So irritating ! Uanbu X

Cat. We're flying home on Wednesday. I would love to have it out with SIL but dh would kill me. They are actually cute kids. I totally blame the parents for setting the expectations that everyone will give into them.