'The only way we've sorted a sleep prob in this house is controlled crying' - fuck off!!

[Smataya]

I text friend who has two under two how hard it's been of late with Ds 11 months just not sleeping. I've explained before he is just not a sleeper and likes to be close at night, wakes a lot for milk and that I'm doing attachment parenting. She knows how against cc I am and I will not ever leave my child to cry. Ds has not slept for longer than an hour since he was 5 months which is starting to take its toll, but as I say, he's just not a sleeper and it's tough.

Why the f is she doing this pa bull shit about cc over text?? She's been like eerr have you tried sleep training to me before and I just don't want to hear it. Her two sleep through and I just find it smug- she's got lucky and now claiming its all down to cc. Am I justified in texting back to say ftfo to the far side of fuck?!?!

Op I was just like you way back in 1989. Absolutely beyond tired and ended up crashing my car with ds in the back due to tiredness.

I did cc then for the whole families survival. It worked like magic after 2 days.

I then did it with all of my subsequent children. It works op it works.

They are all teens/grown up now and the most well adjusted funny lovely people you could meet.

you need sleep love. You deserve sleep. Baby will take what he can from you as he neither knows or cares about you except as a care giver. But as an adult you know you need sleep.

The reason I'm passionately against it for my children is that I don't believe it works by teaching a child to self sooth but by teaching them that however sad and scared they are, they are on their own. Like the Miles has learned nobody comes advert.

Comparing an advert about child abuse to trying to get a toddler to sleep through is a fucking ridiculous comparison!

I can't believe the linking CC to the Nspcc adverts!

I have a non sleeping 5 year old, I know how tough it is. But an 11 month old waking hourly something needs to change, so little sleep isn't going to be developmentally benefital for anyone. It doesn't need to be CC but what you are doing now obviously isn't working!

If you know you and your friend have different stances on the topic then why message her in the first place?

Do whatever you're comfortable with. And that includes texting her.

But at least recognise that you're sleep deprived and that is clouding your communications with people and you may well sour the friendship.

I promise you, when your kids toddle off to school and turn into little people, you'll barely remember this.

Why would you text your friend if You knew what her response would be?

I did cc/sleep training with all of mine (although it was just called putting your baby to bed clean warm and fed back in the day) and never had a sleepless night, I don't feel smug about it at all but I can not feel sorry for any parent who is not sleeping due to having their baby attached to them 24/7 when they have made the decision to do that. I seriously can not get my head around why any parent would rather be sleep deprived than finding a solution to the problem.Obviously that is just my opinion and if anyone moaned to me about sleepless nights I would tell them to sleep train.

I feel for you, had a poor sleeper (not quite as bad as yours), and didn't want to do any crying methods. What finally did it for us, when he was about 16 months, was night weaning - lots of cuddles and explaining there was no more milk every time he woke up, and within a week he was sleeping through the night most nights, or waking once and settling back quickly with a bit of a pat - he could do it he just fancied a bit of milk every time he roused!

At the same time, if you moan to someone, and they feel for you, they will try to offer you a solution. As I just did.

OP I suggest you join some fb groups for attachment parenting if you don't want cc to be suggested. It is perfectly fine for you not to want to do cc, just the same as its fine for other people to want to do it.
There are plenty of other options if you want to try and improve your DSs sleep like gradual retreat, white noise.
I have never left DS to cry, I just couldn't do it. I made very gradual changes to our routine, putting him down awake but sleepy but if he cried I cuddled him again and then tried again. Yes it did take longer but it was something I was comfortable with and that is the important part.
I'm guessing there aren't any signs of ear problems or reflux in your DS as these things can cause havoc with sleep too.
Best of luck to you, sleep deprivation is horrible.

I love the irony that two or three nights if crying is cruel but letting them. wake up hourly for months on end til mum and baby are so sleep deprived life must he frickin miserable is somehow not so cruel.

^^ this is exactly what I was thinking!

I don't subscribe to CC either but an 11 month old needing to feed through the night is an issue. You need to make sure he's eating enough solid food during the day. No 11 month old should be needing food in the night. By offering milk all night you will leave your baby too full to eat well during the day and the cycle will repeat...

The reason I'm passionately against it for my children is that I don't believe it works by teaching a child to self sooth but by teaching them that however sad and scared they are, they are on their own. Like the Miles has learned nobody comes advert

You should be ashamed for even comparing cc with neglect.

Ridiculous, harmful and stupid thing to say

littletabby cc is absolutely not about teaching them that they're on their own. Going in at very regular intervals ensures they know you're there. You don't want to do it that's fine, but don't demonise people who do, it's ignorant.

Sleep deprivation is getting to me. But I just don't agree with cc and that's that. And I do think she's being smug, so there, and I won't text back until I've calmed down- which this thread has not helped!

Ap is the most natural form of parenting there is, and I completely agree that cc is like that advert.

I'll do as pp suggest and look at natural mamas and Dr Sears.

I had two bad sleepers and mostly just put up with it. But now that I've read more about we grow and repair during sleep, I think I would have been a bit tougher had I realised how essential sleep is.

OP I know where you are coming from a little bit. I have a friend who is evangelical about bloody amber teething necklaces. She's recommended them to me a couple of times. I've smiled and nodded despite knowing they are a load of woo nonsense. Now I just don't tell her when DS is teething. And therefore she doesn't go on about it. I fully expect, if I were to moan about how awful his teething was, she would tell me to get one and go on a out how great they are yadda yadda. I don't because I would have to bite my tongue from telling her to fuck off. I know she's only trying to help though.

The moral of my story? Your friend is trying to be nice because she thinks you've asked for help. If you don't want her help, don't moan about the problem.

We had the 'role play' anti bottle feeding thread earlier this week and now this.

Are you the same poster OP going by your last post ^

Yes doing what if takes to help a child get good sleep in a loving home is so abusive isn't it!

Oh dear - this will not end well now!

Sorry I'm just on auto pilot. I'm pissed off I've got into this on mn- I genuinely thought more people would be supportive! Oh well

Ap is the most natural form of parenting there is, and I completely agree that cc is like that advert

Well here is another YABU for you then.

Stupid and damaging comparison!

As for this thread OP you posted and 99% of posters disagree that she was being smug. Think about it

You poor sod OP. Look at the advice you've been given. Even come back to it tomorrow.

"teaching them that however sad and scared they are, they are on their own."
But who says babies who wake in the night are sad and scared? Often, it's more to do with habit.

OP - see if you can get a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution. I'm far from an AP- parent, but CC was not for me by a long shot. DD2 was a dreadful sleeper due to bad habits learned when she was ill, and the NCSS helped me find something that was gentle enough but also succeeded in getting her to sleep better.