To ask lady to stop smoking near my newborn and pregnant friend?

[pinktrufflechoc]

Out for coffee and a friend went in to get them and a woman is smoking. Friend is pregnant and I have a newborn.

I asked her to stop and she was being rude to me and said she'd smoke outside if she wanted!

Do you think I was unreasonable? I think it's horrible ...

Dear god. All these people who simply have to drink their coffee outside because they don't want to miss 20 of sunshine.

Are you vitimin D deficient?

It's such a childish argument. "I want to sit outside", "No I want to sit outside" "Well you can't, because you're going to expel a tiny bit of smoke into the atmosphere"

I don't particularly like the smell of fag smoke but I like drama llamas even less.

Why do I never see them clutching their pearls when they're queuing at an ice cream van, with the engine running?

Still, while they're pointing their finger at someone else, I expect they're distracting themselves from thinking about their own misgivings.

I think the best solution, Derek, is that we come to a better compromise. So, let's say when it's over 25c outside, all smokers have to go inside to give all the special, apparently super healthy people a chance to enjoy the 'fresh air' (still funny to me, in a town, you can find such a thing).

A better idea would be to have a sealed off area for all people (young and old), considered annoying, rude, anti social, smelly or noisy. That would free up a lot of space both outside and in!

I don't particularly like the smell of fag smoke but I like drama llamas even less.

I don't think I'm a drama llama, but I would not willingly sit next to a smoker in an outdoor cafe (much less pay for the privilege). I simply don't accept the argument that smoking magically becomes inoffensive to non-smokers once everyone is outdoors. Truthfully, I think there is very little difference unless the wind is blowing so much that you'd probably not choose to dine outside.

Oh smoking will never become magically inoffensive to the dramatic ones.

While they're pointing the finger at someone else for smoking, they're very happy.

Point your finger back at them about their car usage, or ask why they're not whinging about the ice cream van's engine running, and they'll likely be stumped.

If smoking was banned tomorrow, they'd find another whinge to replace it with I expect.

Not enough live and let live going on.

If smoking was banned tomorrow, they'd find another whinge to replace it with I expect.

Surely that's a lot to read into someone's post.

Point your finger back at them about their car usage, or ask why they're not whinging about the ice cream van's engine running, and they'll likely be stumped.

If someone drives a car, are they supposed to be OK with breathing second-hand smoke?

If someone drives a car, are they supposed to be OK with breathing second-hand smoke?

Well cars do cause pollution that others have to 'breathe in'

Well the pollution from car fumes is thought to be more of a health issue causing respiratory problems.

Occasionally sitting within close proximity to a person smoking outside isn't that bad health wise.

Unless you're self-sufficient (food, clothes, shelter) and don't use any transport apart from walking/biking (including holidays) - we're all contributing to the transport sector emissions.

So perhaps the better question is, "are you self-sufficient?", rather than (or in addition to) "do you drive a car?".

I said point your finger at them about their car usage...meaning to question how many journeys they make unnecessarily in them. I should have explained myself better.

Basically, there's always something to point fingers at or about.

It just seems smoking is the most popular pearl clutch at the moment. Mind you, I think it's mostly a Mumsnet thing.

In RL I find people a lot less dramatic.

Oh and I should add, I don't smoke or drive a car

But I still can't get preachy about those who do.

Same here, I'm a non smoker and don't drive, I don't get worked up about people who choose to smoke and where they have to sit.

Same here, I'm a non smoker and don't drive, I don't get worked up about people who choose to smoke and where they have to sit.

I don't care where a smoker sits, particularly. I just don't want to have to inhale it. I don't think that makes me a drama queen.

I once nicely asked a man if he could either stop smoking or move away from me but to be fair I was sat on the only bench outside the doctors having just been in for terrible morning sickness, feeling faint so I sat down instead of passing out while DH went to get some water. He was stood near by and happily went around the corner instead. I didn't have any right to do this but he was nice enough. If u don't ask you don't get :)

WorraLiberty
If smoking was banned tomorrow, they'd find another whinge to replace it with I expect.

Yep - probably about more benefit cuts due to the £5bn NET loss from tobacco revenue.

IMO it's selfish to smoke around babies and pregnant women, even if you're outside.
DH used to smoke, but he was always careful not to light up where there were families nearby or people were eating. Just because you're outside in a pub garden or coffee shop doesn't mean people want smoke all over them! Even if smoking isn't banned in the outdoor dining area, it's about being respectful and considerate.

But there was no baby near the smoker when she lit up.....

Lilac the OP came along with her baby and pregnant friend, when the woman was already smoking.

Ah. I didn't realise the woman was mid-smoke when the OP sat down. That might be slightly unreasonable, sorry OP.

Derek I completely agree that I was far too close to this woman. However she was the one with the personal space issue. As I posted, I kept moving away because of the smell, but she kept shuffling up closer to me again!

I'm an ex smoker but when I did smoke, a mother and her baby sat next to the table I was at and I immediately put my cigarette out. I didn't give it a second thought. But the fact that women lit up a second fag while you were seated smacks of... feck you, I'm outside so it's my right to smoke..she was being inconsiderate.

I'm all for smokers rights but there's such a thing as being considerate.

I'm just looking forward to winter when I can have a fag outside, ie, the only place I can, without worrying that I'm offending people.
I'm certain that non-smokers won't mind not having their share of outside pubs and cafes then.

Oh I love seeing smokers. I don't smoke so I think at least that's one less vice I have.

I once sat outside cafe rouge and enjoyed 2 large glasses of wine and got disapproving looks from 2 women who had smoked at least 3 fags each during the time.

Made me laugh.