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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am a complete idiot?

217 replies

pinkchoctruffle · 08/08/2015 10:13

DH's birthday is in September and I booked a trip away for us in Cornwall for four nights.

I booked the flights and then the hotel through a website which said I could book now and pay later but I obviously didn't read the fine print very closely and the money has all gone out.

I now have NO money until Friday.

Sigh. And I know, I know, it's my fault, but ...

OP posts:
Bingoismynamo · 08/08/2015 18:01

Op please explain, no need to hide thread. I think a lot of us are confused at to why you initially claimed to have "no money" at all even for your child/to leave the house but now are saying you have a joint account.

With respect what did you hope to get out of starting this thread?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 08/08/2015 18:03

I can't just help myself to the money in the joint account

Why not? Am really struggling to understand. As MrsDeVere and Nonainglese said further back - not much of a joint account if you are not 'allowed' access.

A Joint Account means exactly that - jointly owned, joint access (particularly if some of the money is used for joint children)

NoelHeadbands · 08/08/2015 18:06

Seems a shame to let your DC suffer for a week though OP. Just make an excuse and take from the joint account.

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 18:09

I was just sounding off. No 'point' to thread at all. No idea why people are confused. I said I've left myself (through own stupidity) with no money and I have.

BigRedBall · 08/08/2015 18:11

But you do have money....it's in the joint account. How much money do you spend a week on activities? Confused

woowoo22 · 08/08/2015 18:12

Understand all that. But why can't you access the joint money, or are you choosing not to use it?

The80sweregreat · 08/08/2015 18:19

Assuming you dont have a credit card to tide you over? Round up your old clothes, handbgs, shoes and find a local ' clothes for sale' place , they pay by the kilo, i had 3 bags, they chucked a few things back but still got 15 pounds. Not a fortune ,,but it can add up.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/08/2015 18:25

I think OP has a lot on her plate.

New baby
Cleared her account out.
Dh is planning on meeting an old school flame without her.
Should she take up a school job in January or not.

A lot of stress right there.

Take care pink

WitchofScots · 08/08/2015 18:27

OP why don't you have a bank card for the joint account? It's seeming more and more like your 'D'H is financially controlling, it doesn't have to be that way you know.

drudgetrudy · 08/08/2015 18:32

We didn't know that from this particular thread StillStaying and I think what some of us were trying to question was whether there is some degree of financial control here that means she is afraid to ask for her own money-potentially another source of stress.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/08/2015 18:40

drudgetrudy

I know Smile.

CerealEater · 08/08/2015 18:42

Not really a joint account if you can't access it.

Are you sure your husband will want to go on the trip? I wouldn't if it meant my children had gone without all summer holidays and been nowhere.

calzone · 08/08/2015 18:58

Ugh. What an annoying thread.

littlejohnnydory · 08/08/2015 18:59

You don't have a bank card for the joint account?? Why not?

You've got on my nerves a bit, OP because I and others have been in the position of having no money left for food, bus fares, etc at the end of the month. You say you have no money but you mean one of your accounts is empty.

As for "well I wouldn't have been posting about a holiday then, would I?" - this is what I understood from your op: that you had budgeted for some time away which you could afford after pay day but not now. The money had gone out leaving you with nothing until pay day. That's a position plenty of people have been in.

nickelbabe · 08/08/2015 18:59

i'm afraid i agree with the others - you do have money, the joint account is still your money, and it really should be used for things for your child because that's a joint expense.

i've got my own account and i still use the joint account for purchases for household and child expenses.

that's how joint accounts work.
if you haven't got a card for the joint account you ring your bank and say "i need a new card" and they'll send you one.
in the meantime, tell your DH you can't find your card and ask him to give you some money from the joint account so you can do stuff with DS during the holiday.

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 19:08

I wasn't trying to annoy anybody; I do so hate it when this happens. I know others are in need; I also know I am not one of them and I think if I'd posted saying i was in terrible need and hungry and children had no clothes you'd have a point but I didn't say or insinuate that.

And I don't have access to the joint account; its got my name on it but I don't have a card for it and I don't have any way of accessing the money. Well I guess I could go into the bank and withdraw the money over the counter; not sure if you can do that. But DH wouldn't be happy.

And it was my fault so there's no need for anyone to be annoyed with me and I don't see why you are - I said it was my fault in the thread title! I should have added 'don't open if you're annoyed by muppets!'

MrsDeVere · 08/08/2015 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tittybiscuit · 08/08/2015 19:30

Tell DH you've misplaced your bank card and ask if you can get a sub from the joint account until Friday :)

MissDemelzaCarne · 08/08/2015 19:38

Funny 'joint' account Hmm

woowoo22 · 08/08/2015 19:38

But why would you keep your kid at home for a week if there is money? What is the joint acc for?

pinktrufflechoc · 08/08/2015 19:39

Well everyone does finances differently don't they??

AuntyMag10 · 08/08/2015 19:51

You shouldn't be planning a holiday for someone who won't allow you to use something that's jointly yours. Your ds misses out on a holiday and a week of stuff to do all for this person. That's not right.

lostinikea · 08/08/2015 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself · 08/08/2015 20:45

I think you need to sort your joint account out. It's not really working for you.

Waltermittythesequel · 08/08/2015 21:04

You're being rather rude to people who were trying to help.

You did say you had no money. You implied you were destitute. You don't have the money for a bus ride ffs!

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