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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dds friend is doing my bloody head in.

470 replies

Deeperdown · 18/07/2015 09:06

She's on holiday with us, she's used to a hotel with no kids facilities at all, we are on a site with flipping loads of kids stuff Inc for older kids.

She's bored, she's not going to the beach because it's boring, she doesn't want us to go to the entertainment or the activities because they are boring.
Basically they are boring because all she wants to do is waste all her money in the arcades.

I'm putting my foot down and telling them we are going out but we've had one evening and I'm pissed off already. They are both 12.

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/07/2015 12:28

I had this in may with my 30 year old friend. She just sat in the hotel room being anti everything. She was so miserable even my 7 yr old DD has said she's never going on holiday with her again.

It has pissed me off so much that my first holiday with my DD was ruined by a moody cow.

You have my sympathies Deeper

loveareadingthanks · 18/07/2015 12:35

I'd offer to send her home as well as she obviously isn't enjoying herself.

(to be fair though, if this is a holiday camp with 'entertainment' that's my idea of holiday hell too, and perhaps it isn't quite what she was expecting/imagining . As an adult I'd suck it up and pretend to enjoy it while dying inside, but as a 12 year old I probably would have been a madam too. I'm sure holidays I enjoy, you'd find very boring, we are all different. Thinking of that holiday swap programme that was on a few years ago - bloody loved that!)

There's no way you should have to endure having her moods and strops spoiling your holiday.

Do everyone a favour and let her go home.

pictish · 18/07/2015 12:36

My mum let me bring a friend on holiday with us when I was a youngster and she was bloody awful. She complained about and scorned everything from the area to the food to the accommodation. Her manners were appalling, I was mortified by her. We ended up going home early just to get shot of her.
I don't know if my mum ever told her mum (they were friends) how she had behaved, but I hope she did. When I look back on it now I still feel annoyed.
I went right off her after that holiday.

madhairday · 18/07/2015 12:55

Yes, agree with pp, send her home, it sounds like she'll spoil the holiday.

My 14 yo dd has gone on holiday with her friend and friend's family this week, also to a caravan park with loads to do. She has been so incredibly excited and will make the most of every minute. I'd be mortified if she acted this way, but know she wouldn't.

I couldn't be doing with a friend mooching around like that calling everything boring.

Hope you can get it sorted and enjoy your time away.

larant · 18/07/2015 13:10

I know as a 12 year old I wouldn't have enjoyed this kind of holiday. But I would have been polite and said nothing to the adults who took me away. I can't believe how rude this girl is.

LindyHemming · 18/07/2015 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Deeperdown · 18/07/2015 15:27

The child knew the sort of holiday, the family knew the sort of holiday. Child has been to pontins before so knows what to expect.

I've spoke to Mum. She's not happy.

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 18/07/2015 15:30

I don't think it matters what "sort" of holiday it is. She presumably knew before she accepted your invitation and whether or not it's her thing you should be able to expect manners and a bit of gratitude from a 12 year old. Please don't let this ruin your holiday- if she can't behave she can go home.

Jackie0 · 18/07/2015 15:37

You haven't said if you are far from home, is it feasible to stop her off or get her collected?
I just couldn't allow this to continue for the duration of the holiday.
She is being so rude.

Inertia · 18/07/2015 15:38

Mum not happy or child not happy?

CruCru · 18/07/2015 16:09

I love the suggestion of having a kind chat with her.

sadwidow28 · 18/07/2015 16:15

I've spoke to Mum. She's not happy

Not happy with you? Not happy with DD?

You have just scuppered her 7 days of child-free week. (At £300 spending money for the child I think she could have paid for a Summer Club or something - so I don't think money is the issue.) But 7 free nights without parental duties is not to be sniffed at!

I looked after DN almost every weekend after my DB died. I wanted SIL to build a new life for herself (like me, she was a young widow). But one weekend - this week 5 years ago - DN 'acted up' and wouldn't engage with my Annual BBQ visitors and wouldn't allow other children to go into the Lazy-spa if he was in there.

Two guests were due to be child-minding themselves that weekend, and chose to collect their grandson from 100 miles away and bring him to my Annual BBQ which was a mix of child-focus and adult-focus.

