To not know what to do about dsis wedding?

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My dsis is getting married abroad. I am pregnant and the baby will be 6 weeks old by the time we fly to the wedding, (if born on the due date, highly unlikely I know!).

The flight is 11 hours. This is my first child and know this in itself is nuts, but am not that fazed by the flight, other than my concern that at 6 weeks baby won't have had any vaccinations. I am worried about viruses the other passengers might be carrying.

I am also worried about being away from home for 2 weeks when the baby is so little and me and dh won't really know what we are doing. My whole family are going on the trip too though so we will have plenty of support.

I have 1dsis and we are really close, it just so happens we live in different countries. I really really really want to go to her wedding and I cannot bear the thought of missing her wedding. I also don't want to upset her by not going, I know that if she hadn't been able to come to our wedding i would have been devastated.

I feel like whatever decision I make I am letting someone down or being irresponsible.

Dh wants to go, but does not want the baby to be at risk. Which I agree with, if this was just a family holiday I would have cancelled months ago, but it is much, much more important.

Please help me see sense!

I would say no and I'm someone who travelled a lot with mine as little ones but there's just so much going on with your first baby and it's just too much. Just relax and enjoy your baby. You never get that time back again.

I flew short haul when DD was 4 weeks old and again with DS was 2 weeks old, both after ELCS and I'd still say don't do it. Even if all the timings work out the flight will be exhausting and coping with such a young baby in a hotel won't be much of a holiday. The flight will expose your baby to the viruses of all the other passengers and the risks of taking an unvaccinated baby out and about in Thailand are too great.

I'd actually be amazed if you can get travel insurance to go to Thailand with such a young baby, so this may be the deciding factor unless OP is willing to travel uninsured...

I want to be positive but this does seem like an enormous amount of pressure to put on yourself after the birth of your first baby. If baby is late you may still be bleeding, if there are complications/stitches not healing etc (hopefully not, but...) you could be in for a very intense 11 hours, with less reliable medical care the other end. Having a newborn in high temperatures abroad can be stressful too.

Apart from all the concerns that have been brought up already (which I completely agree with), how could you even book a plane ticket for your baby? I'm assuming you would have to have a passport and a birth date for booking flights, which you obviously won't have, so you would have to leave booking the flights right up to the last minute, which would make it prohibitively expensive. Just a thought...

Going to Thailand? You would need other vaccinations apart from the regular ones, can't remember, typhoid, hepatitis? Also, what about malaria? Still prevalent in some areas out there. Too risky.

Honestly - it will not be worth the effort and stress, and your sister should really understand that. Have a lovely holiday out there once everything has calmed down and your baby is a bit older, you will be able to enjoy it so much more.

No way would I do this, I have 3 DC's and was still flattened by the time each was 6 weeks old. It's knackering enough without adding this on top. Don't do it OP, your sister will understand.

It totally depends on how much help you would get.

I breezed through the baby stage, but would of needed my DH to sort the passport, packing etc (I BF).

My DD had her first baby in December, we are all "hands on", and she recovered well physically from the birth, so this trip would of been easy.

We're going on holiday when my GC is 11 months, which is going to be hard work, compared with a 0-6 months.

Before I had my first baby, this is the kind of thing I might've considered because oh, you know, it'll just sleep and feed. And it would've been a disaster!

I had a relatively ok birth but still needed an episiotomy which was fully healed after six weeks, but still a bit tender at four.

I also had a fecking nightmare trying to establish bf, and by the six week mark was still giving that a go, so expressing, anxious and crying a lot! I think that is something you would really need to consider if bf is important to you - it might not go smoothly. I finally threw in the towel at eight weeks, but I might've been more upset by having a looming deadline of a long haul flight hanging over my head adding even more pressure to an already very stressful time.

We did a long flight with dd when she was 8 weeks. She just slept or fed. Will you be breast feeding? That would offer some support to babies immune system.
Young babies are very portable and they won't be upset by a change in routine.

DD is 2 years 4 months now and I wouldn't attempt a flight with her for all the tea in China!

I wondered how long it would take for someone to say 'just put baby in a sling'

Slings don't work for all mums and babies, but this rarely gets mentioned...

I haven't had chance to read all PP and I haven't been in your situation, but I'm just wondering about travel insurance so soon after giving birth, especially if you had to have a C-Section... Would it be really expensive in case of any issues? There seems to be a lot for you to think about...

