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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am a complete idiot?

217 replies

pinkchoctruffle · 08/08/2015 10:13

DH's birthday is in September and I booked a trip away for us in Cornwall for four nights.

I booked the flights and then the hotel through a website which said I could book now and pay later but I obviously didn't read the fine print very closely and the money has all gone out.

I now have NO money until Friday.

Sigh. And I know, I know, it's my fault, but ...

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/08/2015 22:06

I now have NO money until Friday.

^ that reads as if you're skint.

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 22:06

I definitely said to worraliberty (I think) that we had food and I said 'we will be ok,'it's JUST'

I didn't say or insinuate we were starving.

I didn't say or insinuate we would never have money again.

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 22:07

I don't have any money until Friday.

Why is this so contentious?

Waltermittythesequel · 08/08/2015 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DesertIslander · 08/08/2015 22:11

Pink calm down and walk away from this thread. You sound upset.

People, I think that's enough now. Hmm

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 22:12

Oh god I don't understand what I'm doing wrong here but it's something big.

Okay. I have no money in my bank account and none in my purse/bag; I have plenty of food in the house; we are not going without and I will have money on Friday.

There is a joint bank account which has money in it but this is not my money and I will not therefore be going and getting money from it as I have no bank card for this and even if I did I wouldn't. Just because my names on something doesn't mean I have the right to help myself. Legally yes I do morally no I don't.

I really am hiding the thread now; I have answered everything you just don't like the answers.

LittleLionHeart · 08/08/2015 22:13

The OP is getting a massive hard time here. She can't really spend any money without ruining the surprise. That's all.

(Don't get me started on the poster who asked her why she can justify a holiday when she has an overdraft Confused. Only those not in any debt at all go on holiday).

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 22:15

Well tbf I only went overdrawn when the money came out when I didn't expect it to, which I know was my fault before anyone says anything.

WhitePhantom · 08/08/2015 22:21

OP, the main question that's been asked over and over again but not answered is "Why can't you find a reason to ask your DH for some money till Friday". Over and over...

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 22:22

I have already said politely I don't want to get into it and people can ask over and over all they want; nowhere in the talk guidelines does it say I have to answer ANYTHING I don't want to.

needstoscream · 08/08/2015 22:27

I think you are in a fucked up situation if you somehow think you can't take a tenner from a joint account for 'moral' reasons. No decent man/father would refuse unless it meant the mortgage wouldn't be paid. I don't think you are on the take. I think you need help.
Best wishes Flowers

passmethewineplease · 08/08/2015 22:29

Hmm it's reading like your DH controls all the money whilst you get your "allowance"

nickelbabe · 08/08/2015 22:30

no,that's true, but the way it reads is that you're hiding something.

usually that something is an abusive husband.

100butterflies · 08/08/2015 22:32

Since you have food (this wasn't clear to me until page 5), then you will be okay, just a have to be a bit house bound. Will your money on Friday cover the unexpected overdraft and leave you money for next week?

On the plus side that is the holiday paid for, just faster than expected.

AuntyMag10 · 08/08/2015 22:34

People were confused because when they made suggestions about you selling stuff, looking in old pockets and going into overdraft for food you didn't correct anyone.

CerealEater · 08/08/2015 22:36

Something does sound off if the OP can't ask her husband for money in an emergency and rather than spend on the children over the holidays they have to stay home so he can go away.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 08/08/2015 22:41

This is all quite odd - it reminds me of a thread ideas on recently where the OP was asking about taking out a credit card as she had no money and then she said she did have money but she just needed money for additional expenses. Then it was revealed that she did have a DH but she couldn't even ask him for 50p.

I think the whole thing ended up deleted but most posters reacted in exactly the same way as here - as it is quite unusual to not be able to ask your DH for some cash to tide you over. Particularly when you have DC.

OP - from the other post on this thread, I'm assuming you're the poster who posted about whether to take a teaching job or not. Sooks if this is wrong but I think you said your DH was very supportive or words to that effect. I'm sure he would understand if you had to "borrow" (if that makes you feel more at ease) some cash from the joint account for a few days. You could repay it in Friday and then you don't need to speak to him and spoil the surprise.

I would get another card and a pin for the joint account though. God forbid anything haopebed to your DH, you don't want to be trekking to the bank to get cash out

Epilepsyhelp · 08/08/2015 22:53

Jesus this is insane.

Why the fuck are you tearing strips off OP like a bloody pack of wolves?!! Joint accounts are often used by couples to pay food and bills only, and not for anything else.

Christ this place is weird lately.

BernardlookImaprostituterobotf · 08/08/2015 23:00

This is the same DH that didn't want you going for the job but you don't have a moral right to family money in the joint account even though you're on maternity leave/not working?
You're right, we all do finances differently but I am confused by this. This is the problem with context though - that could be very worrying or it could be explicable and not worrying. I can certainly understand why posters are ? that you say you feel guilty you can't do anything with your son because you have no money, then say there is money but you have no access or right to it, although you could draw some out but 'DH wouldn't be happy' - on MN you frequently find that a little thing is not a little thing, it's the marker of a big thing floating under the surface. Sometimes very worrying and potentially abusive big things. Otoh sometimes it is what it is and nothing more. Without context this makes me go Hmm obviously same for others. Regardless of anything else it's quite unusual which is why I think there's been a bit of misunderstanding, no need for rudeness though. Of course you don't have to answer. But MN will ask.

Anyway, these things happen. Whatever you end up doing this week it's not the end of the world and I'm the last person who can say she hasn't done anything daft and felt a bit of a numpty. September will be on us before you know it and you can have some good sleep and hopefully some nice adult time with nobody needing sand tipped out of their shoes, child friendly outings or a nap...unless you want one! Hopefully next week can be the week you do things with DS - we can't all always do outings every day/week of the summer hols so have to make do as best we can, a bit of imagination (or gritting your teeth and being really interested in Minecraft/Lego/Loombands) can be just as bonding and nice as a day out.
I am just about ready to torch the loom band factory though!

WayneRooneysHair · 08/08/2015 23:07

I can kind of see where the OP is coming from TBH, if I suddenly found myself short I wouldn't think 'oh well' and dip into the joint account to cover my mistake. I don't get why she is being torn to shreds.

UniS · 08/08/2015 23:10

How much cash has ds got in his piggy bank?

nickelbabe · 08/08/2015 23:19

but it's not a mistake in the usual sense - it's not like she's flittered the money away on gambling or on new shoes that she can't afford!
she's just bought a holiday for her DH that was paid for before she expected!

That's the kind of thing that using the joint account to tide you over a few days with bus fares for your DCs that's perfectly legitimate and no DH in their right mind would say no to!

Unless they're financially abusive or emotionally abusive Hs.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 08/08/2015 23:52

I do see what you saying wayne - but I think most people would at least have a discussion with their DH?

Plus, I think the OP said she would have more funds on Friday - so it would be a vet short term "loan" so to speak out of the account

xavierfondue · 09/08/2015 00:24

Going straight back to page one, I am driving to Cornwall next week. It is going to take over 6 hours each way. It didn't even occur to me to fly.

xavierfondue · 09/08/2015 00:25

But Gobbolinothewitchescat it's only Saturday so Friday is virtually a week away. What if she has to pay the window cleaner?

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