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Original poster

To not know what to do about dsis wedding?

196 replies

Crimblecrumble · 28/07/2015 09:02

My dsis is getting married abroad. I am pregnant and the baby will be 6 weeks old by the time we fly to the wedding, (if born on the due date, highly unlikely I know!).

The flight is 11 hours. This is my first child and know this in itself is nuts, but am not that fazed by the flight, other than my concern that at 6 weeks baby won't have had any vaccinations. I am worried about viruses the other passengers might be carrying.

I am also worried about being away from home for 2 weeks when the baby is so little and me and dh won't really know what we are doing. My whole family are going on the trip too though so we will have plenty of support.

I have 1dsis and we are really close, it just so happens we live in different countries. I really really really want to go to her wedding and I cannot bear the thought of missing her wedding. I also don't want to upset her by not going, I know that if she hadn't been able to come to our wedding i would have been devastated.

I feel like whatever decision I make I am letting someone down or being irresponsible.

Dh wants to go, but does not want the baby to be at risk. Which I agree with, if this was just a family holiday I would have cancelled months ago, but it is much, much more important.

Please help me see sense!

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 28/07/2015 09:58

[For passport photos, the 'would you like a photo of your newborn?' lady in the maternity ward was a little surprised to be faced with a request for 12 passport photos and nothing any bigger!]

thanksamillion · 28/07/2015 10:01

One other thing, further up the thread someone said you wouldn't be able to get a ticket for the baby until it's born. That isn't true. You can book using 'baby' and then amend the name later.

StitchingMoss · 28/07/2015 10:03

Not a chance. If anything were to go wrong you would never forgive yourself. Absolutely not worth the risk for a wedding.

slightlyconfused85 · 28/07/2015 10:04

I did exactly this for my brothers weddinn when my baby was 6 weeks old exactly. Not quite as far 5 hours, but to be honest it was much easier than flying with her when she was an older baby! If your whole family are going you will be fine; they sleep a lot and in their prams/car seats at that age so she will probably be asleep for a fair chunk of the flight and rest of trip.

5madthings · 28/07/2015 10:05

I think you aren't going to be able to decide until baby is here, it will depend on if they are early or late.

Getting passport should be Ok,I just got four first child's passports with check and send, they wrre all back within five days! You would need to be organised re registering baby and photos but it could be done.

The worry is vaccinations really, where in Thailand? Are you going, does your sister or any family live there, or are you and your sister just goung for the wedding? If you have family who live there and therefore a nice place to stay, access to ex pat community, and all that entails etc then I would consider it, babies of this age are at their most portable esp if bfeeding.

slightlyconfused85 · 28/07/2015 10:05

As an aside, my dd was bang on time and was not a c-section so I was comfortable enough. This might not be the case for you but as I say we were all fine and had a good time and I was so happy not to miss my brothers wedding

Duckdeamon · 28/07/2015 10:06

I wouldn't have been able to fly or even attend a wedding at this stage post C section and when establishing breastfeeding.

QuizteamBleakley · 28/07/2015 10:06

No, no, no, NO - you just can't go. Sorry to be blunt. Hats off to the pp who've done it but not one has gone to Asia with an unvaccinated newborn, and understandably so.

Hep A & Typhoid are particular risks (as is dengue fever, and those little bastards are about all day). Even if you were able to get the vaccinations done, the immunity takes - at best - weeks and others a few months. To continue my bluntness: its is doable - but there is a very real danger that you are putting the health of your baby at risk.

Stay home, where you are comfortable, and enjoy your newborn. You're a huge part of your DSis's life - this is just one day. Arrange something amazing for them both and send a video out with your family members, wishing them well. Chances are, you'd have spent little time directly with her on the day.

One other thing to consider: what about your vaccinations? Are they up to date?

Good luck with the baby! Flowers

Rosie29 · 28/07/2015 10:07

Aside from all the passport/vaccine info, I think this situation will just be too stressful. If the baby is late you'll be worried about getting passports etc, if you have a c-section you'll be worried etc. I've had four kids, easy births and out and about within a few days etc but you just don't know what's going to happen. Burning a piece of toast can send you into a hormonal meltdown when overdue/ postpartum, I just think the pressure and stress of can we go/can't we will affect you, your dh and your newborn at a time which is very special. Make the decision now.
Arrange to watch the wedding via Skype/FaceTime.