ME: DN, let the other boys come into the hot spa with you
DN: They splash me
ME: You have your goggles here, put them on
DN: Then I can't see when they splash me
ME: But you splash with A and W when you play in there
DN: I don't feel like splashing today
ME: Well, would you like to come and sit with me and Uncle F?
DN: You're telling stories when I wasn't there. It's boring
ME: Are you ready for a burger?
DN: Don't like them - not the same as my DM buys
ME: There are sausages or frankfurters... you have both at my house before
DN: I don't eat them now
ME: I have home-made Margueritta Pizza - you like that
DN: I don't like your Pizza, I only like [name of fast food Pizza]
ME: You are not being nice today. You are spoiling R's Annual BBQ. Come for a walk with me away from everyone else and tell me what is bothering you.
DN: I walked with you and R earlier, I am not walking again.

I gave him a choice - either join in and share OR phone DM and say he needed to be collected immediately. DN decided that he would phone his DM to be collected immediately.

90 minutes later, my SIL arrived in my back garden and I said 'hello - J's in his room and won't join in'. She picked up DN's weekend bag, and spoke to one of my guests to say "I am taking him home. He is very bored. SW doesn't have an x-box and that is what he likes to play with."

I simply will NOT be controlled by a child's bad behaviour.

Original poster
Deeperdown · 18/07/2015 17:54

She's not happy with the dd , she too far away to collect. ( a few hours by train)

OP posts:
Original poster
Deeperdown · 18/07/2015 17:58

I did the kind chat btw

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 18/07/2015 17:59

Can she have a word with her DD?

WankerDeAsalWipe · 18/07/2015 18:05

Tell her she is being "boring" and she can either join in with what you do or she can sit on her own in the caravan.

Didntseethiscominghelpplease · 18/07/2015 18:09

Been in similar situation albeit a sleepover. Kid was painful, oddly had harassed DS to come to ours. We were slightly reluctant. He was relentless in expressing his boredom even though Ds and his local mates were all out on the back field having their usual great fun. eventually by teatime I'd heard enough moaning and called the visitors bluff by ringing his parents. I explained we were clearly not exciting enough and that it Paula be best for them to collect him before we bored him any more. they were half cut, this was about 5pm, had a houseful of visitors so sent a taxi for him. By this time he was desperate to stay and saying how cool our house was as we let Ds have his mates in and the field was cool and blah blah. Taxi arrived. Dh accompanied said child home and I followed. Don't ask me the logic on this we just needed the cost implication to matter to the kid and them. DH and I drove home opened a lovely bottle of red and were very grateful our Ds was really sad but relieved.

LavenderLeigh · 18/07/2015 18:11

So DD either bucks up or uses some of her £300 to pay for her train ticket home. her DM can meet her at the other end if she isn't willing to come down herself.
Her choice.

DoTheDuckFace · 18/07/2015 18:13

How rude. I would be absolutely mortified if this was my child too. Your poor daughter is probably feeling very stuck in the middle too.
Next time she says something is boring just tell her that no one died of boredom and she is coming weather she likes it or not.

AliceAlice1979 · 18/07/2015 18:20

Has her attitude improved at all?

maresedotes · 18/07/2015 18:21

Some of these stories are awful. hygge I could feel my blood pressure rising at yours. OP, sorry you're having to contend with this on your holiday. What does DD say?

SnowBells · 18/07/2015 18:23

Have video games taken over the world now?

I mean, I liked playing video games as a child. Still do now from time to time. But that has never been my entire world, and if it had been when I was a child, my mum would have taken it away...

Osmiornica · 18/07/2015 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverNightFairy · 18/07/2015 18:37

I am so very sorry for you and in a way very sorry for this little girl. How can she not be having fun on such holiday with her friend? Ruling out homesickness, I'm guessing this is an over indulged child, used to running the show. Her mum will have to either come get her little princess or agree to meet the train. Your holiday should not be ruined catering to her mood. I would be mortified and angered beyond belief if another mum rang to tell me my daughter was behaving in such a manner.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 18/07/2015 18:53

Well done for speaking to the mother. Can she control her child by talking to her on the phone? Hoping so, it's not on for a child to ruin a holiday, they are too precious!