to want to leave my husband

[babybooboo123]

im 21 hes 51 we have 3 kids which I don't have a bond with one child of them, he adores the child which I don't, he doesn't give my other 2 children any attention (rather tell them to shut up or go to bed... bare in mind they are all under the age of 4) we are always arguing over the child I have no bond with, all the child does is cry and hit the other 2, youngest child is 7months. so when the the child hits the others they will go to there room to cool off, and all my husband says is'#@*&?! been in that room all day, or you F ING hate your own child, basically the sun shines out of child's arse, I am always in the wrong. I have about 4 to 5 hours broken sleep every night whilst husband sleep like a baby. I wake up I change there nappies . do there breakfast and husbands , then I start cleaning cooking playing with 2 children whiled daddy has other 1 on his lap kissing cuddling playing and ignores the my 2.
anyway we have moved home 6months ago and we have done nothing but argue, if he wants sex he must have or he wont talk to me. he controls the money as he says i will just buy anything. he wont put my name on tenancy as he think I would tell him to leave and keep the house (but I wouldn't do that as I hate this house it is soooo isolated and everyone is old!)
when I do a Tesco shop online he want to check what I have put on, so I can't put chocolate or snacks on, I can't go out shopping unless I take all the kids as he says I am NOT BABY SITTING, all I do is cry STRESS and feel like I have no responsibility ,,, but when I ask him these question when I have a visitor round he says I dont stop you going or doing what u want, you know if u want so money you get some, but its lies, basically I want to leave him and take the 2children but leave 1 with him, but he would take my phone off me so I couldn't call no1 he wouldn't give me any money so I couldn't get anywhere he wouldn't let me take any clothes as he says I brought them, I wouldn't know what to do where to go no money just me 2 kids ages 3 and 7months , oh I forgot he smokes weed and makes me feel belittled as he can but weed but I can't buy a chocolate bar for a pound, I live where there is no transport and no1 i know so I could go there house. I am fucked, im fed up what would u do , many thanks x

OK, so he says 'go if you want'. Then start making plans. Do you have a bank account? I'm not in the UK so I don't know about the benefits system, but are any/all benefits for yourself and the children being paid directly to you? If not, they should be. That will give you a start on independence. Maybe even enough to get away from the isolation you are living in and access help for yourself.

You may love your H, but you need to love yourself more. And saying you don't want to hurt him is just an excuse. He's an adult, he can take care of himself. You are hurting yourself, and by extension your children, by staying. Your children need and deserve a happy, emotionally healthy mum. And you won't be that if you stay where you are.

Glad you manage to talk OP. And that you have made a decision.

Good luck with your move. With the right support, I am sure your little family will come good. The kids will benefit from being somewhere they can get out.

And unless your dh does something to make you think he shouldn't see his dc, then it is in their interest that he does, I just don't think they or you should live with him.

In addition to HV GP and WA you should speak to CAB too to sort out what you are entitled to. (Its like alphabet spaghetti!)

Oh and do consider the Freedom Peogramme and reading Lundy Bancroft: Why does he do that.

It will help you recognise the warning signs in future.

All the very best OP... Please don't be too harsh on some of the posters on here... We were all trying hard to give you some advice based on your words.
So glad that it looks like you can start to move in the right direction for all of you.
Good luck!

babybooboo123 Hi, how is it going? What is happening with the move? Sorry I have been silent so long but things has been super busy in the holidays.

Poster have only been responding to what you have written. We only know what is said. I have not read any of your other threads so only saw what you put her.

I am so pleased you feel empowered and I know that you can this.

Bless you, please do keep us posted.

babybooboo123 Hi, how is it going? What is happening with the move? Sorry I have been silent so long but things has been super busy in the holidays.

Poster have only been responding to what you have written. We only know what is said. I have not read any of your other threads so only saw what you put her.

I am so pleased you feel empowered and I know that you can this.

Bless you, please do keep us posted.

oopse, sorry for double posting.

I've been wondering how things are going. Please to see you're making positive steps.

Pleased