Carrie5608 · 28/07/2015 10:16

As far as I know babies born in Thailand get BCG (tuberculosis) and Hepatitis B vaccination very soon after birth due to the high risk of these diseases in Thailand. For me that would make it a No.

Why don't you discuss it with a GP or health visitor and get some qualified medical advice.

Ladyconstance · 28/07/2015 10:16

In Malaysia/Thailand newborns typically aren't taken out if their homes till 2 months old or so. And vaccinations are taken very seriously even in small villages. Local people wouldn't dream of having a newborn on public transport or in public places because of the real danger of infections & viruses. Please don't risk it. Being from the western world means nothing if your baby gets sick in a tropical country.

broomy123 · 28/07/2015 10:23

I feel for you OP tough call! To be fair at 6 weeks I was still breastfeeding constantly so the flight wouldn't bother me as I was sat on my arse most of the time anyway. I got sick in labour and had an EMCS and I didn't feel right for 8 weeks. Could you maybe travel with some family to help you out a bit? My other problem was my baby had awful reflux and I was constantly at the dr for the first two months. Just another consideration to Add to your headache!

I wouldn't worry re passport as you can get an express one issued (although maybe check with them)

You just don't know how you'll feel and how it will all go I guess. Any chance of booking last minute?

Hellion7433 · 28/07/2015 10:23

I would not consider this at all. It would have been too much for me post birth and utterly exhausted. If your baby has colic or tongue tie (like many babies do), it could be hell on earth.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 28/07/2015 10:25

Lotte:
" I wouldn't miss my sisters wedding for anything really.

Even the health of your new born?"

I'm assuming my newborn is healthy obviously.

If you're referring to vaccinations I think this is something I'd have to investigate further. The standard newborn vaccinations are not the same vaccinations you'd usually get for Thailand (which when I had them, where only necessary if you were going off established tourist track)

Standard newborn vaccs are the 5 in 1- diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, polio and hib. Rotavirus, and The pneumococcal vaccine.

I've just checked and potentially recommended for Thailand- yellow fever, hep b, rabies, TB, Japanese encephalitis, rabies.

I would have to check whether baby would be any more likely to get the diseases vaccinated against by standard newborn vaccines in Thailand rather than here
Before making any rash decisions.

Hellion7433 · 28/07/2015 10:29

You could say to your sister that you really want to be at her special day. And plan to get a passport as soon as the little one is born but essentially need to see how things go so can only book the flights a couple of weeks post birth if things go to plan.

Having a baby easily tops a wedding day commitment/energy/trauma wise. Your sister should understand even if she is disappointed.

Hellion7433 · 28/07/2015 10:29

Your baby and your health needs to take priority

Hellion7433 · 28/07/2015 10:31

Hadn't even thought of Thailand injections for the little one!

GrannyWW · 28/07/2015 10:32

Anyone in Thailand would think you are mad to be honest - newborns are cossetted and in general not passed around like soft toys as in UK except for close family.

Hellion7433 · 28/07/2015 10:34

Why don't you forward this thread to your sister? It might help her understand

Ilovecrapcrafts · 28/07/2015 10:34

But assume OP is going to a hotel/ tourist resort rather than a country village to be observed by locals? Who cares if they would think she is mad?

GrannyWW · 28/07/2015 10:34

The heat can also be very deceptive and your baby may struggle to adapt especially if you ate not as baby focused as you might be with everything going on - also medical treatment can be hit and miss for tourists.

Hellion7433 · 28/07/2015 10:35

At 6 weeks I was still establishing breastfeeding and going through the usual PFB worry about weight gain

GrannyWW · 28/07/2015 10:37

Ilovecrapcrafts - because they know of all the local, some deadly and others just very unpleasant things unvaccinated babies can catch - being local themselves and all

Ilovecrapcrafts · 28/07/2015 10:41

My point is a baby in the UK wouldn't get vaccinated against the standard travel vaccinations. My HV told me they aren't offered for the first year as they aren't suitable for babies. So it's a case of not going at all, whether the baby is 8 weeks or 8 months.
In a resort you obviously wouldn't be exposed to the same risks (which is why, in this country vacs are not required if you stay in resort) the baby wouldn't be eating or drinking either.

TheRealAmyLee · 28/07/2015 10:47

Hadn't seen Thailand. DEFINATELY ask for professional advice. They may make the choice for you as I have a feeling unvaccinated babies over there is a big no no.

Midwife/doc/hv.
Registrtation place.
Passport office.
Flight company.
Travel insurance company.

ALL of these have to say yes it is possible.