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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dds friend is doing my bloody head in.

470 replies

Deeperdown · 18/07/2015 09:06

She's on holiday with us, she's used to a hotel with no kids facilities at all, we are on a site with flipping loads of kids stuff Inc for older kids.

She's bored, she's not going to the beach because it's boring, she doesn't want us to go to the entertainment or the activities because they are boring.
Basically they are boring because all she wants to do is waste all her money in the arcades.

I'm putting my foot down and telling them we are going out but we've had one evening and I'm pissed off already. They are both 12.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 22/07/2015 16:41

To be fair to the mum, I've been in areas where I could get/send texts sporadically but not make/receive a voice call. But that's generally been in wilderness areas or in our more remote National Parks (I'm in the US).

I wouldn't wait around for auntie. I'd pack Miss Misery's bag and either tell her to sit and wait in the caravan, hire a sitter (at her expense) to wait with her, or take her to whatever activity we had planned and sit her on a bench to watch, and text auntie to call you when/where she arrives to pick up, even if I had to leave an activity to walk her over. I wouldn't want to waste 1/2 day sitting about.

Hissy · 22/07/2015 16:47

No signal to phone, only to text?

What a crock of shit!

Seems like the mother thinks you're an idiot too OP :(

She clearly knew her dd was ruining things, and has completely sidestepped the issue.

I'm glad the aunt is coming. I'm glad the child is in full knowledge that she's absolutely buggered it all up and has overdone the brat role.

As I said before, you need to reconsider your education choice I think, isolation at play times is like a punishment. And it's not helping her socialise in any way at all. I assume she's in mainstream education, are there any SN schools you could apply to? If she had a better social network she's not so likely to fall prey to manipulative types and those who will damage her esteem

Hissy · 22/07/2015 16:51

Bugger, I was going to edit that and hit post instead. I don't want to preach or tell you what to do, but a couple of your comments about her lack of friends really struck a chord, along with the comment about this girl spending time with her alone and how she waited until you were gone to ruin your dd enjoyment of the activity. I really didn't like the sound of that at all.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/07/2015 17:25

YoU try an make sure you have a bloody ball the rest of the holiday. I know you only have 2 days left but even so. I feel so sorry for you all having your holiday ruined.
Do you think though she may have been suffering from a bit of home sickness.

AspieAndNT · 22/07/2015 17:28

DO NOT GIVE THEM BACK ANY OF THE MONEY!!!!!

Don't even mention it.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 22/07/2015 17:47

You have to return the spending money - it's been given you to look after but is still the property of the girl/her family

AcrossthePond55 · 22/07/2015 18:12

Gobbo is right, you have to give back whatever money hasn't been spent. Just be glad to be rid of her.

SuperFlyHigh · 22/07/2015 18:14

Gobbllino depending on how much spending money is left I'd speak to brat's mother and say 'right as your child ruined my holiday I'm taking xxx £££ towards another holiday, that's fair I think you'll agree.'

This is also assuming op paid for holiday food etc for brat so she's treated Her already with no thanks or respect in return.

WayneRooneysHair · 22/07/2015 18:14

The posters saying don't give the money back can't be serious, it's not the OP's and if she kept it then it'd be theft.

SuperFlyHigh · 22/07/2015 18:16

I made the suggestion to say that to the mother wayne op has probably sent brat back with the cash anyway.

WayneRooneysHair · 22/07/2015 18:19

As she should Fly.

It's not the OP's money and as far demanding some of money to pay towards another holiday... The OP would need brass balls and the mum will say no anyway.

WayneRooneysHair · 22/07/2015 18:20

As for*

clam · 22/07/2015 18:32

"'right as your child ruined my holiday I'm taking xxx £££ towards another holiday, that's fair I think you'll agree.'"

Seriously? That's how you recommend dealing with people in life? How's that working for you?

pictish · 22/07/2015 18:37

Got to agree. Read the answers earlier urging OP to keep the spending money. As if. As the fuck if.

Seriously, don't advise people to do things that you'd never do yourselves in a million years.

WayneRooneysHair · 22/07/2015 18:40

Some people just want to see the world burn, either that or they are idiots Grin

captainfarrell · 22/07/2015 18:42

Well done deeper for standing up for yourself, your mum and your children!

Marynary · 22/07/2015 18:47

More ridiculous suggestions. OP can't take the child's money. That would be theft.

captainfarrell · 22/07/2015 18:52

Definitely don't take the money. It wouldn't be right and would make it look like that was your motive all along. Just learn from this and enjoy what remains of your break!

Hellion7433 · 22/07/2015 18:57

I'm sure when you account for the cost of feeding her, activities, giving her a bed, there mustn't be much cash left anyway. I think you should plan a really nice meal out and have a laugh about it

Hellion7433 · 22/07/2015 18:59

I think you should work put a fair amount to send back/keep to cover expenses. You can probably work it out and run through it via text with the mother.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 22/07/2015 19:18

You can deduct any expenses you have incurred but you can't keep anymore

If it was never agreed that she would contribute to food etc, then you can't retain money for that

It would just look awful if you did (and be theft) plus it could make things very hard for you/DD at school as no doubt this girl will deny her behaviour and say that you sent her home early and kept the money

If I were you, I would actually take the moral high ground (if you can afford to) and return the whole lot. Then there needs to be no discussions with the mother about what was spent and why. I would make it clear to the mother that whilst you did incur expenses on her behalf, you intended for the holiday to be a treat and that is why her behaviour has been so particularly disappointing. You don't want to discuss the matter again and therefore are returning all of the money

Hellion7433 · 22/07/2015 19:30

I agree you can only deduct what you agreed she'd pay for.

Do something really nice tomorrow OP though. Make the end of the week count

SuperFlyHigh · 22/07/2015 19:31

My post came across wrong, I didn't mean to demand but liaise with the other mother re money.

So OP just blithely says if her path crosses with brats mother "oh no that's FINE she was a pain in the arse but don't worry!"

Also what if the mother though I doubt she would offered OP money should OP then say "no no worries".

You lot seem to forget that a holiday was spoiled by a child the mother refused to deal with the problem and it seems has gone away without her DD so presumably knows what a little charmer she is. So the mother seems to know exactly what she was up to palming her DD off on OP.

SuperFlyHigh · 22/07/2015 19:36

Hellion yes your 2nd post re working out a set amount to keep back was more what I should've said... Blush

I just hate the idea myself of being taken for a mug especially where money is concerned but that's me.

To those who think OPs DD would have a tough time when back at school. You can't tell but chances are the brat will be nasty either way and quite possibly tell lies re what really happened on the holiday. I bet the OP as she stated before wishes she'd rang the mum/aunt earlier to send the child back and had a nicer holiday.

Original poster
Deeperdown · 22/07/2015 19:49

She's gone.
My Mum has been very upset as she thinks everything She ever plans falls flat Sad

Am gutted for her.

OP posts: