To ask lady to stop smoking near my newborn and pregnant friend?

[pinktrufflechoc]

Out for coffee and a friend went in to get them and a woman is smoking. Friend is pregnant and I have a newborn.

I asked her to stop and she was being rude to me and said she'd smoke outside if she wanted!

Do you think I was unreasonable? I think it's horrible ...

Perhaps we need to out with massive gas masks to put over our heads like in WWII whenever we end up near a smoker. In order to get into our local tube station I have hold my breath before I approach and continue holding it until well in to avoid the smoke from those outside. I can do that quite well as I have quite expandable lungs (as I have never smoked!) and can hold my breath longer than lots of people which also helps in choirs as I can sing long phrases and doing solo singing. However why should I have to?

No they don't sound ridiculous oneday.

It's legal,their money, they like it and it's their choice.

I don't smoke or my dh and ds's but I do find attitudes such as yours a pain in the arse.

I really dont think smokers understand how bad it smells to others. I didn't when I smoked. It sits on your skin and hair and absolutely reeks.

In boots the other day a woman queued up behind me to pay. she had obviously just had a cigarette and she smelt awful. I kept moving away slightly and she kept moving closer and closer to me until I couldn't move any further away. Her breath was disgusting. There's nothing you can do in that situation, but it doesn't stop it being really unpleasant.

in some cities (such as Cardiff) its actually illegal to smoke in bus stops

Good because it's grim. When I was pregnant with HG (triggered by smoke) but wanted to sit down because I was passing out a lot I would ask people to move if smoking in bus shelters. Normally wouldn't bother but if they wanted to smoke they could move under those circs.

YABU - I'm pregnant but not noticeably and the other day moved benches three times to avoid smokers, they have the right to smoke outside, and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking them not to. That said, all the smokers I know are very considerate and would never dream of lighting up near a newborn or visibly pregnant woman. So she was being inconsiderate in my opinion!

Hmmm, tough one OP. YWBU technically because it's legal to smoke outside so the woman was not doing anything 'wrong'. It's also pretty rude of you to police people's behaviour (albeit politely) because you don't like what they're doing. As others have said, the fact you have a newborn and your friend is pregnant is irrelevant.

On the other hand, smoking in public is vile and antisocial and I can't wait for it to be made illegal. In addition, I don't think it's always bad thing to police people's public behaviour because a lot of people are disgusting, antisocial parasites and need to be told. In that sense, YANBU.

The thing is, if people are sat outside cafes smoking you can just stand up and move elsewhere. Smokers have to sit and drink/eat somewhere, they can't go indoors any more so what are they supposed to do?

I don't smoke, never have, and when friends/family who are smokers come to our house they smoke outside away from my DCs because they're respectful enough to see it as a no-no. I don't see any reason to attack smokers just because you have children.

Completely unreasonable; why are you taking a newborn into areas where people are likely to be smoking, completely legally, by the way?
If you are concerned for your children's welfare, you make the sacrifices.

You can't just go elsewhere if it's packed inside and when it's a nice day it's nice to be outside and not have to contend with cigarettes. The smell yesterday was horrendous.

You were outside in the fresh air, horrendous smell, really?

I think you're exaggerating how bad it was.

I think you're exaggerating how bad it was

Agree.

Ah don't worry, soon it will be winter and everyone will be tucked up cosy inside pointing and laughing at the smokers who have to smoke in the rain/snow.

Seasons of how much of a whingy twat a person can be.... Especially if they have a large dose of I'M PREGNANTS and their 'I'm the most important person in the universe chip switches on.

It was very smelly. I don't think I am exaggerating.

Especially if they have a large dose of I'M PREGNANTS and their 'I'm the most important person in the universe chip switches on

I'm a non smoker but I find the sanctimonious posts from non-smokers nauseating. I do wish they'd stop.

Red. You want to be able to breathe normal air outside. In London

Smokers can sit and eat wherever they like.

They just can't spark up wherever they want to.

What pisses me off is that the outdoor space outside a cafe/bar etc is now becoming the designated smoking space. That's not fair. their colonisation of the outdoor space negatively impacts on others who just want to sit outside. Al fresco dining is turning into Al Foggo

I think tobacco smoking ought to be banned totally in public spaces, but vape to your hearts content.

Ywbu, you say next to her and could see she was smoking, she had a lit cigarette, she probably assumed you were happy to sit next to her and her cigarette smoke. I think you had a cheek to then complain to her for smoking. I do think it's a bit rude to start smoking next to a baby if they're there first but she was and you knew that

For those of you who say about smelling a smokers breath means you are too close, the smell is detectable if you walk across a large office space, if you're 2 or 3 desks away. seriously, not a dig, but it really IS that pungent! If you're any closer, it's worse,

That's sort of what I was getting at Hissy - it was actually quite nice here yesterday and wanted to be outside but the outdoor area was just filled with smokers.

Why do you have to smoke with a cup of tea and food though Derek?

In the olden days (before 2007) it would have been considered rude to light up around food even if it was technically 'allowed.')

If we're eating outside and someone lights a cigarette in proximity to our table, we move. It's not dissimilar to smoke in a confined, indoor space.

Because it's her choice if she wants to have a fag with her coffee, it's not rocket science.

We would Goodbye if there had actually been any other free tables.