I did a 4.5 he flight with 6 week old DS for a week stay with family. We lived abroad. It was inter Europe though.

He was a star - we booked a night flight, he fed on take off and slept until we got to my Parent's house - a whole 8 hours!

We went cross country on a train and also spent a weekend in a caravan - all in October.

I didn't worry about catching up with missed sleep or coping as let's face it the family pretty much took charge of DS and handed him to me for feeds - it was great

The plan only works if everything goes to plan - what if your LO is premature or has other medical complications? I know of many children who were readmitted to hospital around the four to six week mark with various concerns

The flight would be fine. It's the logistics that might prove difficult plus if you go overdue or there are any complications for you/baby. Plus have you thought about how you will bottle feed if you don't manage to breastfeed? I can tell you are desperate to be there but it doesn't sound like it's going to be easy. You have to weigh up all the obstacles against how much you want to attend.

This is basically a non-starter.

1. If you have birth complications or a c-section then YOU will not be able to fly.

1. Many of the vaccinations required for Thailand cannot be given to a newborn. While you may get exemptions for some of them do you really want to risk actually giving your newborn these diseases?

You don't need yellow fever jab for Thailand, but you will need hep b and typhoid. For Phuket eg you don't need malaria tablets, but you do need to deet spay due to dengue fever. I think most of these sprays are unsuitable for babies.
Personally I wouldn't go as there are too many unknowns - you may have trouble bf, may be recovering from a c- section etc. I flew with my son at 12 weeks and the flight was fine, but that was within Europe.

may also be relevant - but you can't put sunscreen on newborns either. So would have to stay indoors for the duration.

I ended up with mastitis when DD was 6 weeks. As my mum would say, why put yourself through it? It might be ok but it might be a fucking nightmare.

All those saying that baby will be fine if you're BF are missing the point. Breastfeeding may reduce the risk of infection but it doesn't eliminate it. BF babies can and do pick up infections and taking an unvaccinated newborn to Thailand, regardless of how they are fed, is risky. I'm a big supporter of breastfeeding but I'm finding it a bit concerning how many people seem to think it's a substitute for vaccinations!

I'm afraid it's a no from me too.

My newborn is 6 weeks tomorrow. I had an elcs and feel recovered now and could probably cope with a long flight but she is my second and I know what I am doing (ie breastfeeding well established, have flown with a baby before, am confident with everything).

For your situation there are just too many unknowns.

You don't know how you'll feel, how the baby will be, even how old the baby will be.

We couldn't get an appt to register her until she was 4 weeks, so that might stop you anyway.

But the main thing for me is the vaccinations and health care, it's just too risky.

I wouldn't go. Think about yourself and how you will/might feel. Pps have made excellent practical points about vaccinations, sterilising and passport/visas, but do you really want to be jet lagged in a hotel room 10,000 miles from home with a non-sleeping newborn, leaking milk and probably still bleeding?!might be fine, but I had PND and was a mess and needed my GP. Check carefully that your travel insurance covers you to fly post partum. DVT is a risk. You may need a doctor's letter if you have a csection?

I would not want to spend the precious first few weeks with my lovely newborn dashing around for passport photos, birth registration appointments, updating travel insurance to cover baby, packing everything needed for a long haul holiday, stressing about booking flights (surely v expensive to book last minute) and shopping for a dress that fits yourbody and you can bf in and won't show your maternity pad.

I did go to my DSis's wedding when DS2 was 7weeks but that was in the UK and he was DC#2. Didn't enjoy myself, exhausted, strange hotel room, couldn't drink (boozy Scottish wedding) and spent most of it looking after DC and breast feeding away from the band.in a side room

Good point re maternity pad! I was bleeding up to week 5. I've only just ditched my massive big black pants at 6 weeks post birth!

Thailand?

No way in hell.

It would be reckless in the extreme to take a 4-8wk old there.

You have to accept now that you can't go to this wedding.

No wedding is worth risking your baby's life, which is what you'd be doing.

I'd plan to go with the caveat that if you can't go for any reason then you won't.

Many, many deliveries are straightforward and you may find that by 6 weeks you feel fine. I flew with a 4 week old to a wedding. I was also a BM and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I also flew long haul with an 11 day old (we were moving) and whilst it was a challenge getting the passport sorted it was one of the easiest flights I've ever done with three DC.

Risking the baby's life?! That's a little extreme.