AIBU re: visitors

[TopsyRose]

Hi,

I know everyone says it, but I am prepared to be told IABU and that I'm being a miserable bitch...

My husband and I have recently relocated 120 miles from where we were living with our 3mo DS. We moved back to where I am from as I suffered with post natal depression (I needed my Family and Friends around me I think - I was very lonely) and also to further our careers.

My PIL want to come and see the baby, I would never ever stop them doing this, but they are insisting on coming at the most inconvenient time. They asked me when was best, I said "any time, any week, apart from Fridays and Saturdays" as my husband does a 15 hour shift on both of these days. They then went on to book a Friday and Saturday at a hotel.

They are saying the hotel is cheaper on these days, but I have looked online and this is not the case. They are not limited to come on just these days as they are both retired.

My husband asked them why they had done this as it is not any cheaper, she said that she should be able to come when she wants, and it is me trying to prevent her from seeing her Son and Grandson, and it is me that causing problems. She also cried down the phone, which obviously guilt tripped my husband.

Maybe IABU but I feel that she has booked it for this time so they see me alone with the baby. When this happens my MIL makes spiteful comments to me, which then causes problems with my husband and I. I feel it is too much for me to deal with.

Sorry this is so long, but if you are still reading AIBU to say "'no, I cannot see you on those dates" and insist if they come, they come on a day my husband is doing a shorter shift, or is off, so he can be with me for moral support?

Thanks

Topsy xx

The reason she shouldn't have arranged to come on the days you said weren't convenient wasn't because of your PND but because your DH wasn't around (their DS who you'd think they'd want to spend time with) and because you'd said it wasn't convenient! The reason your DH should have stood up for you was because of your PND making you vulnerable to her bullying. Disclosing your private medical information to her was not on. And her spreading that around is appalling to. You need to have words with him about this.

Feel free to message me if you need a chat topsy, I'm appalled by your update.

But I know how frustrating it is when they don't respect your privacy. My mil snooped at my maternity record, spoke to her colleagues at the hospital about me, and accessed my medical records through a friend on the department. Then proceeded to tell all and sundry what she found on there.

ollie I hope you reported you'd MIL to the relevant hospital staff

I think I remember your Mil posts Ollie flaming witch!!!

Remember as well that PND is nothing at all to be ashamed of.

And she can fuck herself. Silly mare.

I remember that ollie. Did you decide to give birth in a different hospital after? Your MIL worked in the same hospital didn't she?

Topsy you are so, so, so not alone with PND. I have it at the moment following the birth of DS3 and have been having treatment for it, feel a million times better. My GP told me she loves treating it as it is so easy to manage once you ask for help and really satisfying (as a doctor) to watch someone become themselves again.

I was amazed by how many women subsequently told me they had had it but noone ever told me when they were actually going through it. So I have told everyone I know and one friend got help as a result of discussing it with me. This is not to say how great I am or anything, but to tell you how common it is and how it is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Your MIL should be ashamed of herself for judging you. If you ask me, at least your condition can be cured but she will be a judgemental, unpleasant bitch forever. Xx

Hope you managed to avoid mil op.

Wondering how you got on OP.

How are you OP?

Hope you're doing ok OP & that your weekend went without any interruptions.

How did you get on last weekend OP?