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AIBU?

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Original poster

daughter having probs with a customer at work

197 replies

ghostspirit · 22/07/2015 17:16

i dont know the answer to this: my daughter is 18 she works in a shop. There is an old man that comes in the shop. she said she thinks hes a paedohile (she dont know that) and he keeps hitting on her. i asked what does he do. he keeps grabbing her hand telling her shes beauiful,sexy and wishes she was with him. its happend 3 times. she said she ended up crying when he left the shop. She said the manager was acting harsh and expected her not to get upset over it. she said to me if it carrys on she will leave the job.

she has been told she can refuse to serve him.

does she have to put up with him. or should something be said to him. is he doing anything wrong. i would have thought if its upsetting someone then he is. i dont know how it works. any advice please thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 17:56

no idea liz she told me she had done it to and said she was told dont worry about it...and she really did not worry about! common sence clearly was not there 2.35 and she never questioned it.

sooty im not sure what he could put in a refrence really.

shes bit gutting about being sacked but not overly upset. but she really cant be doing things like that...anyway its been done hopefully more awear next time

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 25/07/2015 18:00

Are you certain she was sacked?

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 18:05

ghost standard references simply confirm her employment there and that's what she will get. If there is a template to full in he will confirm that there were no problems with time keeping or honesty.

She needs to be clear about what she'll be telling the job centre to avoid a delay in the payment of her claim.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 18:07

she will tell job centre she was asked to leave because of the mistakes she made...dont think she can say much else

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 18:10

Has that been stated in writing?

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 18:11

And has she been summarily dismissed without notice?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 18:17

nothing in writing? she was told this morning. her next shift would have been wednesday

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LIZS · 25/07/2015 18:38

If on 0 hours surely they can simply offer her no more shifts. She can tell JC they notified her that they no longer wanted to do so. It does demonstrate a concerning lack of common sense though. If she didn't know how to use the till or thought it wasn't correct she should have called her manager over at the time. Does she realise that now ? It may be that the manager has now had to justify the discrepancy to head office and that is why it has suddenly come to a head.

noddingoff · 25/07/2015 18:39

Onwards and upwards, at least she won't have to work for an unsupportive boss any more. No wonder the business is failing and has a high staff turnover if he expects them to put up with that shit. If a customer where I work treated any of our staff like that, they'd be out the door quick smart escorted by the boss and told never to return.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 18:53

i agree liz i really hope she has learnt something from it. anyway its been done now. so go job centre monday. i dont even know how she does it :/ best get googling

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RachelRagged · 25/07/2015 19:40

Your DD should go to gov.uk and it tells you the phone number. She will need to ring that number, give details over the phone and the JC will then give her a date and time to go in and sign the statement and see a job adviser. She would then sign on the following week. I don't know how that stands with being sacked , which is actually disgusting of the Boss in my opinion.

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 19:46

She doesn't need to phone. The claim is submitted online then they contact her with a job centre appointment with an adviser. She just needs to tell them she wasn't offered any hours on her contract therefore the job has come to an end

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 19:49

And please tell her that she must read the client claim commitment before she signs it and be certain of what she has to do for her claim conditions otherwise she risks being sanctioned if she doesn't comply.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 19:58

thanks sooty i will go through it with her.really did not want to to be signing on

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CarrotVan · 25/07/2015 19:58

Ghost does your daughter have any additional needs? From what you've said she seems to be struggling with some of the basics around money, work, responsibility etc. If so she might be able to access some additional training/ support to build her independance which might take some of the pressure off you

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 20:02

She will have to sign in the job centre ghost but she needs to be aware that she will be expected to open a Universal Job Match account (if I were you I'd suggest to her that she does that before the appointment) record activity on it according to their requirements, and accept full time work within 90 minutes of travel time.

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 20:04

She was going to do a CV wasn't she? They will require her to do that and upload it to her account as well.

LazyLohan · 25/07/2015 20:05

I suspect it probably took a week because the decision about what to do went elsewhere, especially if the manager is temporary. He probably had to escalate it up to HR or the area manager to confirm what to do.

Selling an iPhone for £2.35 is a sackable offence. It just is. I don't think there is anyway anyone could do that and expect not to be sacked unless they had five years spotless service behind them or something. Combined with the incident of leaving the till open while she opened the safe I think it's to be expected really. I think that your daughter is quite fortunate because she has a reference behind her and I think that they could quite reasonably have refused given the iPhone incident.

I suspect that they know that your daughter is a nice girl and thought she was reliable but they know that she is not really suitable for that particular job. If I was writing a reference for someone in those circumstances I would make sure that I concentrated on the positives, such as if she has always been punctual, not taken time off sick, is polite, got along well with her colleagues and kept the shop tidy and well presented. Things like that.

I think it might be a blessing in disguise because it really doesn't sound like working in a shop is for her, it sounds like it could be a bit pressurised for her and she gets flustered and is somewhat nervous dealing with customers.

Has she thought about other things she would like to do? Perhaps something office based or working outdoors or with children would be good for an entry level post?

LazyLohan · 25/07/2015 20:08

Or perhaps something mechanical or similar? Could she consider an apprenticeship?

A lot of them are really good. If she does make sure she does something decent though. There are a lot around me like being apprentices in hospital labs, business admin, working with children or doing engineering things or healthcare based which lead to decent jobs at the end. Tell her to stay away with from things like cafe or customer service based apprenticeships. They're not very good, they don't teach much and you don't come out with much but a minimum wage job at the end (if you are lucky).

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 20:12

An apprenticeship might be a very good idea.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 20:50

carrotvan shes never been told she has but i do sometimes wonder. i do accdemic wise so i cant help her with that. she failed math in school she got a D. shes been going college trying to pass maths for the pass 2 years..but it was not a gcse it was an alternitive at level 1 i think. plus she kept bunking of and not going as she should.

i have a really difficult couple of years with her..more than a couple. she cant be told shes wrong,cant guide her,cant suggest anything shes always right. if i asked how can you sell an iphone for 2.35 she would blame the till. not question that 2.35 for an iphone is not odd. so now as long as shes not in any sort of danger i let her make her own mistakes weather she learns from them is another thing.

lazy i agree part from i would not give up on retail just yet...keep all doors open.

sooty 90 mins thats a madness hopefully that will put her of. im a bit scared she will be happy to get 100 odd a fortnight

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 20:57

Since you're in London ghost with good transport links I doubt she'll have to apply 90 minutes away.

Do make it clear to her that she won't simply get 100 odd a fortnight. You will need her to contribute her board out of that and after a set period of time the job centre can move her to a full time training or work programme if she hasn't secured employment.

LIZS · 25/07/2015 20:59

She really needs the maths if she is ever to get a job with prospects. Level 2 is gcse equivalent and if she were to take an apprenticeship would be part of the college training. A lot of teens are arrogant and can't/won't be told anything but your dd seems to go beyond that in her sense of how things work and way of thinking.

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 21:13

True LIZS

We had an office apprentice who really struggled with learning but she got her NVQ level 2s including Maths as part of the training and she has a full time permanent job with one of our partner agencies now.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 25/07/2015 21:20

100% agree liz but impossible to tell her that.

yes sooty i will make sure she knows all of that. she wont believe me about the work programmes or sanctions till it happens wich it will.

but i will try and encourage her into work/apprentise/training/college in a possitive way.not sure what would suit her though.

oh liz i dont have any GCSE's at all she would just say you got a job without them bla bla.

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